


Of Tiger Sharks and Pilot Fish

by lostonthisisland



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of a Suicide Attempt, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Harm, Slavery, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Rape, these tags are just awful I'm sorry, underage sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-13 18:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2161182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostonthisisland/pseuds/lostonthisisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh and Tyler are living trapped lives - it is only when they find each other they can be free.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tyler grit his teeth as the truck rocked and bounced over the uneven road. Every jostle was sending flares of pain through his side where a large bruise stretched alongside his rib cage. One of them must be broken, he thought miserably.

 

The truck just started to slow before coming to an abrupt stop that sent Tyler sliding along the bench into the girl next to him. Consequently, the guy on his right came following after and Tyler let out a pained grunt when a forearm slammed into his ribs.

 

"Sorry." The guy said absently and straightened himself out, his eyes darting around the truck, wide and fearful.

 

Tyler straightened himself too and felt his heart quickly pick up pace. They were here.

 

Inside the truck, the air was hot and damp as everyone's breathing accelerated. Their fear becoming palpable. Deep voices moved around outside for a bit before the back doors unlocked and swung open, spilling light onto terrified faces.

 

"Alright, out! Everyone out!" A handler yelled and the scuffle-scrape sound of chains against wood filled the truck.

 

Tyler hissed as he rose from the bench, his side throbbing with the beat of his heart. Awkwardly, he shuffled behind people, his ankles cuffed together like everyone else. When it was his turn to jump from the back of the truck Tyler hesitated, thinking of the pain in his ribs.

 

"Let's go!" The handler yelled and reached up to grab at the chain that held his wrists together before yanking him from the vehicle.

 

Tyler had less than a second to react before he was crashing into the stony gravel below him. A cry tore itself from his throat and Tyler curled around his ribs as waves of sharp pain ripped through him.

 

Someone was roughly grabbing his arm and pulling him up and Tyler fought the urge to scream as he was forced to stand and walk again.

 

"Move it!" The handler shouted in his ear and Tyler stumbled on, his breath hitching as something pressed painfully inside him. Shit. If his rib wasn't broken before it was definitely broken now.

 

Tyler fell to the back of the group as they were herded into a small, one story building. Inside, Tyler saw that this is where they'd be washed and groomed for the auction later today. There were rows of shower heads over tiled flooring with drains underneath each nozzle and impatient looking women with gloves on. There were also stations set up that looked like mini salons with chairs and scissors and blow-dryers.

 

Before being led to the showers they formed a line as each slave was put into the system by a man with a tablet.

 

"Next."

 

When it was Tyler's turn he raised his bound arms so the man could scan the barcode tattooed on the inner flesh of his wrist.

 

The man tapped the screen on his tablet a few times before shutting it and walking away. Tyler turned to the showers then and caught a woman waving him over.

 

He took his time, his breath wheezing painfully with every step. When he reached her, Tyler was surprised to look up and see gentle eyes on him. Pitying eyes.

 

There were no medical crews standing by at auctions for wounded slaves. They were simply sold as is. And if the slave was too damaged to even get a bid, they were put down.

 

"Can you take your clothes off?" She asked quietly and Tyler slowly bent over to slide his pants off. Tears sprung to his eyes as the movement brought a sharp, digging pain to something inside him, cutting his breath short.

 

She rushed to help him and leaned down to cut the pants from his ankles where his cuffs got in the way. She cut his shirt too, right up the middle so he didn't have to shrug it off his head.

 

Tyler heard the sharp intake of breath and he looked down to see how bad it was.

 

The bruise had grown twice in size since he'd last looked at it, and its color was so dark it looked nearly black against his pale skin.

 

"Okay," the girl said, looking away and busying herself with bottles of soap.

 

Washing him seemed to take forever since the girl was being so gentle about it and Tyler caught the eyes of the other women, looking on angrily.

 

"I'm okay, ma'am." Tyler said as he tried to help rub shampoo into his scalp, "Honestly."

 

"Don't. You're not." She said, batting his hands away, "I know they're looking at me, don't you worry about it though. I'll take my damn time if I want to."

 

Once he was dried off and a towel slung over his shoulders, the girl carefully led him to one of the salon chairs and got to work snipping his messy hair into something more presentable.

 

He was sucking in painful breaths and holding them while she worked. Sitting was making the pain in his ribs much more pronounced.

 

When she was finally done she helped him stand and wiped stray hairs from his shoulders before fitting him with a red plastic collar that had three black studs imbedded into it. The color red told potential buyers that he was trained to be a bed slave, and the black studs told them how many previous owners he'd had.

 

The girl gave him a final sad smile before sending him to a handler back outside.

 

He would be naked, save the collar and the cuffs, for the remainder of the auction. That way, buyers couldn't be lied to about scars, deformities, injuries or other physical attributes that might impact the value of a slave.

 

Tyler was pushed roughly along the road, jagged gravel digging painfully into the soles of his feet, until they reached the steel enclosure where Tyler and the other slaves would wait for the auction to begin.

 

|-/

 

Mark made his way through the crowd of people that were ogling the enclosures of slaves. There were two cages on either side of the bidding stage that held about a dozen slaves each.

 

Once he was in front, Mark peered into the first enclosure. Most of the slaves were sitting along the back wall, heads down and knees up. A man next to him sneered at one of the slaves, "C'mon, stand up girl so I can see your tits!"

 

Mark scowled.

 

He was shoved out of the way before he could get a good look at any of the slaves and Mark made his way to the other side to see the others.

 

There were less people peering into this cage and Mark figured it was because it was mostly men whereas the other enclosure held mostly girls. Again, most of the slaves sat quietly on the ground, their heads bowed. Mark caught one who was off to the side, leaning against the bars as far from onlookers as he could.

 

Before Mark had a chance to get a better look at him, an announcement rang out, "If buyers could please take their seats now, the auction will begin in a moment."

 

"Hey," A man with a bright orange shirt said as he walked alongside Mark, "Got your eyes on any one in particular?"

 

Taking a bidding paddle from one of the tables, Mark shrugged and searched for a good seat, "You?"

 

"Saw a couple I liked. And by 'like' I mean 'want to fuck ‘til they’re begging for mercy'." he laughed and Mark grimaced.

 

Quickly, he found a single seat between two that were already occupied and sat down, making orange shirt guy sit anywhere but next to him.

 

Mark waited as introductions and greetings were made until the actual bidding began. The first slave they pulled up was a young blonde girl, with a red collar and no studs. She was no older than sixteen and the bidding started immediately.

 

"Five-hundred!"

 

"Five-fifty!"

 

"Six-hundred!"

 

"Six-hundred to the man in the orange shirt."

 

"Seven!"

 

"Seven to the man on my right-"

 

"Seven-seventy-five!"

 

"Eight!"

 

"Nine-thousand!"

 

"Nine! Going to the gentleman with the glasses-"

 

"Nine-fifty!"

 

"Nine-fifty! Do I hear ten?"

 

"Ten thousand dollars!"

 

"Ten thousand! To the man in the orange, do I hear ten-fifty?"

 

The crowd was silent.

 

"Ten thousand dollars to the man in the orange shirt. Going once... going twice... sold! Sold for ten-thousand dollars! Thank you, sir. We'll write down your number and be sure to pick up your slave at the front house."

 

Ten- _thousand_ dollars. Mark watched the girl as she was led off the stage and he felt a pain in his stomach at the thought of what was going to happen to her.

 

He wished he was able to save them all, but it was impossible.

 

The slaves dropped in value as the bidding went on. And Mark sat with his paddle in his lap and waited until somebody affordable came to the stage.

 

Eventually, a young man with striking good looks limped onto the stage and Mark knew right away his price would be low. He had thick, ugly scars all across his midsection and it looked like he'd broken his ankle at one time only to have it set and heal the wrong way.

 

Mark debated. It might cost more to reset the kid's ankle than whatever he was going to be sold for.

 

The bidding started and a paddle went up for one-hundred dollars.

 

"Do I hear two-hundred?"

 

"Two!"

 

"Two-fifty!"

 

Mark panicked, not being able to make a decision. He had told himself he wasn't going to spend over five-hundred dollars.

 

"Three-hundred!"

 

"Three! Do I hear three-fifty?"

 

Mark threw up his paddle, feeling a jolt of adrenaline wash through him, "Three-fifty!"

 

"Three-fifty to the man in the back, thank you sir."

 

"Four!"

 

"Four-hundred! Do I hear five?"

 

"Five-hundred!"

 

Mark's heart sank. They'd reached his limit.

 

It went on until the kid sold for nine-fifty.

 

Damn. There were only a couple slaves left.

 

Mark tried his hand at the next couple of slaves that were brought on stage but every time he found himself outbid.

 

Then, a slave was brought out that Mark couldn't take his eyes off. He had a red color with three studs. He was young, short brown hair and dark eyes. Very handsome. But very skinny, like most slaves. He hobbled onto the stage, his cuffed wrists held stiffly in front of him, his face a contortion of pain.

 

There was a massive black bruise on the slave's left side and Mark knew that had to be checked out fast. It _looked_ incredibly painful and Mark sympathized.

 

The bidding began and at first everyone was quiet.

 

For an instant, Mark wondered if everyone else was thinking what he was thinking - that it looked like this kid could hardly hold himself up. That it looked like his injury would take a _long_ time to heal. That he was too damaged to be worth it.

 

But then someone bid, "One-hundred dollars!"

 

And Mark's eyes shot to the man in the orange shirt who had just bid.

 

No way.

 

He'd already bought three slaves.

 

Mark thought about the way he'd sneered over the slaves. Made clear what his purpose with them was.

 

Looking back at the slave on stage, the way he swayed like he was close to passing out from pain, Mark knew he'd never last.

 

"Two-hundred!" Mark flung up his paddle.

 

"Three!"

 

"Three! Do I hear three-fifty?"

 

Mark waited a moment, a passive look on his face. He didn't want to show his hand. Couldn't let them see how much he wanted this one.

 

"Going once..."

 

"Four-hundred!" Mark shouted, trying to add an air of indifference to his tone.

 

"Five!" The orange shirt guy shouted and Mark felt his pulse quicken.

 

No. He wasn't letting that guy win.

 

"Five-fifty!"

 

"Six!"

 

"Seven!"

 

It was blessedly quiet after Mark shouted seven and he'd knew he won.

 

"Seven! Going once... going twice... sold! For seven hundred dollars!"

 

The guy in the orange shirt glanced back at Mark and gave him a friendly grin. Mark tried to return it without scowling.

 

|-/

 

Tyler's breath was coming in short, painful gasps by the time he was led to the front house where buyer's picked up their new purchases.

 

It seemed like forever as he stood there, the color dimming around the edges of his vision, and waited for his new Master.

 

It had been so quiet at first when the bidding started. He thought he was going to be taken around back and shot like the wounded dog he was.

 

But someone had bought him. Someone had _outbid_ for him. He just hoped they'd have the decency to let him heal. He just wanted the pain to stop. It was all consuming and Tyler fought back a sob as it radiated through his side. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to stand.

 

Eventually, a young guy with a round face and light brown hair came over and Tyler did his best to stand up straight and not pass over right there from pain.

 

"Hey," The guy said and Tyler focused on his breathing, "I'm Mark. Um, you're coming back with me."

 

"Yes, Master," Tyler panted and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from groaning.

 

"Oh, um, I'm actually not your..." Mark trailed off and waved a dismissive hand in the air, looking slightly uncomfortable, "You're for a friend."

 

Tyler felt himself sway and tried to regain balance.

 

"I gotta get you outta here. You're gonna keel over any minute."

 

He tried to protest but Mark was already pushing him, moving him across grass that was much softer on his feet than the gravely road.

 

Tyler was gently pushed into the backseat of a car before he felt it rumble alive beneath him.

 

|-/

 

When Tyler woke he was in a bed and his body felt blissfully numb. His collar and his cuffs had been removed also and Tyler took a moment to relish the feeling before looking at his surroundings.

 

The room was warm, wood dressers and maroon painted walls. There was wall to wall carpeting and black bookshelves along one of the walls. Although they were mostly empty.

 

Tyler carefully sat up, a ghost of the pain in his side returned and he grimaced. There was a glass of water on the bed next to him and he stared at it longingly for a moment before looking away.

 

Lifting the warm blankets he was under, Tyler peered at his bruise. It was still massive and dark, but he felt a million times better and his breath came to him easier.

 

He was about to lay back down and let himself drift back to sleep when the door opened and his new Master walked in. No, wait, not his Master. He was a gift for his Master. Isn't that what the man had said? Mark, Tyler's brain supplied.

 

"Hey, you're awake." Mark said and sat down on the edge of the bed at Tyler's feet, "Um, they said your ribs were badly fractured. Said that it’s a good thing they saw you now or your lungs could have been damaged or something. Doc said it’ll take about three to six weeks to fully recover."

 

Tyler just swallowed and kept his eyes respectfully lowered. He was immensely grateful that he had been treated this much but was still confused as to why Mark was the one talking to him and not his new Master. He wanted to say something but didn't know where his place was with a man that bought him but to whom he didn't actually belong.

 

"You never told me your name." Mark spoke up.

 

Tyler flicked his eyes to the man's face, what was the correct answer here?

 

He was quiet as he debated but Mark eventually said, "That's cool. You don't have to tell me. Maybe later?"

 

Silence fell between them for a moment before Mark said conversationally, “You know I put this room together for him, so that when he got out of the hospital he could stay with me… But, he’s too damn proud. That’s why I got you.”

 

Tyler nodded, pretending to understand just what the heck Mark was talking about before getting enough nerves to say, "When will I meet my Master, sir?"

 

"Oh, umm. A week, maybe? I just wanted you to heal some." Mark scratched his nose before he looked at Tyler sideways and added, "His name's Josh, by the way... and I'm Mark... "

 

Tyler felt Mark's eyes on him for a beat before he sighed and stood up, "I'll come back later to check on you-"

 

"Tyler." Tyler blurted and fidgeted with the blanket on him.

 

He looked up in time to see Mark smile, "Nice to meet you, Tyler. I'll be back." and Mark left.

 

Tyler lay in the bed and thought for a moment.

 

His new Master was called Josh.


	2. Chapter 2

A doctor came to check on Tyler once a day and give him pain medication. He loved getting the painkillers but hated when the time came that he could feel their medicine fading and his pain returning.

 

Mark came in a couple times a day, giving him water and soup and crackers and sandwiches. They didn't say much. Mark would ask him questions sometimes but Tyler was too afraid to answer most of them.

 

Five more days went by before Mark was driving Tyler to his new Master's house.

 

They pulled into the driveway and Mark opened the door for Tyler, helping him stand. His side still hurt, but it was manageable. He could walk for a bit before it got too bad that he needed to lie down.

 

Mark assured him that his new Master – _Josh_ – would let him rest whenever he needed to but Tyler couldn’t be too sure.

 

Master’s were always different, they had different demands for Tyler, but they were always strict and almost always cruel.

 

Mark surprised him by taking out a key and using it to let them in without knocking.

 

“Josh!” Mark called as soon as they were in and Tyler took a moment to survey what he could see.

 

It was pretty ordinary compared to most houses, small in fact. And kind of messy… really messy. Clothes and shoes were strewn about the foyer and down the hallway, Tyler could see into the kitchen and got a glimpse of a counter littered with dirty plates and empty Redbulls.

 

There were footsteps on the staircase and Tyler looked up in time to see a young man with about a week’s worth of growth on his face and a baseball hat thrown over curly dark hair.

 

Mark reached out and hugged Josh before Josh stiffened and said, “Who else is here?”

 

“Uh, I kind of did something…” Mark started and Josh let go of him, his head turning in Tyler’s direction.

 

Tyler frowned as Josh’s eyes passed over him, something felt wrong about it.

 

“Josh,” Mark reached out and grabbed Tyler’s hand, pulling it toward Josh before grabbing Josh’s hand and putting it on Tyler’s arm, “This is Tyler.”

 

Josh instantly recoiled, taking his hand back like it’d been burned, “Hey.” He said coolly and Tyler understood.

 

His new Master was blind.

 

“Master.” Tyler addressed and bowed his head, quickly realizing the action was unnecessary.

 

Josh, though, made a face of disgust at his voice, “What the hell? Mark?”

 

“Oh, yeah, by the way, Tyler’s a slave.”

 

“Why the fuck did you bring a slave into my house? And why’s he calling me Master?”

 

Tyler flinched at the words and felt his chest constrict. He was already off to a bad start and he didn’t even do anything.

 

“Uh, I may have… bought him… under your name… or something like that.” Mark muttered and Josh’s face turned red.

 

“Mark.” He bit out and Tyler wanted to turn and run at his tone, “What the _fuck_?”

 

“Sorry! Look, ever since the accident it’s been pretty evident you need a little help around here and I just-”

 

“I don’t need anyone’s help!” Josh bellowed and he turned, his hand blindly reaching for the stair banister, “Especially not a _slave_.” His hand slapped against the wood railing and he grabbed it angrily before hauling himself up the stairs, “Get the fuck outta my house, Mark. Take your friend, too.”

 

A door slammed upstairs and Mark sighed.

 

“He’ll come around,” Mark said and Tyler just stared. That didn’t seem possible.

 

“C’mon, let me show you the place.”

 

Tyler tentatively followed Mark as he made his way through the house. They stepped over clothes and garbage in almost every room. Mark kicked at an empty bag of Doritos, “He’s gonna need a little help tidying up. It’s fucking gross, really. And um, maybe make him some real meals,” He said picking up an empty takeout bag from Taco Bell, “Can you cook?”

 

“Yessir.” Tyler murmered.

 

“Good. And maybe just tell him to shave every once in a while… go outside, smell the flowers or something.”

 

Mark started climbing the stairs and Tyler’s heart sped up. He felt like they were walking into the belly of the beast.

 

“Let’s see, this one’s a bathroom,” Mark was saying, opening doors along the hallway, “Guest bedroom… closet… Josh’s room,”

 

“Get. _Out_.” Tyler heard the muffled command.

 

Josh was lying sprawled on his belly across his bed, his face buried in a pillow.

 

The room was a mess, Tyler observed. Clothes strewn every which way, dirty plates and… was that a drum set buried beneath all those dirty towels?

 

“C’mon Josh, stop.”

 

Tyler heard Josh sigh and watched as his back deflated on the bed.

 

“I didn’t just do this for you.” Mark declared and Tyler felt his brows furrow in confusion at the statement.

 

“What?” Josh asked, picking his head up from the pillow so he could be heard clearly.

 

“Ok, yes, I wanted to get you some sort of help… I mean, I can’t be here all the time to clean up after you. Neither can Debby… or  your mom… _or-_ ”

 

“Okay!” Josh yelled. He dug his face into the pillow once more, knocking his hat loose on his head, “What’s your point?” Was his muffled reply.

 

“My point is you need help. But I had no idea who to turn to… then I thought of, well, y’know… him. And Tyler needs your help too.”

 

Tyler frowned and glanced up at Mark, _what did that mean?_

 

Josh sat up, his hat tumbling off his shoulders, “Why… what happened to him?” For the first time his voice was soft. Tyler liked the sound of it.

 

“Well, I don’t really know. He doesn’t talk to me.” Mark gave Tyler a sad look and the latter glanced away, confused as to why they were talking about him in this manner.

 

“When I got him his ribs were fractured,” Mark continued, “He’s still healing. So let him sleep for a while. Maybe give him something other than Taco Bell. I can come by to help if it’s too much for you-”

 

“No,” Josh hurried to say, “I can handle it.”

 

Tyler wanted to speak up, wanted to yell at them for talking about him like a kicked puppy. He was the slave here, he was here to take care of his Master not the other way around.

 

“Alright, so I gotta go then.” Mark said and Tyler’s heart thudded in his throat. He didn’t want to be left alone with his Master, he wasn’t ready. Mark was familiar, Josh wasn’t.

 

Tyler watched helplessly as Mark said goodbye and left. The front door shut and the house became quiet.

 

“Um,” Josh cleared his throat, “Tyler? Was it?”

 

Tyler mentally prepared himself before slowly kneeling at Josh’s feet, his ribs protesting, “Whatever pleases my Master.” He breathed.

 

A hand hesitantly found Tyler’s head, then his shoulder, “Tyler’s good. And um, please, none of that Master stuff, call me Josh.” Josh’s hand fell away, “And, I’m sorry. About before. I just… I’m just…really uncomfortable with the whole… slave… thing. And my life has been kind of a mess lately…”

 

Tyler nodded before forgetting Josh couldn’t see the movement.

 

“Anyway,” Josh stood and Tyler used the bed to get up too, grunting as he did so.

 

“Oh! Sorry,” His Master was saying, “I forgot already, your ribs. Do you want to lie down? Did Mark show you where the guest room is? Can you make it there?”

 

Tyler was thrown by the string of concerned questions coming out of Josh’s mouth. Master’s had never asked him if he'd wanted anything before and he didn’t understand what was going on.

 

“You’d… like for me to rest, Mas- uh, sir?”

 

“Well, if you want to…” Josh said and Tyler didn’t know if that was an order or not. His side throbbed though and he decided it was.

 

“Thank you, sir.” Tyler said before making his way to the guest bedroom and lying down, his mind spinning in circles.

 

|-/

 

Once he heard the guest bedroom door shut Josh groaned and cursed out Mark a couple times in his head.

 

But, he knows how he’s been… Mark was just trying to help. Still though, a _slave_? That’s what he came up with?

 

Josh rubbed at his face, fingers scratching at the growth on his jaw. He hated shaving now. It took forever since he couldn’t use the mirror anymore.

 

He dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Turning it on, Josh spoke into it, “Call Debby.”

 

It rang a few times before Debby’s honey-sweet voice answered, “Hello Josh.”

 

“Hey Debby,” Josh found himself smiling into the phone, just the sound of her voice soothed him, “Can we talk?”

 

“Of course, something wrong?” He heard her concern, and the last thing he wanted was to worry her.

 

“No, no, not like that. But… um, well. Mark... did a thing.”

 

“What did he do now?” She growled and Josh grinned at the bite in her voice. He pictured her frowning, the cute little lines it made between her eyebrows. Josh tried to shake the image away, it only made him depressed to try and remember what things looked like. They were always different now.

 

“Well… he um, he…” God this was awkward to say out loud, “bought me a slave.”

 

The line was quiet and for a moment Josh thought they disconnected, “Debby?”

 

“Yeah, I’m here, I’m just … he did what?”

 

“Yeah,” Josh sighed, “Trying to help me, or something.”

 

The line was quiet again.

 

“Deb?”

 

“Actually, I think it’s a good idea.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m a little angry I didn’t think of it myself now,” She was saying and Josh was still trying to process,

 

“How is this going to help me?”

 

“Ok, well… ok, so it’s like, you know those little fish that clean shark’s teeth?”

 

Josh frowned, “What?”

 

“You know, um, I can’t remember what it’s called but the little fish, they eat the food between the shark’s teeth and in return the shark gets his teeth cleaned. It’s like a win-win.”

 

Josh rubbed his temples, frustration giving him a headache, “So am I the shark or the little fish?”

 

“I don’t know, that’s not the point!” She quipped and Josh chuckled, “The _point_ is, you’ll help each other.”

 

“But I don’t need any-”

 

“When was the last time you ate something other than takeout and Redbull?”

 

“Uhh…”

 

“Last time you showered?”

 

“Yesterday? I think.”  
  
“Washed a dish?”

 

Josh huffed into the phone, “Okay so I’m a slob, we’ve established that, but how am I going to help a slave?”

 

“Josh.” Debby’s tone was patronizing and Josh sighed. Right. Dumb question.

 

“Yeah, I know. But, I feel like it’s a job that’s way over my head. I can barely take care of myself… uh, according to you guys, and I have no idea what he’s been through. He could be a basketcase, you know, Mark could have brought someone dangerous into my home.”

 

“Did he seem-”

 

“No.” Josh cut her off before she could grow alarmed, “No. He’s… quiet. Afraid of me, I think.”

 

“Aww,” Debby cooed sadly, “Poor thing.”

 

“I don’t even know where to start, Deb.”

 

“I’d start with food,” She said thoughtfully, “That’s how I got Doctor to trust me.”

 

“Doctor is your cat.”

 

“People like food, too.” Debby countered and Josh laughed. True.

 

“Maybe I’ll start there, then.” Josh said, “Thanks, Deb.”

 

“Anytime, Joshie.” His nose wrinkled at the nickname, “Keep me updated, kay?”

 

“Sure thing. Bye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

Josh sat on his bed for a moment and thought about what Debby had said. A win-win, huh? Maybe.

 

He tapped his phone again and said as clearly as he could, “Call Marco’s.”

 

|-/

 

Tyler woke to a knock on the door.

 

“Come in,” He called a little uncertainly.

 

The knob turned and the door slowly pushed open, Josh was standing there with a white takeout box in his hand. Something delicious smelling wafted into the room and Tyler eyed the box hungrily.

 

“Thought you might want something to eat,” Josh offered and his hand slid along the wall as he made his way over to the side of the bed.

 

Tyler sat up and took the box from him, it was warm against his palms and he could feel his mouth watering at the smell.

 

Josh was retracing his steps slowly back to the door, “It’s ah, it’s chicken carbonara from this place called Marco’s,” He bent down and picked up something from the hallway, “They have awesome food and they deliver so it’s easy…” Josh had a water bottle and a plastic fork in his hand, Tyler saw, and he watched as his Master used the wall again to make his way back to the bed, setting the items on Tyler’s nightstand.

 

“Anyway, hope you’re hungry.”

 

He started to leave again and Tyler felt his mouth open and shut before he settled on, “Thank you, sir.”

 

Josh stopped, his back to Tyler and his hand on the doorknob, “You’re welcome.” He said before walking out and shutting Tyler alone in the room.

 

Tyler’s stomach growled as he opened the box. Steam rose in his face and Tyler fought back the urge to cry at such a beautiful meal.

 

 

He had managed to eat about a quarter of the chicken and pasta before his stomach felt ready to burst. Tyler moaned and dropped his fork in the box, shutting it closed so he wouldn’t have to look at it anymore.

 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten that well.

 

Tyler groaned as he threw his legs over the bed and struggled to stand. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this full.

 

Mark had fed him well, but he’d given him small portions. Something about his stomach needing to adjust.

 

I guess it made sense, ‘cause all he wanted to do now was throw up.

 

Tyler took the rest of his food and made his way downstairs into the kitchen where he shoved it into the fridge along with a bunch of other leftovers that looked like they needed to be thrown out.

 

Tyler pawed at a carton of some sort of Chinese chicken that smelled like a dead animal before deciding to toss it into the trash. There were a couple more boxes and cartons of takeout that looked long over do and he got rid of them as well. Tyler also threw out some expired milk, moldy cheese, questionable looking oranges, rotten turkey slices, expired yogurt, an expired jar of pickles, some green tinted bagels and a bag of brown lettuce.

 

Basically all that was left was condiments after that. And the chicken carbonara Tyler couldn’t finish.

 

He quickly searched for some paper towels and cleaner and took to wiping out the grime and the spilled … _whatever…_ mystery stains from the refrigerator before going through the rest of the kitchen and throwing out all the empty cans of Redbull and bottles of Yoohoo.

 

Tyler grunted as he lifted the full trash bag out of the bin and hissed the moment he felt a pain jab him in his side. He took a moment to breathe and regain control before dragging the trash out into the garage. When he stepped back into the kitchen, holding his side and wheezing, Josh was standing in the hallway, his head tilted in Tyler’s direction.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Tyler froze, “Uh, sorry sir, I just… I was cleaning?”

 

Josh took a few measured steps forward before his hand reached out and landed on the kitchen table, “Oh.”

 

“I haven’t finished though sir, I’ll get right to it,” Tyler bent down to pick up an empty cereal box and hissed when pain lanced through his side.

 

“Hey,” Josh sounded alarmed, “Stop. I don’t want you cleaning right now. You need to rest.”

 

Tyler was holding his side, breathing through his nose and Josh was inching along the kitchen floor with his arm held out.

 

“Okay,” Tyler consented and slowly straightened before making his way to Josh.

 

Hesitantly, he took Josh’s arm and felt the later jumped at the contact, “Sorry sir,” He quickly said and dropped his arm but Josh reached for him again,

 

“No, I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to… it’s fine.”

 

Tyler let his fingers rest gently in the crook of Josh’s elbow and he led him back upstairs before stopping at his Master’s bedroom.

 

“Thanks.” Josh said quietly, so quietly that had it not been for the fact that Tyler was standing so close to him he wouldn’t have heard it.

 

“Yessir.” Tyler mumbled.

 

“Please call me Josh,” Josh said and Tyler felt himself flush. He shouldn’t have to be told twice, but it was a hard request to follow.

 

“Yes-” Tyler bit his tongue on the ‘sir’ that almost slipped out, “ _Josh_.” He amended and watched Josh smile.

 

“Get some rest,” Josh said before turning into his bedroom and shutting the door.

 

Tyler went back to the guest bedroom and laid down, covering himself in soft blankets.

 

|-/

 

Josh’s alarm went off and he slapped at the side of the bed until the damn thing shut up. He couldn’t be too angry at it though, really. That alarm was the only thing that let him get a sense of time, well that and his facial hair.

 

Debby had set it up for him so that it went off every morning at eight and again every night at six. Morning time and dinner time. The only two times he really bothered with, anyway.

 

There was a button on the alarm clock so that he could press it and a robotic voice would tell him exactly what time it was, but he hated using it.

 

Just like he hated his voice activated phone and the stupid sensors Mark installed that beeped if a light was left on for more than six hours and his cane. He hated his damn cane.

 

He’d used it at the hospital during physical therapy sessions but the second he’d gotten home he’d chucked it somewhere in the garage, hoping to never have to use it again.

 

Mark and Debby had pestered him about it for a while as he stumbled around his own house, feet shuffling and hands reaching. He’d been embarrassed and ashamed and too damn proud so he’d cussed them out and told them it was his life and he’d do with it what he pleased.

 

Honestly, things hadn’t changed much since then. He still carried too much pride and it wasn’t getting him anywhere.

 

Although, when Tyler had guided him through the house last night, that had been the first time he’d let anybody help him since the hospital.

 

Josh stretched and yawned before making his way out of bed and down to the kitchen. He contemplated making himself something to eat.

 

The idea scared him. He pictured himself leaving the stove top on or spilling milk all over the floor or burning his hand on a pot or…

 

Shaking his head, Josh squashed out the images and walked over to the refrigerator. Suddenly, something was in his path, tripping him and making him reach blindly for any kind of support.

 

The trash can fell over and Josh followed in a clumsy sprawl on top of it, his elbow smacking against the laminate wood floor before he rolled and the bottom corner of the cabinet connected painfully between his shoulder blades.

 

“ _Fuck_!” Josh yelled, more angry and embarrassed than anything else. Who the fuck moved the trash can?

 

Josh covered his face and breathed, fighting back screams or tears or something. He couldn’t tell.

 

A door closed upstairs and Josh stilled, listening. Maybe Tyler was just going to the bathroom. Maybe he hadn’t heard.

 

Hesitant steps started their way down the stairs and Josh growled in his throat, hurriedly picking himself up off the ground and righting the trash can.

 

He heard the floor creak as Tyler came to a stop at the entrance to the kitchen, “Sir- uh, I mean, Josh? Are you okay-”

 

“I’m _fine_." Josh bit out and felt his fists clenching and unclenching at his side.

 

“Okay.” Tyler said quietly, “Would you like me to make you something to-”

 

“Just don’t move my shit, okay?” Josh interrupted with malice and immediately felt like an ass. He wanted to take it back but his tongue wasn’t listening and instead he found himself saying, “What are you even doing down here? I told you to stay in your room.”

 

What was he saying? Stop it!

 

He heard Tyler’s rapid retreat upstairs and Josh buried his face in his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened his mouth wide, feeling his jaw and neck muscles tighten uncomfortably as he let out a silent scream, fingernails digging into his hairline.

 

Josh sagged against the kitchen counter and felt a sob well in his throat. What was wrong with him? Why was he such an awful person?

 

|-/

 

Tyler shut the door to the guest bedroom behind him and leaned against it, his pulse racing. God, he couldn’t do _anything_ right! He hated this, Tyler thought to himself and it became an ugly mantra in his head, _I_ hate _this! I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!_

He didn’t understand his place here. He knew what should be expected of him but it didn’t seem to matter here. Josh had given him his own room, his own _bed_. Mark had too… and he’d been told by both of them to stay in bed and rest. He’d been allowed to eat more food in the last week than he’d eaten in the three weeks previous combined.

 

Mark had told him he was supposed to be taking care of his new Master, clean the house, cook the meals… other things too he suspected. Eventually.

 

But for now he had a relatively short and simple job here and somehow he was already fucking it up. His Master was giving him so many mixed signals. One day he was allowed to help and the next day he was screamed at for suggesting it.

 

And what was that Mark was talking about? About _Josh_ taking care of _him_? None of it made sense.

 

None of it made any sense and Tyler just wished someone would tell him what he was supposed to be doing.

 

Sighing, Tyler sat back down on the bed and stared at the closed blinds over the window. He didn’t know if he was allowed to open them or not. He didn’t know anything he was allowed to do in this house.

 

He felt trapped.


	3. Chapter 3

Josh spent about an hour tracing the steps of his kitchen while he thought about what to do with Tyler.

 

He was wholly unprepared with how to handle a slave. The notion of being waited on or served in anyway had been uncomfortable for him when he could see. Now it was one-hundred times harder since the accident and all anybody was ever doing was waiting on him.

 

He figured he needed to at least apologize to Tyler and so Josh made his way upstairs and to the guest bedroom. He paused outside the door though and frowned, was Tyler talking to himself? Josh leaned in closer and listened through the wood.

 

No, not talking, he realized, Tyler was singing.

 

_“I am cold, can you hear?_  
  


_I will fly with no hope, no fear_

_And the ground taunts my wings,_

_Plummet as I sing, plummet as I…”_

Tyler trailed off and Josh continued to listen but it was only silent on the other side of the door.

 

God, he’d sounded so mournful and heartbreaking, yet so beautiful at the same time. It left an ache in his chest he didn’t want to think about.

 

Josh knocked lightly, using the backs of his knuckles. He heard some shuffling before the door creaked open.

 

“Yessir-uh Josh?”

 

Josh turned his face away and cleared his throat, “I, um, I heard you singing.”

 

Suddenly, Tyler was apologizing, “Sorry, sir- uh Josh, I mean. I’m sorry, it won't happen again-”

 

“No, no.” Josh hurried to say and faced Tyler’s voice, “It was…” _amazing, beautiful, haunting_ , “…Where did you hear it?”

 

There was hesitancy in Tyler’s voice when he said, “Nowhere. I- I made it up.”

 

Josh felt his eyebrows raise, “Wow. It’s really good.”

 

“Thanks.” Tyler whispered.

 

Josh scratched at his thumb, all of a sudden he felt like he was six years old again and his mom was making him apologize to the boy next door for biting him and stealing his toys, “I’m sorry,” Josh croaked, “for freaking out on you downstairs.”

 

It was quiet. Tyler smelled like sour sweat and sleep. Josh briefly wondered when the last time he showered was.

 

“It’s this whole …adjusting thing. And that I’m not doing it.” Josh said and realized he wasn’t making sense, “I don’t know what Mark told you but I wasn’t always like this,” He motioned vaguely to his face, his eyes, “I was in a car accident about a year ago. The doctors told me I suffered blunt force trauma to the head, which caused swelling in my brain and it put too much pressure on my optic nerves or something…” Josh shrugged. He’d heard the medical jargon spiel a hundred times but it didn’t change the fact that he’d never see again.

 

“Anyway,” He continued when Tyler said nothing, “basically it makes me an asshole and I’m sorry.”

 

Tyler was still quiet and Josh wished he could see his face.

 

“Don’t be afraid to talk to me, by the way,” Josh said, “I don’t know what you’ve been told by other… um, You can say anything in front of me.”

 

Josh heard Tyler shift before he said, “Could you… tell me the rules?”

 

“The rules?” Josh frowned.

 

Tyler’s voice shook, “Yes, um, like, what am I allowed to do or where am I not allowed to go… What tasks are expected of me each day or …or what preferences did you have for when we…”

 

Josh could have kicked himself for not letting Tyler know sooner that he really didn’t _expect_ him to do anything, and that he could do whatever he wanted. He suddenly wondered if this was why Tyler had a funky smell, did he not realize he was _allowed_ to use the shower?  
  
Josh frowned as he realized what else Tyler had just said, “Wait, when we?”

 

“…when we …w-when _you_ … use me.” Tyler stuttered and Josh felt sick.

 

“Tyler,” he said carefully and backed up a step just to make sure he was being clear, “I don’t want you for that. For _any_ of… that. I don’t expect you to do anything you don’t want to do. And I swear to God I will _never..._ ” He swallowed, "You have free will in this house, ok? You can go where you want to go you can do whatever you want to do. If you want to grab a hammer and start smashing holes in the walls I wouldn’t give a shit.”

 

“…S-seriously?” Tyler asked and Josh smiled,

 

“Seriously. Look, I’m not going to _expect_ anything from you, but I would hope that maybe we could become friends? And if I ever freak out on you again feel free to freak out back. Sometimes I need to hear it.”

 

“Okay.” Was all Tyler said.

 

Josh really wished he could see right then.

 

“Oh, and, you _can_ take a shower, in fact, you should. Blind guys have a good sense of smell.” He tapped his nose before making his way back to his own room and grinned when he heard Tyler sniffing.

 

|-/

 

As Tyler savored the fifth hot shower he’d had in a week he replayed Josh’s words in his head over and over and over again until he believed that he’d actually heard them.

 

Free will. Josh had given him free will.

 

Granted, he’d said ‘in this house’ and it was a figure of speech not an actual written document authorizing his freedom but Tyler didn’t care.

 

A part of him still felt paranoid and confused and didn’t want to believe or trust in anything Josh had to say.

 

But.

 

Josh had said he hoped they could be friends.

 

It was stupid and it could have been a complete bold-faced lie but Tyler couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a friend. And Josh seemed so… sincere. Tyler wanted to trust him.

 

He ducked his head under the spray and bit back a moan at the feeling of scalding water beating down on his shoulder blades. Tyler never wanted to go back to ice cold baths and hose water.

 

He finished and shut the water off before grabbing a clean towel and drying his hair. When Mark had dumped him here the other day he’d only left Tyler with a few choice things, a toothbrush, a stick of deodorant, an unopened bag of boxers and the clothes he’d been wearing – they had been Mark’s clothes.

 

Tyler hadn’t thought it odd at the time. He figured maybe Josh was going to be the type of Master that didn’t like him wearing clothes so why would he need any.

 

Now though, Tyler wondered what he should wear. He’d been in Mark’s clothes for a couple days and he definitely needed to wash them, lest he offend Josh’s nose.

 

Tyler tied the towel around his waist and left the bathroom. He grabbed Mark’s dirty clothes and made his way to the washer and dryer in the basement, on the way grabbing Josh’s dirty clothes that had been strewn about the floor.

 

He had about a full load from just what Josh had thrown around the house and Tyler quickly figured out the buttons on the machine before starting it.

 

He was shutting the basement door behind him when Tyler turned into the hallway and collided with Josh, knocking them both to the floor.

 

Tyler grunted as pain jolted through his ribs.

 

“Shit! Sorry!” Josh cried and reached out to help him stand, “Are you… are you wearing any clothes?”

 

“A towel.” Tyler panted, his side throbbed dully, “I just put in some laundry.”

 

“Oh,” Tyler watched Josh frown and felt a little guilty for being able to stare at him so openly, “You don’t have anything else to wear? You can wear some of my clothes. C’mon.” Josh motioned for him to follow and shuffled down the hallway, his fingers trailing along the wall.

 

When they were standing in his room, Josh rooted through his drawers and randomly pulled out some clothes, “Here.”

 

He handed Tyler a pair of black sweatpants and a dark blue shirt that said ‘Worlds Champions’.

 

“Hopefully that’s a shirt and pants,” Josh muttered and ran a hand through his messy hair.

 

“Yeah, they’re great. Thanks.”

 

Tyler slid the towel from his waist and put the proffered clothes on. They were a better fit than Mark’s.

 

Josh was chewing his lip and looking like he wanted to say something but Tyler was too afraid to ask. It wasn’t his place.

 

Then again with Josh, he didn’t really understand his place. Not yet.

 

“I… I was just thinking.” Josh said and Tyler stilled, apprehensive of Josh’s thoughts, “I don’t know what you look like.”

 

 

“Could you describe yourself to me?”

 

Describe himself? Jeez, what was there to describe? He was ordinary… plain even.

 

“Um, I have… brown hair?” Josh seemed to be waiting for more, “And… brown eyes?”

 

“…that’s it?”

 

Tyler shrugged before he remembered Josh couldn’t see the gesture, “I don’t know, sir- uh, Josh.”

 

“Well, what do you look like? Do you have a short forehead? A big nose? A chin dimple? What can you tell me?”

 

Tyler sighed, “Here,” He reached out and took Josh’s hand in his.

 

Josh flinched and Tyler waited to see if he’d pull away. When he didn’t, Tyler placed Josh’s hand on his cheek, “See for yourself.”

 

For a moment his hand didn't move and Tyler watched him swallow nervously before slowly, hesitantly, Josh’s fingers began to skim over Tyler’s face. The pad of his thumb was calloused as it swept over Tyler's cheekbone.

 

Tyler closed his eyes as Josh’s fingers gently brushed over the skin there, “You have long eyelashes,” Josh murmured.

 

The moment was oddly intimate, just the two of them breathing and Josh's careful fingers learning the curves and shapes of Tyler's face.

 

Josh's fingers trailed lower, tracing down the bridge of his nose and to the skin just above the corner of his lips when they stopped.

 

“It’s okay,” Tyler encouraged and those calloused fingers, _drums_ \- Tyler remembered, shyly touched his lips.

 

Tyler smiled, the feather-light touch tickling and he saw Josh smile in return, “What?”

 

“Tickles.” Tyler said beneath Josh’s fingers.

 

“Am I interrupting something here?” Debby asked and Tyler and Josh both jumped in surprise, Josh quickly taking his hand away.

 

“You know, for a blind guy, your hearing sucks. I knocked like ten times.”

 

Tyler took in the girl leaning in the doorframe. She was small and curvy with long wavy red hair and gorgeous full lips.

 

“Hi, I’m Debby. You must be Tyler.” She strode into the room and stuck out her hand. Warily, Tyler shook it.

 

“That shirt looks better on you,” Debby announced and Tyler heard Josh huff, “Anyway, I come bearing gifts. Food – real food. Tyler, wanna help me bring them in?”

 

Already she reminded him of Josh and Mark. She wasn’t quite commanding him, but _asking_ him if he wanted to help. What was it with these people?

 

He followed her outside and to a little green car with a rounded top. Tyler couldn’t remember what these cars were called. Some kind of bug, he thought.

 

She opened up the back door and pulled out a bag of groceries and Tyler felt his eyes widen at what he saw lying on the backseat.

 

“You have a ukulele?” he blurted before he could stop himself.

 

Debby gave him a goofy look and picked it up, “Yeah, I was helping my Dad clean out his garage and we found it. He said I could have it, I figured I’d just pawn it.”

 

Tyler felt his face fall and Debby laughed, it was a warm and sweet sound, “I don’t have to. If you want it you can have it.”

 

She held it out for him and Tyler’s fingers twitched, “Seriously?”

 

“Seriously.” She wiggled it at him and gingerly he took it.

 

Tyler cradled it against his chest before stroking a few strings into a little tune. The sound almost brought tears to his eyes.

 

“Where’d you learn how to play?”

 

The question didn’t surprise Tyler, but Debby’s tone did. It wasn’t shocked or accusatory. It was just simply curious. Again, she reminded him of Josh and Mark. They talked to him like a person rather than a slave.

 

“My first Master was very musical. He taught me how to play a lot of instruments.”

 

She picked up another bag of groceries from the car and perched it on her hip, “You’ll be good for Josh then. Be sure to use that around him,” she nodded to the ukulele, “He could use a reminder.”

 

Tyler tucked the ukulele carefully under his arm and grabbed the last bag of groceries, noticing she'd left him the lightest bag. Peering inside, all Tyler saw was bread, lettuce and deli meats.

 

"He used to play the drums,” Debby explained, “After the accident though… I mean, it’s not like you need to see them to hit them, right? Especially not for Josh, he knew his set like the back of his hand.”

 

They carried the bags inside and set them on the kitchen table. Josh was leaning against the wall by the fridge.

 

Debby started unloading the groceries into the refrigerator, “Jeez, what have you been eating? There’s nothing in here but leftovers from Marco’s.”

 

“That’s Tyler’s,” Josh shrugged.

 

“Alright, I’m making you dinner.”

 

Josh started to protest, “You don’t have to do that-”

 

She reached out and smacked him on the nose, making him jump, “Yes, I do. Tyler’s on bed rest, I know I talked to Mark, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you make anything other than cereal and bagel bites.”

 

Rubbing his nose, Josh pouted, “Fine, if it makes you happy.”

 

Debby grinned triumphantly, "Don't worry, I'll make your favorite."

 

Josh's face lit up and to Tyler it made him look years younger, "Tacos?"

 

Laughing, Debby nodded, "Yes, but you have to go make yourself look presentable."

 

Josh frowned, "Do I have to shave?"

 

"Tyler can help you." Debby said without a beat and Josh looked panicked for a moment.

 

|-/

 

They were both standing in the upstairs bathroom, Josh awkwardly scratching at his stubble.

 

"So, um. You ever shave anyone before?" God that sounded weird, "Or... I mean... y'know." Josh waved his hand dumbly in the air, at a loss for words.

 

"Yes," Tyler said quietly, "I won't hurt you."

 

"Oh, that's not what I... I know you wont. I trust you." Josh chewed on his lip for a moment, "Uh, where do you want me?"

 

Josh felt Tyler's hands pushing him backwards until his calves touched the cold porcelain side of his bathtub. Obediently, he sat and then felt a towel draped over his chest.

 

He felt Tyler moving around him, he smelled good, like vanilla and coconut.

 

The motor on his buzzer started and Tyler's fingers were gently tilting his face. Josh could feel the heat of Tyler this close to him, his breathing and his body warmth and it was oddly comforting.

 

Tyler worked quickly and before Josh knew it he was done.

 

Josh ran his fingers over his face, smooth.

 

"Do I look like a twelve year old again?" He asked Tyler and was that a laugh he heard?

 

"How do you like it, ss... Josh?"

 

"It feels great. Thanks." He knew Tyler was still stopping himself from using the 's' word, but to Josh it felt like his name was just a replacement word for some sort of title he didn't deserve.

 

On cue, Debby called them down for dinner.

 

 

"Wow, Joshie," Debby said as soon as they'd entered the kitchen, Tyler's hand guiding Josh's elbow and Josh suddenly felt ashamed. He prepared himself for her to ask just why the hell Tyler was allowed to help him walk and she wasn't?

 

But all she said was, "I can't remember the last time I've seen your face."

 

Tyler led him to a chair at the kitchen table, "Hey, same." Josh joked and Debby went quiet.

 

It was silent for a moment, Josh listened to Tyler and Debby move around the kitchen before he said, "Sorry, that was-"

 

"No, it's..." Debby's voice was right beside him and the smell of spicy ground beef met his nose, "It's actually nice to hear you make a joke about it."

 

They sat and ate together, Debby doing most of the talking while Josh concentrated on not making an idiot of himself as he felt around for his food. Thankfully, no one seemed to care when he used his fingers to scoop rice into his spoon. He wasn't used to eating with company.

 

Josh was so concentrated on trying to get food into his mouth without making a mess that he missed the part where they decided it was time to play musical instruments.

 

Someone was playing a ...ukulele?

 

Josh wiped his fingers on his gym shorts, "What's that?"

 

"Tyler." Debby simply said and they listened as he played a sweet little tune.

 

The music stopped and Tyler quietly spoke, "If it bothers you, I won't play it, I just-"

 

"No," Josh interrupted, "I love it. Where'd you get it?"

 

"I gave it to him," Debby piped and suddenly Josh was reminded of the nightingale fairy tale where the little singing bird is caged and forced to sing every night.

 

In his head, Josh could hear Tyler singing the sad song from the other day with the rattle-clank of chains sliding over wood.

 

Josh violently shook the thought from his mind.

 

"Josh?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"I said I gotta get going. Jenna and I were meeting up at the mall."

 

"Oh. Okay. Thanks for dinner." Josh stood and hugged Debby, her small frame warm and comfortable in his arms.

 

"Anytime. I'll see you later, alright? Call me? And Tyler, it was nice to meet you."

 

"It was nice to meet you too, Debby." Tyler said softly.

 

Debby leaned in and gave Josh another hug, whispering in his ear as she did, "You be good to him, Dun."

 

He nodded earnestly and she gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I like kissing you without the stubbles." She said, a smile in her voice, before turning and leaving.

 

|-/

 

That night Tyler sat up in bed and played around with the ukulele... _his_ ukulele. He could barely remember the last time he'd owned something in his life and he wanted to cry over the fact that _this_ was _his_. And Josh was okay with him playing it.

 

Tyler bit back the stupid smile that was splitting his face and strummed an upbeat little song. It was one he'd made up a long time ago for his mom. She was the one person he knew had loved him and Tyler was astounded and overwhelmed at the very idea that anyone in this world had actually loved him.

 

He played for hours before falling asleep with the ukulele cradled in his arms.

 

 

When he woke the next morning and opened the door Tyler startled at the sight of Josh lying curled in front of his door like the sleeping dragon guarding his castle's keep.

 

Tyler crouched down, Josh's back was to him. For a moment, his eyes traced the lines of Josh's colorful tattoo and it saddened him. In a sense, it was the epitome of sight. It was a vision of nature, ideal and vibrant and all Tyler could think was how that whole world had been stolen away from Josh.

 

Closing his eyes, Tyler tried to imagine what it must be like to live in darkness.

 

It was lonely, he thought. And confining. Huh. He could relate.

 

Tyler opened his eyes and laid his hand on Josh's shoulder, gently shaking him awake. He thought of how scary it must've been the first time Josh opened his eyes to nothing.

 

Beneath him, Josh inhaled noisily and yawned before rolling onto his stomach and burying his head into his arms with a grunt, "Wha?"

 

"Josh?"

 

Slowly, Josh pushed himself up to his hands and knees, groaning the whole time. Tyler sympathized, the floor was never comfortable.

 

"Why are you on the floor?"

 

Josh sat back on his heels and dug his palms into his eyes, "I dunno. I was listening to you play. Then I fell asleep."

 

"Oh."

 

Josh just grinned at the carpet, "You're really good."

 

"You could have come in..." Tyler muttered, not quite wanting to invite Josh into a bedroom with him but he felt bad about him falling asleep outside the door like a dog.

 

Josh shrugged, "Didn't want to impose, I guess."

 

"Oh." Tyler said again.

 

They sat in silence. Josh's face was tilted up and Tyler imagined him outside, sitting in the grass and feeling the warmth of the sun on his skin.

 

"Tyler?" he didn't wait for Tyler to answer him, "Do you think everything happens for a reason?"

 

The question caught him off guard and Tyler took a moment to think before saying, "Yes. I do."

 

"How can you think that?" The question was thrown a little sharper than Tyler had expected, "I mean, you're a slave."

 

Tyler felt himself flinch at the word and shook it off, "Maybe this is where I'm supposed to be though. Maybe my entire life is leading me to one moment, to one thought or action that will give my life purpose."

 

Josh's face crumpled, "You don't think your life has purpose?"

 

"Does yours?" The words escaped before Tyler had a chance to think about them and instantly his eyes grew wide, heart skipping a beat. He hadn't meant for that to come out sounding cruel. His tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth as he waited for Josh's reaction.

 

Josh was quiet for a painfully long time before he began to stand from his spot on the floor and it was then that Tyler got his mouth to work.

 

"Sir, Josh, I didn't- I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I was just-"

 

Shaking his head, Josh raised a hand to stop Tyler from babbling useless words and shrugged, "No. You're right. I don't have a purpose. Not anymore."

 

Josh turned and walked away, shutting himself into his room and Tyler wanted to scream.


	4. Chapter 4

 

Tyler woke to the sound of Josh banging loudly on his bedroom door. After this morning he had run into his room and shut the door like a coward, not even beginning to know how he would fix what he'd done. He hadn't meant for it to come out and sound so awful. It was a gut response, he had wanted to know what Josh thought his purpose was. Was it obvious? Should Tyler have known his own? Josh had sounded so upset by the idea he didn't think he'd had one and Tyler just wanted to _know_...

 

The banging on the door continued and Tyler prepared to face the worst.

 

Tyler was halfway to the door when it flung open and Josh almost sprawled in after it. He held on to the doorknob and managed to stay on his feet though.

 

"You." Josh declared and Tyler noted his eyes were bloodshot, "Where are you?"

 

"Josh?" Tyler said and Josh's head swiveled in his direction, his hands reaching for him.

 

"I jus' wanted to thank you." he was saying. Josh grabbed his arm and Tyler fought the urge to pull away, "For reminding me..." Tyler grimaced at the alcohol on his breath, "...how meaningless my life is."

 

"Josh, I didn't mean-" Tyler tried and Josh's grip turned bruising.

 

"Oh yes you did. You _meant._ "

 

"No, I-"

 

"If even a _slave_ can see jus' how ..useless! I've become.. then maybe I shouldn't be..." He sounded sober for a moment and his tone frightened Tyler.

 

Josh slumped, his butt missing the bed and falling to the floor, "I should just kill myself." He mumbled, "Should've done it then..."

 

"What?" Tyler looked down at his master and wondered if he'd heard the words correctly.

 

"Nothin'."

 

Tyler didn't know what to do. He'd never been in this position before. Josh was a mess, he needed Tyler's help. And Tyler actually _wanted_ to help.

 

He bent down and grabbed at Josh under the armpits before hauling him up onto the bed, his ribs protesting vehemently.

 

When Josh was on the bed, Tyler quickly rooted through his pockets until he found his phone. He tried the first name he recognized.

 

|-/

 

Josh groaned.

 

He wished he hadn't put the rest of the vodka in his freezer, but had carried it with him like a baby's bottle. Alcohol was making things fuzzy and he liked it that way.

 

Tyler was right. His life had no purpose.

 

Maybe it had, when he was doing the things he loved. But his life was different now. And he found he loved nothing.

 

Somebody was saying something to him and Josh covered his ears. _Lemme alone._

He was sick of his life. Sick of being helpless, sick of being nothing but a humiliation. And most of all, he was sick of forgetting.

 

A sob welled its way up his throat and Josh screamed until it went away.

 

Someone was touching him.

 

" _What_?" he spit and distantly he thought of Tyler. He shouldn't be yelling at Tyler. Tyler was a slave. Tyler was fragile.

 

" _Josh_!"

 

But that wasn't Tyler. That was Mark. What was Mark doing here?

 

"What are you doing? Tyler's freaking out, he thinks he did this to you."

 

Tyler is fragile.

 

"Josh, don't. He's right here."

 

Did he say that out loud? "What do you wan', Mark?"

 

"I thought we were passed this. Huh, Josh? I thought you were done with this bullshit."

 

Mark was pulling him up, dragging him across the room and Josh tried to dig his heels into the carpet, _stop!_

 

Eventually, Josh was dropped unceremoniously to the ground and the sound of running water met his ears.

 

Over the sound of the water, Mark was talking to him, "Why can't you get over this Josh? So you lost your sight. That doesn't mean you have to stop living!"

 

"You don't understand," he mumbled, having no idea if Mark could actually hear him.

 

"Then enlighten me." The water was shut off and Mark was yanking at his dead weight again, pulling him over cold tile.

 

"You don't understand." Josh said again. His tongue felt heavy and his mind cloudy and all he wanted to do was slip into the oblivion it was offering him.

 

Suddenly, ice cold water was enveloping him and the cloudiness in his mind fled like a jack rabbit with a dog on its heels.

 

His hands groped for the lip of the tub and Josh pulled himself up as much as he could, " _Fuck_!"

 

He felt his senses come back to him sharper and clearer, pushing their way through the shroud of vodka and he wanted to hit Mark square in the face for pulling him out of that blessed fog.

 

"What don't I understand?" Mark yelled from somewhere above him and Josh shivered in the water, "Hey! Talk to me. What is it about your life that is so bad you resort to this shit, huh?"

 

Josh could remember the last time Mark sounded this angry. It had been in the first month or two after the accident and he was having to relearn how to do _everything_  in his life.

 

It had been after he'd tried to end it all.

 

Josh squeezed his eyes shut and tried in vain to forget that shameful period of his life.

 

" _Josh_!"

 

"I don't remember!" Josh cried hoarsely and Mark started to ask,

 

"You don't remember? What-"

 

Wrapping his arms around himself, Josh felt the words rip from his throat, "I don't remember what my mom looks like." Mark fell quiet and Josh's own words became deafeningly loud to him, "I can't remember her face. Not really. It's not clear... Debby's... yours... everyone's blurry. Everyone's face is different than what it was." He felt his throat tighten against his words, "I don't remember what color my old room was painted. Or how t-tall the tree house was in my back y-yard." He was trembling, but Josh had no idea if it was from the cold water or something else, "How fucked up is th-that, Mark? What memories I have... they're f-fading."

 

Josh ignored the hot tears that trailed down his face, "I don't want to forget."

 

"Josh..."

 

That was all Mark said before he was lifting Josh from the tub. Mark helped undress him and another pair of hands wrapped him in a dry towel and Josh realized Tyler must have been there the whole time, too.

 

He was led to his bedroom where he plopped heavily onto the bed, feeling tired and heavy.

 

"Josh, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through," Mark was telling him, and Josh had heard this speech before, "But don't forget that you're not alone. You have friends that care about you, Josh, please, you can always talk to us."

 

Josh half tuned Mark out. He knew he meant well but, he was right, he would never understand what Josh was going through and that right there was what stopped him from 'talking about it'.

 

He _was_ alone.

 

Josh rolled over and put his back to Mark, "Just remember that, Josh?"

 

Josh grunted something that sounded like an agreement before he listened to Mark stand and walk to the door where he heard him say, "Thanks for calling me. Let him sleep it off... let me know if it gets worse. Just, keep an eye on him? Try not to leave him alone too long."

 

Assuming Tyler nodded, Josh listened until Mark closed the front door and was gone.

 

Josh shut his eyes.

 

|-/

 

Tyler just watched Josh breathe on the bed for a while before he decided to say something, "You're not alone."

 

Josh sighed and after a while his voice croaked, "Why?"

 

"I know what you're going through."

 

Josh stilled before sitting up and facing Tyler with a black look on his face, "What?"

 

"I know, that's not what I'm supposed to say and that's not what you want to hear. But, I do." Tyler took a deep breath before continuing, "My mom died when I was fourteen. And then I was seized by the government and sold into slavery. My life changed in a day."

 

Josh was silent.

 

"I had to relearn how to live my life. Serving my Master was my ...purpose." Tyler felt himself cringe at his own word, "I was beaten if I didn't listen, whipped if I disobeyed. I was taught to please men with my body."

 

Josh's face turned into a scowl of disgust and Tyler watched his fists clench in the bed sheets.

 

"But that's not the worst of it. The worst of it is knowing I'll never see my mother again. My old life was meaningless to everyone but me. Maybe that's my purpose? Not to serve men, but to be the one person in this whole world to remember what a beautiful being my mother was. Memories fade, Josh, but only if you let them."

 

Tyler turned and left the room, his own words burning on his tongue. He rushed down the stairs and through the kitchen before throwing open the back door and collapsing onto the porch.

 

God it had felt liberating to say those things but talking about them just brought on all the memories of abuse and violence in his past. The problem for Tyler wasn't forgetting things, it was remembering them.

 

|-/

 

It was a long time before Josh was able to face Tyler again.

 

When he did, Tyler was in the kitchen, shuffling some papers around.

 

"Tyler?"

 

He heard the sudden creak the chair made under Tyler's jolt.

 

"Sorry. What are you doing?"

 

Tyler was quiet for a moment before he responded, "Writing."

 

"Writing?"

 

"A song."

 

"A song?" Josh felt like a parrot.

 

"For you."

 

"For-" He swallowed the word down, "Can I hear it?"

 

"It's not finished."

 

"Oh."

 

Josh had originally come to say he was sorry. He was sorry Tyler had such a terrible life. He was sorry that people ever treated him as less than human. He was sorry that no one had saved him sooner. He was sorry for letting his own fucked up life blind him from Tyler's.

 

But now that he was here, he didn't quite know how to say it.

 

"Tyler-"

 

"I'm sorry," Tyler said and beat him to the punch, "I didn't mean to complain about my life to you. It's not my place."

 

"Yes, it is. Tyler, your life is your life and you can bitch about it all you want. You have every damn right to." Josh felt his voice rising, "If I ever got my hands on anyone that ever mistreated you in any shape or form I'd kill them." He'd never meant what he'd said more than he did that moment.

 

"Oh." Was Tyler's response.

 

Josh sat down at the table with Tyler and sighed, "Our lives are pretty fucked up, huh?"

 

Tyler huffed a bitter laugh.

 

A semi-comfortable silence fell between them before Tyler said, "It's better ..with you."

 

"Hmm?" Josh frowned.

 

"Life... my life. It's better with you."

 

"Oh." And Josh felt his cheeks grow warm. A bubble of admiration bloomed in his chest and Josh responded, "Mine is too."

 

He must have been grinning like a dork but thankfully Tyler said nothing about it.

 

|-/

 

Tyler had spent the rest of his day with Josh. It was weird, the man was his master but Tyler associated none of the vile traits from his previous masters with Josh. Josh was... Tyler smiled but couldn't quite think of a word. Josh was something.

 

They mostly just sat and talked. Josh told him a little bit about the accident, but mostly he told Tyler stories from before the accident. Josh looked ten times happier and five years younger when he talked about his life before and it brought a pain to Tyler's heart he didn't understand.

 

"Why don't you play them anymore?" Tyler found himself asking. The way Josh talked about playing his drums, about his music so passionately, it didn't make sense why he stopped.

 

A sad little smile played on Josh's lips and he shrugged, "I don't know. I just... haven't felt like it."

 

"Maybe we could play together," Tyler said and surprised himself.

 

Josh grinned in response, "Maybe."

 

They were sitting in Josh's unused living room, the television sitting dark and dusty in the corner. They had started out at opposite ends of the couch but over the past hour Tyler noticed they were now barely a foot apart.

 

It was comfortable, sitting with Josh. He brought a sense of peace and security Tyler couldn't remember having since before he was a slave.

 

"Tyler?" Josh interrupted his thoughts, "How... if you don't mind me asking? How many, uh, owners have you had?"

 

"Three." Tyler felt his skin prickle, suddenly not liking the turn in conversation. He didn't want to think about that life with Josh. Josh made him forget.

 

Josh's eyebrows were furrowed, "And... how many of them ...hurt you?"

 

Tyler wanted to avoid this subject badly, "Hurt me how?"

 

Sighing, Josh shook his head, "I don't know... it's not really my business, is it?"

 

He could tell he was upsetting Josh but he didn't know what to do. What to say.

 

"They all did."

 

And Josh looked devastated, "How? I don't... I don't understand that." his voice was thick.

 

"You didn't." Tyler hurried to say.

 

"I think I did," Josh covered his face and mumbled into his hands, "I remember grabbing you... after I'd been drinking."

 

Tyler's hand covered the spot on his arm where he remembered Josh's fingers digging in, "That's hardly hurting me."

 

"God, it doesn't matter, I shouldn't have... I'm just as bad as the others aren't I?" Josh uncovered his face and Tyler noted his eyes were glossy.

 

"No," Tyler hurried to say, he couldn't believe Josh could possibly think he was like the others, "You talk to me like a real person. You ask me things instead of ordering, you gave me a bed, you let me shower, you-"

 

"Jesus," Josh cut him off, "Those things shouldn't be _special_ Tyler, that's just normal. That _should_ be normal."

 

Tyler bit his lip, not knowing what to say. Everything he said seemed to upset Josh more.

 

"Mark said your ribs were fractured?"

 

God, Tyler just wanted Josh to drop it.

 

"Was that from your previous..."

 

"A handler did it." Tyler said and a dark look crossed Josh's features.

 

"What? Why? How could they be allowed to-"

 

"I tried to run." Tyler cut him off and felt his throat close. Maybe that wasn't something he should be saying to the man that owned him.

 

But Josh's only reaction was, "Oh." and Tyler didn't quite know what to make of that.

 

|-/

 

Josh laid awake in bed that night, his thoughts on Tyler. It was strange, adjusting to life with a roommate after he'd been alone for so long. But Tyler was comforting to have around and Josh couldn't put his finger on why.

 

They'd talked all day, well, mostly Josh talked _to_ Tyler all day. Still, it had been nice.

 

His mind kept bringing him back to times they'd touched and Josh could feel his cheeks grow hot when he replayed them in his head.

 

Tyler had been the first person he'd ever... face-read, if that's what he could call it. It was weird, touching someone's face he hardly knew, but he was grateful Tyler let him. It was the only way to get a sense of what Tyler looked like. Josh decided he was... very symmetrical.

 

Josh grinned to himself and replayed the memory on his fingertips again.

 

He liked Tyler's lips.

 

They were soft.

 

Josh was losing himself in the memories of Tyler's touch when he heard a shout down the hallway.

 

Alarmed, he sat up in bed and listened.

 

Clocks ticked and the house creaked.

 

Josh was starting to think he imagined the noise when suddenly Tyler was screaming.

 

Josh was on his feet before he knew what was happening, tripping over himself in the hallway and flinging open the door to Tyler's room.

 

The second he was inside there was a moment of panic, was there an intruder? Was someone else here? He didn't even have a weapon of some sort, he was useless.

 

But he sensed no one in the room save Tyler, and by the sound of it, Tyler was having a nightmare, thrashing on the bed.

 

Josh reacted on instinct and grabbed for Tyler, holding him down to keep him from further injuring his ribs, " _Tyler_." his palms met hot, sweat-dampened skin, " _Tyler_ _!_ "

 

The noises Tyler was making were throaty and guttural and so scared sounding that Josh was having a hard time not just shaking Tyler awake, "TYLER!" he yelled and heard the body beneath him gasp and felt him still.

 

Josh slowly eased up, his hands still holding Tyler's bare shoulders, "You okay?"

 

And Tyler's voice, laced with fear, whimpered, "Josh?"

 

The sound of it had Josh recoiling in an instant. He never wanted to hear Tyler say his name with that much terror in it again.

 

"You were dreaming. You just had a nightmare, it's okay." Josh crouched down beside the bed so he wasn't towering over it and listened to Tyler's erratic breathing slowly calm.

 

|-/

 

It took Tyler a minute for his sleep muddled mind to catch up with real time. He could feel his body trembling from the nightmare he’d had, sweat cooling on his bare chest.

 

Tyler couldn't remember the dream but he'd remembered the fear and suddenly looking up at the shadowy figure of Josh, calloused fingers pressing him into the mattress.

 

He could feel his heart thumping in his chest, his neck, his fingers and that feeling of dread and panic was still draining out of him.

 

Tyler scooted himself up against the headboard and turned to look down at Josh now, who was pressing his nose into the side of the mattress, hands clutching the bed on either side of his face and a worried frown wrinkling the skin between his eyebrows.

 

He looked far from threatening now.

 

Tyler shut his eyes and tried to control his breathing.

 

"Are you okay?" Josh mumbled into the mattress.

 

"Yeah," he sobbed and clenched his jaw, swallowing down the lump in his throat, "Sorry I woke you up." his voice was scratchy with sleep and he cleared his throat a few times.

 

"I wasn't sleeping." Josh said after.

 

"Oh."

 

"Well," Josh slowly stood from his crouch beside the bed and Tyler felt his throat closing again, the familiar feel of fear sliding back into his skin.

 

"Wait," the word slipped out before Tyler could fully form his thoughts.

 

Josh paused on his way to the door, "Yeah?"

 

What was he doing? Asking Josh to stay? Keep him safe. From what, his own head?

 

And where would he stay? On the bed of course... Tyler hugged his bare chest, feeling open and vulnerable.

 

"Okay," Josh said and left.

 

Tyler stared at the open door and wished he'd said something. He didn't want to be alone tonight.

 

He reached out and pulled the blankets up to around his shoulders, glancing around at the shadows in the corners of the room. He was afraid to shut his eyes, afraid of where his memories would take him.

 

The room seemed to be growing around him, gaining strength in darkness and Tyler felt the hairs on the back of his neck start to stand at attention. He clenched his jaw and tried to shut it out, tried to stamp down his anxiety and-

 

Josh came clambering back into the room and Tyler jumped in surprise. He was carrying blankets and his pillow.

 

Kicking the door shut behind him, Josh threw his burden on the floor and his phone on the bedside table before dropping to his knees to fix the layout.

 

After a moment of shuffling things around he flopped on his back and huffed out a, "Night Ty."

 

Tyler found himself smiling in the dark, "Goodnight Josh."

 

He curled up and got comfortable, the shadows of his mind retreating in the presence of a friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this was all I have written so far :p so unfortunately its gonna be a lot longer before I get more out - I'm aiming for a chapter a week. But it all depends on my muse. =/ Enjoy! :p


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning here for some self harm stuff.

Tyler woke slowly.

 

The nightmares from earlier in the night were long forgotten and he had slept well.

 

He stretched languidly on the bed for a moment, relishing the feel of soft blankets and pillows before he sat up and started to swing his feet to the floor.

 

Tyler stopped himself at the last second, remembering that Josh was down there. Leaning over, Tyler peered at Josh.

 

He was still sleeping, curled tight into a ball, save his left arm that was flung out from underneath his pillow, palm up.

 

In the dim morning light that spilled through the bedroom, Tyler's eye caught something he'd never noticed before. Carefully, he stood and stepped over Josh before crouching next to his sleeping form and looking at his wrist.

 

There was a thick pinkish white scar that cut diagonally across Josh's wrist. As Tyler looked closer he noticed a few other short thin scars closer to the base of Josh's palm.

 

He frowned as he thought about what they meant and the thought that Josh had been in a place so low that he would resort to... Tyler squeezed his eyes shut and felt a tear slice hotly down his cheek.

 

He opened his eyes to look at Josh's sleeping face. The image was blurry and Tyler scrubbed at his face before sniffing and standing.

 

The floorboard beneath his foot creaked and Josh stirred, his arm retracting back beneath the pillow, "Ty?" He asked sleepily and Tyler sniffed again, wiping at his nose.

 

"Tyler?" Josh sounded more alert, more awake and Tyler swallowed, "Hi. I'm here."

 

He watched Josh's eyebrows knit together, "Are you okay?"

 

"Yeah, fine. Just gonna shower."

 

Tyler turned and left, his head a mix of confusing emotions.

 

|-/

 

Josh let himself drift in and out of sleep for awhile and it was close to eleven in the morning when he actually decided to drag himself up from the floor - which, for some strange reason was stupidly comfortable with his blankets.

 

He shuffled down the stairs and through the hall with his comforter draped over his shoulders until plopping himself at the kitchen table.

 

At the same time the porch door opened and Josh could smell grass and dirt and _Tyler_.

 

"Hey." Tyler said and Josh smiled tiredly, "You slept late."

 

"Did I?"

 

"Mmhmm," Tyler hummed and Josh listened to him bustle around the kitchen.

 

"Why do you smell like dirt?"

 

Something clattered onto the floor and he could hear Tyler mutter an 'oops' before actually getting an answer, "Um, I was mowing the lawn. ...You can smell me?"

 

"Usually." Josh replied and yawned.

 

"Oh..."

 

Tyler was quiet after that and Josh listened to his movements in the kitchen, trying to figure out what he was doing. A loud sizzle met his ears a moment later and Josh grinned, "Where'd you get bacon?"

 

"Debby."

 

Ah. He should've known.

 

"Hey Josh?" Tyler asked quietly.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yesterday... you said... you're happier now, right?" His words were halted and Josh ran through their conversations from earlier, trying to remember this particular one.

 

"I don't-"

 

"I said that my life was better here... with you. And you said you felt the same way?"

 

Oh. Josh felt his cheeks grow warm. That.

 

"Yeah."

 

"You're happy now?"

 

"...yeah. I suppose I am."

 

"Okay."

 

Josh frowned, "Tyler, why are you asking me this?" He smelled pancakes.

 

"...no reason."

 

He smelled eggs.

 

Josh's stomach rumbled loudly and he suddenly didn't care why Tyler was acting strange, "Okay." All he wanted was food.

 

|-/

 

Josh retired to his room after breakfast. He tried to help Tyler clean up but ended up knocking over the syrup... and then accidentally stepping on it. Needless to say his kitchen floor was now stickier than a movie theater.

 

Tyler had pushed him away, told him he would take care of it. So Josh laid in bed, feeling quite useless, his fingers idly tracing the scar on his wrist.

 

He was self concious about it and often tried to hide it from view. Now it only ever reminded him everything he wanted to forget. Why couldn't happiness leave scars instead?

 

Josh groaned and rolled over, burying his head beneath his pillow.

 

There was a quiet knock on the door and Josh yelled into the mattress, "Can you come back later, Tyler?"

 

The door clicked open and Josh threw the pillow off his head, "Ty, sorry - I just-" He stopped the moment he smelled sweet citrus and warm jasmine, "Mom?"

 

The bed dipped beside him and he felt her hand gently run over the hair at his temple, "Hey, sweetie. Hope it's okay I dropped by?"

 

He sat up and gave her a hug, inhaling her smell and smiling, "Yeah, of course, ma."

 

"How are you, honey? Mark called me..."

 

Ah, of course he did, Josh grumbled internally, he hated worrying her.

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It was... nothing. Really."

 

"Josh," her tone was troubled and Josh felt terrible for making her feel that way, "I know we've talked about this before, but I don't like that you're alone here-"

 

"I'm not alone." He chirped suddenly, hoping to soothe her nerves, "I have Tyler now."

 

"Oh yes, Tyler... who is he?"

 

And Josh felt his tongue stick in his throat. Crap.

 

"The boy that answered your door... wearing your clothes?" She prodded and Josh swallowed. He very well couldn't tell her the truth.

 

"Uh, he's... just a friend. Mark introduced us."

 

"And he lives here now?"

 

"Uh..."

 

"And doesn't have his own clothes he can wear?"

 

"Um..."

 

Josh heard a floorboard creek in the hallway. He was willing to bet his mom did too.

 

Then Tyler was in the room, stuttering out apologies.

 

"Ssshh, sshh, it's okay," His mom was saying.

 

"No, I was eavesdropping, I'm so sorry. I'll go."

 

"Wait, actually. If you wouldn't mind staying... You're the only friend of my son's I don't really know."

 

It was quiet after that and Josh was afraid Tyler was going to blow the whole thing when suddenly Tyler was saying, "Well, we haven't known each other all that long yet. But Josh was kind enough to let me stay here for a while after my apartment was broken into. They pretty much stripped the place, took my clothes too."

 

"Oh." He heard his mom say and Josh felt his mouth hanging open. Tyler was a good liar. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Tyler," She continued and Josh could only grin.

 

After that they went out onto the porch and talked and sipped iced tea Tyler had made. Josh zoned out as Tyler and his mom spoke, just finding comfort in their voices. He was happy she had met Tyler but a part of him wondered how long they could keep the charade up? If Tyler was going to be in his life a while his mom would have to find out the truth.

 

He didn't think she needed any more tragic stories in her life. Her sad excuse for a son just about filled the quota.

 

Josh found himself tracing the scars on his wrist again and quickly covered them as soon as he realized he was doing it. He tried to concentrate on their voices again instead but it seemed they had both trailed off into a semi-comfortable silence.

 

The paranoia in him wondered if they were looking at him, if they'd seen. But he didn't think so, they felt calm enough beside him.

 

"Well, it's getting late, I should go." He heard his mom stand and Josh followed suit. She exchanged polite goodbye's with Tyler before he went to his room to give them some privacy.

 

"It was good seeing you again, mom..." Josh hated saying that stupid expression, it made him feel silly for it. He couldn't really _see_ anything.

 

"Tyler really cares about you." She said and surprised him.

 

"What?"

 

"You mean a lot to him." She explained and Josh smiled softly.

 

"Yeah, he means a lot to me."

 

She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the forehead, "You're a good boy for giving him a proper home. I'm proud of you."

 

He frowned at that, "Uh, yeah, well. All his stuff was stolen..."

 

"Josh, I know what he is."

 

"You do?" Josh squeaked. How could she have known? Tyler had lied so well.

 

"After talking to him for a while it became a little obvious. He's _very_ polite. And _very_ grateful. Which are odd qualities in a young man... but he's also very..." She thought about it for a moment.

 

"Broken." Josh finished for her.

 

"Yeah," she said softly, "He's not quite whole."

 

"Well, who is?" Josh muttered.

 

"I think you two are perfect for each other." He heard the smile in her voice and laughed,

 

" _Maa_."

 

"You need somebody, Josh. So does Tyler. And you both seem very comfortable with each other. Very happy."

 

He felt himself blushing, "You think so?"

 

She leaned in and hugged him, "I do."

 

"Thanks mom."

 

|-/

 

After he'd said goodbye to Josh's mom, Tyler sat on his bed and played around with his ukulele.

 

He liked Josh's mom. She was really nice, really _mom-like_. He'd missed that.

 

Tyler strummed a couple more chords together, getting just the right sound.

 

He was almost done with Josh's song. He'd written a fair amount of it after the scare Josh had given him the night he'd gotten drunk... and when Tyler found the scars on Josh's wrist he'd realized his lyrics were more on point than he'd intended them to be.

 

He sang quietly in the dark of his bedroom, testing out the lyrics with the chords,

 

_I feel for you but when did you believe you were alone,_

_You say that spiders crawled inside and made themselves a home,_

_Where light once was_

_Petrified of who you are and who you have become_

_You will hide from everyone, denying you need someone_

_To exterminate your bones_

_Friend, please remove your hands from_

_Over your eyes for me_

_I know you want to leave but_

_Friend, please don't take your life away from me_

 

 

When Tyler finished he opened his eyes, not even realizing he'd closed them.

 

Josh was standing in the open doorframe to his room. His eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

Tyler fought to form words for a moment, to say something, but anything he would have wanted to say he'd already sung. He hadn't expected for Josh to hear it quite so soon but maybe it was better that he did.

 

Eventually, Tyler croaked, "Josh?" And his voice felt much thicker all of a sudden.

 

Josh's hand closed over his scarred wrist and he shook his head, "I'm so sorry, Tyler."

 

And Tyler knew what he was apologizing for.

 

Slowly, Tyler got up off the bed and walked over to Josh. He paused when he was close enough to feel Josh's breath on his face.

 

A swirl of emotions tumbled through him at this man. This man who had taken him in and made him feel safe again, made him feel cared for. And now he was apologizing for something he'd done so long ago, long before he'd known Tyler that it shouldn't matter but to Tyler it did.

 

Tyler took a moment's hesitation before he threw his arms around Josh, almost toppling them both over. He felt Josh's arms wrap around him almost just as abruptly.

 

"I'm so sorry," Josh was saying next to his ear, his grip around Tyler so tight it almost hurt, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

 

"Ssshhh, it's okay." Tyler felt the sting of tears behind his eyelids and fought to stay strong for Josh.

 

"No, it's not," Josh sniffed and Tyler felt warmth hit his shoulder, "I didn't know you knew."

 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept it from you."

 

Awkwardly, Josh let go and stood back from Tyler, "No, I... I don't care about that. I just can't help but think... if I had done it, if I had gone through with it I wouldn't be here... I wouldn't have been able to save you."

 

"I know." Tyler said and he did. Somehow, he'd understood that's what Josh had been thinking and it only amazed him, how much Josh cared about him.

 

And it surprised Tyler, how much he found he cared for Josh. And how good it felt to hold someone... to be held.

 

Tyler stepped back too, feeling awkward standing so close but craving it all at the same time.

 

"Hey, um, do you wanna get something to eat or..." Josh trailed off and Tyler understood he needed the sudden return to normalcy. He wasn't the type to dwell on his feelings.

 

"Maybe we can order from Marco's?" Tyler asked hopefully and heard Josh chuckle.

 

"Yeah, sure."

 

Tyler took Josh's hand and placed it in the crook of his elbow before helping him downstairs. The warmth of Josh's skin was just about burning his own and all he could think about was that hug. How perfect Josh's solid body had felt pressed against his own. How safe he felt wrapped up in those arms.

 

Tyler wondered if they'd hug anytime again soon.

 

He hoped so.


	6. Chapter 6

"Come on, Josh, _pleeeease_." Tyler was saying and Josh groaned, how could he say no to Tyler?

 

"I won't be any good."

 

"Yes you will."

 

"No, I'm serious, I haven't done this in forever."

 

Josh stretched out his hands and his fingers came into contact with the sharp edge of a cymbal. All the dirty towels had since been removed off his drums. Sometime, somehow, Tyler had managed to clean his room because Josh found he was no longer stepping over piles of dirty clothes and garbage. It smelled better too... like lemons.

 

"Did you clean in here while I was sleeping or something?"

 

"I think you should play your drums now." Tyler just said and Josh laughed.

 

"Creeper," Josh mumbled as he crawled behind his drum set.

 

He sat down and picked up his drum sticks, poised and... almost ready.

 

"What are you waiting for?" Tyler asked.

 

"I don't know... maybe I have stage fright." Josh hesitantly reached out with his sticks and tapped each piece of instrument. The movements were so familiar to him, he wasn't worried about trying to hit a drum and missing. He was just... worried.

 

"Hmm... ok, hold on." He listened to Tyler dash from the room before he came running back in a moment later and a familiar little strum touched Josh's ears, "I'll play with you."

 

Josh grinned, maybe he could do this.

 

Tyler started playing a little tune, singing softly and Josh took a deep breath.

 

He pressed the bass pedal experimentally before hitting it in a steady rhythm. Once he hit one of the drums his muscle memory took over and he was smoothly punching out a piece he often used to play for fun.

 

It was like riding a bike, but a million times better.

 

He could almost hear Tyler's ukulele beneath the sound of the drums but all he knew was the beat at his foot and the vibrations in his arms and he began hitting harder and harder until he felt like he was in the full swing of it. He was himself again. He was playing the drums and it was easy and natural.

 

And how awful he had been, to let this part of him go.

 

He stopped after a while, breathing hard and feeling sweat break out on his forehead.

 

Tyler was silent.

 

"Ty?" he breathed.

 

"That was sick, Josh."

 

And Josh just laughed at the term Tyler used, "Pretty sick, huh?" He couldn't stop smiling, "Man, I missed this." He hit a couple more beats and grinned, stopping the tremble in his cymbal, "Thanks, Ty. For making me do this."

 

He heard the smile in Tyler's voice when he responded, "Thank _you_."

 

Josh started tapping the bass pedal again as he talked, "We should like, start a band. I play the drums, and you play the ukulele and sing. It'd be sick." he echoed Tyler's word.

 

Tyler sounded amused, "Maybe."

 

He began to hit a couple more beats when Tyler shouted over the noise, "Should I leave you two alone?"

 

Laughing, Josh stopped and clambered out from behind his drum set. He felt elated, giddy even. What was it about Tyler that had him doing things he flat out refused with others?

 

He let Tyler guide him when he let no one else help and how many times had Debby or Mark tried to talk him into playing his drums again? But when Tyler asked him to? Josh was starting to realize he couldn't refuse Tyler.

 

And he absolutely loved that.

 

Josh just about stumbled into Tyler, who caught him and kept him from falling over. As soon as they were touching though Josh wanted more and he wrapped his arms around Tyler in a sweaty hug.

 

Tyler seemed to accept it, his arms coming up and ghosting over Josh's back and he wondered for a moment if it was because he was being too pushy or if it was because he was sweaty and gross.

 

"Jeez, I'm sorry. Every time I hug you, you get covered in like snot and tears or sweat." He tried to back off but Tyler's arms tightened around him before he got the chance.

 

"No-" Tyler bit out and they were both squeezing each other earnestly for a second before it was suddenly so very awkward, "I mean... sorry." Tyler backed off and Josh let him.

 

There was something happening between them. But there were also these unspoken rules to play by. Josh didn't want to force any sort of physical contact on Tyler, not with his particular... background on the subject. And Josh knew he wasn't always super easy to approach either. He made it a point to keep out of reach from people most of the time.

 

But Josh _wanted_ to touch Tyler. God, he felt like a nervous high schooler with his first girlfriend all over again. He was all anxious energy and butterflies around Tyler. It was ridiculous and stupid and exciting.

 

"Um, I'm gonna go do some laundry." Tyler mumbled and Josh heard him leave.

 

And Josh just felt dumb.

 

He made his way into the bathroom and shut and locked the door behind him. Maybe a nice cold shower would help him focus. Help remind him that Tyler wasn't his high school girlfriend and as much as Josh wanted to act childish and pounce on Tyler with hugs all day long, he couldn't. Because Tyler was fragile. Tyler was a slave.

 

If he wanted anything from Tyler he couldn't be the first to act on it. It had to be Tyler's decision.

 

Josh nodded firmly to himself in the bathroom, deciding to handle this crush of his like an adult.

 

He stripped off his clothes and turned on the shower and it wasn't long before Josh found himself thinking of doing some very _adult_ things to Tyler and that familiar feeling of heat began pooling in his groin.

 

Josh bit his lip and fought with the dirty thoughts now running through his mind. He felt guilty.

 

He thought of Tyler, his touch, his face, the way their bodies felt pressed together. Josh closed his eyes and imagined what it would feel like to run his hands over Tyler's body, to kiss those soft lips, to make Tyler keen and moan beneath him.

 

Swallowing, Josh let his hand slide down until he was slowly stroking himself.

 

He tried to imagine what it would feel like to have Tyler touching him, his hands sliding up his thighs, hot palms rubbing friction along his member. Josh imagined Tyler straddling him, his body tight around Josh.

 

It didn't take long for Josh to jerk himself off and he breathed heavily underneath the spray, the steam suddenly suffocating him.

 

Switching the water to cold, Josh's lustful thoughts turned back to guilty in an instant and suddenly he was sobbing underneath the icy spray.

 

What the hell was wrong with him? Fantasizing about Tyler like this?

 

Who said Tyler would ever return his feelings anyway? For all he knew, Tyler just wanted to be friends and nothing more. And if that was what Tyler wanted that's what Tyler would get, Josh knew. It would kill him, but he would rather suffer in Tyler's presence everyday than lose him as a friend.

 

Josh thumped his head against the tile of his shower wall, _God, what was he going to do?_

 

|-/

 

Tyler was sitting slumped on the floor of Josh's basement, leaning against the shaking washing machine. He felt like an idiot.

 

He was replaying Josh hugging him in his mind over and over again and cringing at the way he'd clung like a baby when Josh tried to pull away.

 

Why was he so embarrassing? Why did he act the way he did around Josh?

 

Josh made him feel jumpy and nervous... but in a good way. Normally his master's made him feel jumpy and nervous because he thought they were going to hurt him.

 

But he knew Josh would never purposefully hurt him that way.

 

Tyler laid down, curling himself into a ball and letting the cement floor of the basement cool his skin. The washer thumping gently at his back.

 

He liked Josh... a lot. And as much as Josh's touch excited him it scared him too. He wanted to sit close to Josh, hug him, feel the warmth of his body, gentle touch of his hands. But when he let that thought go further, when he thought about where those hands might go, Tyler felt a shock of panic at the notion.

 

Who was he kidding anyway, if Josh had wanted to use him for that he would have already. Since he hadn't, it probably meant that he wasn't attracted to him and never would be.

 

Maybe that was for the best. Being just friends with Josh was safe. He was comfortable with safe.

 

Tyler closed his eyes and let the washer rock him into a lull. He was happy here. Why should he change that?

 

 

He must have drifted off because suddenly someone was stepping on him and snapping him awake.

 

" _Jesus_ , Tyler?!"

 

"Sorry." He sat up and shivered, the floor hadn't gotten any warmer.

 

"What the hell are you doing?"

 

"I fell asleep." he muttered dumbly.

 

"Yeah, why are you sleeping on the basement floor?" Josh was holding out his hand and Tyler hesitantly took it before the former helped him stand.

 

Josh's touch made his stomach do a nervous somersault and Tyler let go, wondering at what it meant.

 

"I don't know. I was..." _avoiding you_ , "doing the laundry."

 

"It buzzed."

 

"Oh."

 

They stood in awkward silence for a moment. Tyler felt the urge to say something, _anything_ about his feelings toward Josh but was too much of a coward to do so.

 

What if it just ruined everything?

 

He stared stupidly at Josh for a moment, contemplating, when the doorbell rang upstairs.

 

_Thank you._

 

"I got it."

 

Tyler darted around Josh and up the stairs as quick as his legs would carry him.

 

When Tyler opened the door a tall, blond man was standing on the other side of it. He was wearing a suit and held a large, wide briefcase of some sort.

 

"Hello, sir. My name is Ralph Cully and I'd like to speak with you about your subscription needs."

 

Tyler frowned, "My what?"

 

"We have an assortment of magazines to fit just the lifestyle you have - whether it be sports, music, politics-"

 

Tyler held up his hand to stop the guy, "Sorry, we're not interested. Thanks anyway."

 

He watched the guy's expression shift from polite businessman to outright contempt in less than a second.

 

"Oh, where is your Master? I want to speak with him."

 

Tyler's hand instinctively went to his wrist where he knew his slave barcode was. He must have seen it.

 

"I can assure you, sir. My Master is not interested in any magazine subscriptions." Tyler bowed his head and opted for a much more submissive tone.

 

"I don't think you can make that decision, slave. Now go get your Master." The guy bit and Tyler felt the words hit him like a physical blow. He had let himself get too comfortable with the way Josh spoke to him.

 

He really didn't want to bother Josh with this though and swallowed as he spoke softly, "With all do respect, sir-"

 

A finger roughly prodded Tyler in the chest, " _Look_ , slave." His finger continued to jab with every word he stressed, " _You_ don't _make_ these decisions. _You_ don't make _any_ decisions." He was up in Tyler's face, spittle flying from his mouth, "That's a _freeman's_ right. Now go _get_ your Master before I-"

 

"Tyler?"

 

Tyler turned to see Josh standing in the middle of the hallway, his eyebrows wrinkled in concern.

 

"Hello, sir! My name is Ralph Cully and I would like to speak to you about your... subscription..." Tyler watched the guy's face change to confusion and then realization as he trailed off.

 

Josh had moved next to Tyler, there was a scowl written in his features, "Don't think a blind guy has very many subscription needs, does he?"

 

"Uhh, I'm terribly sorry, sir."

 

"Get the hell off my doorstep." Josh growled and Tyler watched with pleasure as the jerk practically ran out to his car.

 

Tyler pulled the door shut the same moment Josh reached out to and their hands met in a clumsy bump. Tyler quickly pulled his hand back.

 

"What a fucking asshole. Are you okay?"

 

"Yessir," Tyler muttered and felt his heart freeze the second it came out, "Yes. Uh, yeah, I'm fine." He tried to amend, but knew the damage was done.

 

"Ty?" Josh said carefully and Tyler hated his tone. It was sick and pitying.

 

" _What_ , Josh?" he spit and flinched at his own words. Why did he let himself get so comfortable here?

 

Why did he let himself believe he had any sort of freedom? He was still a slave. He couldn't forget that. He could never forget that.

 

"I just..." Josh was saying and Tyler cut him off with a kiss.

 

Josh made a muffled little noise underneath is mouth and before he knew it he was shoving Josh up against the wall in the foyer, pushing his tongue into Josh's mouth.

 

"Ty, what-" Josh managed before Tyler reached down and pressed a palm between Josh's legs.

 

And that was all it took. Josh groaned and took over.

 

He pushed Tyler down onto the stairs, straddling him and giving him wet hot, needy kisses and Tyler let him take over. Tyler let himself feel numb, let his mind go blank, let himself tune out.

 

Or he tried.

 

But Josh was so _much_. He was everywhere. His skin was hot everywhere it touched Tyler and Tyler dug his fingernails into his palms and tried to concentrate on the pain there instead.

 

It seemed to work for a while. Tyler was so focused on the tightening pain in his knuckles that he didn't at first realize Josh had stopped.

 

"Tyler?"

 

Josh's tone was alarmed and Tyler looked up to see him kneeling on either side of his hips, but he wasn't pressed in close anymore. He was leaning on one braced arm next to Tyler's head, the other on the banister and there was enough space separating them so Tyler didn't feel quite so trapped beneath Josh.

 

"Tyler, say something."

 

"What?" He asked, confused because why had Josh stopped?

 

"You were shaking." Josh said simply and Tyler wanted to cry, "Tyler? What's wrong?"

 

Tyler covered his face in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut.

 

Yes, what was wrong with him? God, what the hell was wrong with him?

 

"Tyler?" Josh's voice was getting higher, more on edge and Tyler hated that he was doing this to him, "Tyler, _please,_ tell me what's wrong?"

 

"I'm sorry, Josh," he gasped and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat.

 

"For what? _Tyler_... _please_ , what the hell just happened?"

 

Tyler just shook his head, not caring that Josh couldn't even see it, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

 

"Why did you kiss me? Why did you-"

 

"I can't forget who I am, Josh."

 

"Who you are?"

 

Tyler uncovered his face and saw that Josh was sitting next to his sprawled form on the stairs, now, "I'm a slave." he said thickly, "I can't ever forget that."

 

"I don't understand..."

 

"You wouldn't." Tyler ground out and a silence fell between them before Josh spoke a bit more calmly,

 

"You wanted me to... you kissed me so that I could, what Tyler? Put you back in your place?" his voice rose in anger and Tyler cringed at it, "You wanted me to fuck you so you could feel like a slave?"

 

All Tyler wanted to do was turn over and fold himself into Josh's chest, bury his head and cry and maybe Josh would hold him, protect him.

 

But Josh was angry, and Tyler was a coward. All he could do was mumble, "I don't know."

 

"Tyler..." Josh's voice was much softer, "I don't want you to think this way. I don't want you to still feel like a slave. I want you..." He trailed off and Tyler wondered if the sentence was actually supposed to be _I want you_ or if he'd meant to fill something else in.

 

Tyler just laid there, draped across the stairs like a rag doll, too afraid to move.

 

"Look... Tyler, I like you... a lot. Which you might've guessed by now," Tyler still had Josh's spit on his lips, his taste in his mouth, "But I don't ever want to do anything that you're not comfortable with, okay?"

 

When Tyler didn't answer him, Josh's hand reached out and touched his shoulder, "Okay, Ty?"

 

Tyler stared openly at Josh's face. Josh's stupid, concerned, kind, adorable face. He sat up and carefully carded his fingers through Josh's, "Okay."

 

He felt Josh squeeze his hand and smiled.

 

Tyler knew he didn't deserve Josh, no way, not him. But for whatever reason, Josh really liked him. He made Josh happy and Tyler knew that Josh deserved to be happy.

 

And to Tyler, Josh's happiness was all that mattered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well hullo there. It's been a while. Special thanks to SoloChaos for all the help when i was struggling and ultimately inspiring this chapter into what it is.

Josh paced his bedroom, his phone in his hand as he debated calling Debby.

 

He had underestimated Tyler's situation.

 

 _God_ , he couldn't stop replaying the incident in his head. Tyler kissing him, Tyler pressing him against the wall, Tyler's hand on him...

 

Josh squeezed his eyes shut and mentally berated himself. _How_ could he have let himself respond that way? _How_ could he not have realized that Tyler hadn't really wanted it? That it was all an act? And a desperate one too.

 

Tyler was way more fucked up than he'd originally thought and Josh couldn't help but feel that talking about it was the only way to fix it. That and time.

 

But he couldn't just sit and wait on something like this and he was in no way equipped to handle hearing about... that. Tyler needed professional help.

 

Josh froze in place. Professional help.

 

That could work.

 

A therapist. He was so excited by the idea he found himself leaving his bedroom in search of Tyler with the good news.

 

That was of course, until he actually found himself standing in front of Tyler, and had no idea how to say it.

 

 

He'd found Tyler downstairs in the living room, watching TV.

 

He listened as the volume was lowered and a quiet, "Hey," came from the direction of the couch.

 

Josh shifted nervously, how was he supposed to bring this delicate matter up?

 

"Hi... watchya watchin'?"

 

"I don't know. I was just flipping."

 

"Oh."

 

Things had been sort of tense and quiet after the incident, as Josh referred to it as. They were awkward around each other, tip toeing around the subject.

 

"So," Josh cleared his throat, "I was just kind of thinking... about earlier. And um, I think that maybe... y'know, that you should- there's people that it's their job to do that. So, if you wanted... It's gonna take time, y'know, uh...." Josh sighed, he wasn't making any sense.

 

"Josh?"

 

Why was this so hard to say? _I think you should see a psychiatrist._ "If you needed someone to, like, listen... I'll pay for it."

 

Josh rolled his eyes at himself.

 

"What?" Tyler asked from the couch.

 

"A therapist. I think, maybe it's important, Tyler."

 

"You... want me to see a shrink?"

 

Josh rubbed at the back of his neck, feeling like he was an asshole that needed to justify himself, "I think with everything you've been through, a more professional... take on things... would benefit you."

 

Ugh, he sounded so stupid.

 

"So you want me to go talk about what happened to me to some guy I don't know?"

 

"Well, it wouldn't just be some guy. We could interview them and you can pick. And you wouldn't have to go there, I would have them come here. Which makes more sense 'cause none of us can drive..."

 

Tyler was silent and Josh was only sort of regretting the fact that he'd said anything. He felt bad pushing this on Tyler when he clearly didn't want it, but it would help him in the long run.

 

"Look, Tyler, I just want to try it. I think a therapist would be able to offer you things that I couldn't. Could you just try it for me?"

 

He heard Tyler sigh before saying, "Okay. For you, I will."

 

|-/

 

Tyler fidgeted with the draw strings on his hoodie while they waited for the first one to show up.

 

They were interviewing head shrinks.

 

Just the thought of spilling his deepest, darkest moments to some man only listening because he was getting paid to made Tyler want to turn and run. He was doing this for Josh though.

 

He couldn't blame him, after he'd practically attacked him in the foyer. The memory made Tyler cringe with shame and embarrassment. He tried to block the memory out as best he could.

 

The doorbell rang then and Tyler stood to open it. Behind the door was a short man in his seventies, his beard long and grey. He was wearing a tweed jacket and had very small, round glasses.

 

Tyler showed him in to the living room where Josh was fidgeting on the couch in front of a pot of tea Tyler had made for everybody.

 

"Which one of you is, um," the man pulled out a crinkled piece of paper and read off of it, "a Joshua Dun?"

 

Josh stood from his spot on the couch and reached out his hand in greeting, "That's me, thank you for coming Dr. Hoffmann, please, have a seat."

 

"Oh, I understand, are you having trouble coping with the blindness?" The man nodded wisely, peering at Josh and Tyler felt himself scowling at the guy.

 

Josh looked offended by the idea of it, "No. We're actually looking for someone to talk to Tyler. He's had ...an abusive past and-"

 

"Abusive, how so?"

 

Josh frowned, looking a little agitated at being cut off, "Well, he's a slave and-"

 

Immediately, Dr. Hoffmann's beady little eyes swung to glare at Tyler and he felt himself stepping back from the threat in them, "I do not treat _slaves_." Hoffmann bit out and Josh's face morphed into a look of shock.

 

"Why?" he shot back.

 

"They're not like us, Mr. Dun. They don't have the same capabilities as we do, the same emotional range, the same intelligence. For you to call me down here and ask for _my_ professional help is an _embarrassment_ to my job. And an embarrassment to _me._ "

 

"Get out of here."

 

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

 

"If you won't treat him then get the hell out of my house."

 

 

 

The door slammed shut and Josh turned around, his shoulders tense, "Ty, are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine-"

 

"What an _asshole_! I can't believe he said those things!"

 

"Josh-"

 

"No, that is unacceptable. That man should be stripped of his license! Jesus, how could he?"

 

Tyler shrugged and slumped onto the couch, curling his feet up under his butt, "It doesn't really surprise me."

 

"I swear if we get anymore assholes like that I'll be slamming the door shut in their face, too."

 

 

 

It turns out they got a few more assholes like Dr. Hoffmann. They were baffled at the idea of treating a slave. Some were angry and others just laughed.

 

When the fourth psychiatrist came his reaction to treating a slave was entirely different than the hostile or amused reactions of the other doctors, but something far more dangerous.

 

As soon as Tyler opened the door he was greeted by a tall and imposing man. He was in his thirties maybe, with dark hair and darker eyes.

 

"Hi, I'm Doctor West, but _you_ can call me Don." The guy said and Tyler just felt dread at the look West was giving him. Sleazy and provocative and all too familiar.

 

"Come on in." Tyler muttered and lead him into the living room where Josh was waiting, looking tired and aggravated.

 

"Before you say anything, are you willing to treat slaves?" Josh blurted out and the good Doc looked at first quite taken aback at the question.

 

"Oh, a slave? I didn't realize that's who I would be dealing with." West's words were slow as he talked, Tyler could tell he was in the process of figuring out he was talking to a blind man. But then his eyes traveled until they landed on Tyler, who instantly looked away and downward at the eye contact.

 

West made it a point to look intimidating and powerful and Tyler briefly wondered if he was upset Josh wasn't able to appreciate the effort he'd put into it.

 

"Are you a slave?" Doctor West asked bluntly and Tyler fidgeted under his gaze, feeling a bit too much like his old self again.

 

"Yessir."

 

The lewd grin that stretched across West's face frightened him.

 

"Then I'd be happy to work with a slave." He responded and Josh's surprised smile had Tyler's heart sinking.

 

 

 

They talked for a while, Josh and Dr. West. They talked until there was no more tea. So Tyler jumped at the opportunity to get more.

 

As he carried the empty pot back into the kitchen Tyler debated telling Josh that he wasn't up for therapy after all. Ugh, but Josh looked so _happy_ that someone was willing to help.

 

The only reason he'd signed up for a shrink session was to please Josh and if he turned around and said no before he'd even had his first session...

 

Maybe he should just do it. How bad could it be? It wasn't like this West guy could _do_ anything to him, this was Josh's house. Josh was paying him to listen to Tyler talk... that's it.

 

Sighing, Tyler began filling the pot with water at the faucet, throwing pros and cons around in his head.

 

"Hey there," A voice said behind him and Tyler whirled around, "Said I'd come help."

 

"Oh." Tyler swallowed and pressed his back up against the counter.

 

West grinned again, toothy and wide and Tyler couldn't help imagining a snake's tongue darting out from the man's mouth.

 

Closing in on him, Dr. West reached out to run his hands up Tyler's arms, "I think I'm going to like working with you, boy. I'll figure out what's been," Tyler held his breath as West's hands ghosted over his chest, down his abdomen and landed on his hips, "keeping you up at night."

 

Tyler was wrong. This man could do plenty to him. He had to tell Josh. He just hoped he'd be believed.

 

"I-I think we should get back to-" Tyler tried to worm his way out of West's grip, but the good Doctor only held tighter.

 

"Oh, don't be in such a rush. I'm looking forward to our first session. I'll lay you down on that couch and fix all your problems," West purred in his ear before his hand crawled lower and rubbed hard against his crotch.

 

Tyler bit back a yelp at the touch. He knew he should be saying something, pushing the guy off him and distancing himself from this monster, but years of slavery told him to hold still, stay quiet and take it or he'd be punished severely.

 

West stopped then, giving Tyler a moment of relief before he undid his own belt and grabbed Tyler's wrist, "Want to touch me, slave?"

 

Tyler reacted on instinct, pulling back and surprising both himself and the Doctor.

 

"Feisty one. We'll correct that."

 

West grabbed Tyler's wrist again, hard enough to bruise, and pulled it toward his undone pants, "C'mon boy, rub it for me."

 

"Please..." Tyler whispered and he felt sick. He didn't want to do this again. He was with Josh now and with Josh he didn't have to do these things that made him feel like a worthless whore.

 

"If you won't touch me with your hands then get on your knees," West hissed in his ear and Tyler felt a tear slide down his cheek.

 

All he could think about was Josh sitting in the living room. Josh, hating him for being a slut. But West was pushing on his shoulders and numbly, Tyler began to sink to his knees.

 

"Doctor West?" Josh asked stepping into the kitchen and Tyler couldn't help his small cry of relief.

 

" _Josh_."

 

"Tyler, get over here." and by the tone of Josh's voice Tyler knew Josh understood something terrible had been happening in his kitchen.

 

Tyler scrambled on his hands and knees across the laminate floor until he was safely behind Josh's legs.

 

" _Leave_." Josh said in a low and menacing growl so unlike him that Tyler shrunk back at the sound of it.

 

He was of course talking to West though, who only shrugged and zipped up his pants, buckled his belt and said, "I guess this won't work out then." before striding toward the front hall.

 

He stopped in front of Josh though, his eyes on Tyler and said, " _Somebody_ should be fucking him though. Shame to waste that." before continuing on his way out.

 

The front door shut and Tyler and Josh were left with the silence of the kitchen.

 

"Tyler, are you okay?" Josh offered his hand to help him up and Tyler took it hesitantly.

 

"Uh, yeah. 'm fine."

 

" _Jesus,_ I'm sorry. If I'd known what a fucking perverted freak he was I never would have let him in the house. I'm so sorry, Ty. Ugh... I could _smell_ his arousal. Sick fuck."

 

In the aftermath of it, Tyler felt tremors running through his muscles, his skin, making him feel weak and pathetic. He hugged his arms around himself to try and stave them off.

 

"I don't think I can do this therapy thing." Tyler heard himself say and in the next instant, the doorbell was ringing.

 

Josh looked sheepish, "There's actually one more-" Tyler was about to protest, none of those doctor's cared about a slave enough to help and he didn't want to face anything like Dr. West ever again, but then Josh said, "-and that must be her."

 

And of all the torment and abuse that had come Tyler's way, none of it had been at the hands of a woman.

 

Tyler thought he was maybe willing to give her a try.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short.

Josh felt like the worst friend in the history of the world ever.

 

Tyler hadn't wanted to do this stupid therapy thing in the first place and Josh had pushed it on him anyway. And look what had happened! God, he didn't even _know._

He'd gone in to check on Tyler and West, they were taking longer than he thought was necessary to get drinks and he'd been anxious to sit down and figure out times and prices.

 

Tyler had cried his name out like a beacon for hope and Josh knew something was wrong. Something had felt wrong... something had _smelled_ wrong. And Tyler, the sound of him scuttling over on the floor. Josh could only imagine the worst had happened.

 

And it was all his fault.

 

"I can send her away." Josh said, knowing if he had to he would lock them both inside and away from the world forever. Keep Tyler safe and in the dark for as long as he could.

 

But Tyler surprised him, "No. That's okay."

 

"Tyler, you don't have to do this." The sound of West's zipper, the sound of his belt buckling was burned into Josh's head.

 

"I want to." Tyler said and Josh found himself praying this woman would refuse to treat slaves like the others. He couldn't trust anyone with Tyler ever again.

 

|-/

 

When Tyler opened the door this time he felt less nervous about who stood before it.

 

She was a few inches shorter than him, with long wavy brown hair and cinnamon colored skin. She was a little on the plump side, in her mid-thirties maybe and a complete one-eighty from the stuffy tweed-jacket wearing psychiatrists they'd seen so far today.

 

"Hello, my name is Nadia Suresh." her voice was lightly accented, warm and pleasant.

 

"Hi, Tyler. Um, come in, please."

 

He ushered her into the living room along with Josh and they all sat in polite silence for a moment.

 

"This is Josh." Tyler spoke up.

 

"Ah, Mr. Dun? We spoke on the phone."

 

"Look, Miss... Serash?"

 

"Suresh."

 

"Miss Suresh. I don't want you to waste anymore of our time here today, Tyler is a slave. Are you okay with being a slave's therapist? Because if you aren't then you know where the door is."

 

Tyler shot an apologetic look Dr. Suresh's way. He realized Josh was still shaken up from what had just happened minutes ago, he was too, but so far nothing Dr. Suresh had done would warrant the hostility coming from Josh.

 

Suresh took a moment to gauge the tension in the room before speaking, "I can tell I've interrupted something here and I don't mean to impose. But I _was_ invited and I'd be more than happy to work with a slave and anybody that thinks themselves too superior to do just that is someone I would not like to cross paths with." Her mahogany colored eyes swept over to Tyler, over his wrist where he self-consciously hid the barcode tattoo from view.

 

She gave him a light smile in return.

 

"I'm sorry..." Josh was saying, "I just am having a hard time trusting anyone who calls themselves a professional therapist around here right now."

 

"I understand, once you've been betrayed it's incredibly difficult to trust again, Mr. Dun. But I think what you are trying to do for Tyler here is admirable and ...and I only wish I'd had someone like you when I needed it most. If you are really uncomfortable with my being here then I'll leave." Tyler caught a glimpse of something then, something that made him decide Dr. Suresh would be a perfect fit.

 

She stood from the couch and Tyler found himself standing too, "Wait... Josh?"

 

Josh worried over his lips for a moment before saying, "Okay, but I want to be there. For every session."

 

"I can't do that Mr. Dun. Patient confidentiality. This isn't group therapy."

 

"Well..." Josh stood, his shoulders tense and his brow furrowed and Tyler could tell he was having a hard time accepting the idea of leaving him alone with a psychiatrist again.

 

"Josh, it's okay. I trust her."

 

"Tyler you barely know her."

 

"Please, Josh. You're the one that wanted me to do this whole head-shrinky thing and now that I've found someone I'm willing to work with you're just gonna say no?"

 

Josh looked hurt at that and Tyler instantly felt bad, "No, of course not. I just don't want to see you get hurt, Tyler. Dr. Suresh?" He turned in her direction and Tyler felt himself relax. There were definitely some questions he wanted to ask her, he was eager for their first meeting.

 

|-/

 

The door closed behind Dr. Suresh and Tyler felt a tingle of nerves run down his spine at the thought of what he’d just signed up for.

 

“Tyler…” Josh was standing in the living room still, his arms crossed tightly in front of him, “I’m… I’m so so sorry about-”

 

“Don’t.” Tyler cut him off, knowing immediately what Josh was bringing up, “ _Please_.”

 

Refusing to let himself think of the events that had unfolded earlier in the evening, Tyler brushed past Josh to tidy up the living room.

 

Josh stood still the entire time, his mouth open like he wanted to say something. Luckily, he eventually gave up on speaking and he turned to go upstairs.

 

When he was gone, Tyler sighed and chewed his lip, his gaze moving to the kitchen doorway against his will. The fresh memory of West in his space, his hand gripping his wrist and touching him invaded his head and Tyler squeezed his eyes shut angrily.

 

|-/

 

The next day was his first session with Dr. Suresh. She showed up early, shooing Josh upstairs and refusing Tyler’s offers to make tea before she was bustling around in the kitchen like it was her own.

 

They set up in the living room again, hot tea steaming in mugs on the coffee table.

 

Tyler fidgeted on the couch while Suresh pulled out a tape recorder and a pad of paper.

 

“You’re going to record this?”

 

“I record all my sessions.” She said simply, pulling on a pair of reading glasses.

 

“Okay… so how do we start?”

 

“Wherever you want.” She pressed a button on the recorder and uncapped her pen, immediately making Tyler feel stupid for agreeing to this.

 

But there was a reason he had.

 

He leaned forward, folding his arms around himself and dropping his tone so Josh might not hear, “How did you do it?”

 

She pursed her lips, crossing her wrists over the pad of paper in her lap, “Tyler, I’m hear to listen to _you_ talk. Why don’t we start with your relationship with Josh?”

 

Tyler frowned, “But… you were like me. How did you get out of it?”

 

Nadia rolled her right wrist over so that the tattoo on it was visible. Her slave barcode had a thick horizontal line running through it, proving that she was free now, an ex-slave.

 

“I will tell you… but not now. I want to hear from you first, Tyler.”

 

Sighing, Tyler shrugged his shoulders, “Josh is good to me. Too good. I probably don’t deserve him, in fact.”

 

Adjusting her glasses, Nadia leaned forward, “Oh? What makes you say that?”

 

“I don’t know… I don’t really want to talk about it. I wanted to ask you how you became free though.”

 

“Tyler,” Dr. Suresh frowned, “You agreed to do this. I can’t help you if you don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Tyler scratched absently at the back of his hand, “I just agreed to do it for Josh. He doesn’t have to know.”

 

“He really must care about you then, huh? Wouldn’t you owe it to him to at least try?”

 

Tyler just rolled his eyes, feeling defensive all of a sudden, “Yeah, but… I don’t really need your help. I’m fine, you know? Josh makes everything better. I feel safe here.”

 

“What’s different here? How does Josh make everything better?”

 

“C’mon,” Tyler muttered, not meeting Nadia’s eyes, “I know you know the answer to that question.”

 

“I want to hear it from you.”

 

Tyler fiddled with his teacup, his eyes on the faint lines encircling his wrists. It was a blessing Josh couldn’t see how many scars he had.

 

“Are you going to tell me how you became an ex-slave?”

 

“Maybe one day. But I want to listen to you first.” She countered and Tyler sighed.

 

|-/

 

Josh heard the front door shut and made himself wait a couple minutes before going downstairs.

 

“So, uh… how’d it go?” he asked the living room, knowing Tyler was still there.

 

“I dunno.” Tyler mumbled and didn’t offer much else.

 

“You think it’s helping?”

 

“Helping what Josh? My inability to function like a normal human being?”

 

“No, it’s just… like, I don’t know… you were abused.” Josh cringed at his own words. It suddenly seemed like such a terrible thing he had made Tyler do this. He hardly knew about his past yet he was trying to force this cure on him for having it.

 

“Yes. I was abused, Josh. But that’s just called being a slave. I wouldn’t expect you to know about it.”

 

“You’re right. I don’t know. …and that’s probably why you’re hating this shrink thing so much. She wouldn’t know either…”

 

“She was a slave, too.” Tyler said quietly, so quietly Josh though he’d heard wrong.

 

“She what?”

 

“Yeah, that’s why I thought it’d be okay talking to her.”

 

“… oh. But it’s not?”

 

He heard the springs creak in the couch as Tyler stood up, “I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk to anybody about this stuff.”

 

He was close to yelling so Josh just held his hands up in a placating gesture, “Okay, okay.” Maybe over time things would get better, “We can talk about something else.”

 

“Maybe later.” Tyler mumbled and Josh felt him brush past his side before he heard him climbing the stairs.

 

He chewed his lip for a moment, wondering if making Tyler seek help had been a mistake.

 

|-/

 

Tyler sat cross legged on the bed, ukulele limp in his hands.

 

One of the best things about living with Josh was how easy it was becoming to just forget about the past. He had been so busy with the _now_ , with Josh and this new life and these strange feelings.

 

But after talking to Dr. Suresh all he could do was think about the past.

 

He hadn’t told her anything. Couldn’t bring himself to do it.

 

It was all too embarrassing, too shameful.

 

He briefly wondered if she had been through what he had been through? Had she worn a red collar? Had she been powerless at the hands of sick and twisted men? Had she contemplated killing herself just to stop the pain?

 

Sometimes it was hard to believe he’d actually gone through it all. Weeks with Josh sometimes felt like years. But the scars on his body were always eager to remind him that it had all been real.

 

A thought struck him suddenly and Tyler panicked.

 

What if something happened to Josh? What if he had to go back? What if that part of his life wasn’t over?

 

Guilt flooded through Tyler like a tidal wave after these initial selfish thoughts. He wouldn’t be thinking of himself if something happened to Josh.

 

Tyler bit his lip, feeling more guilt at the way he’d brushed off Josh downstairs earlier. He had only been trying to help.

 

He set his ukulele down on the bed and left his room in search of Josh, hoping to soothe things over between them.

 

He was going down the stairs when he heard glass shatter in the direction of the kitchen, shortly followed by an expletive.

 

“Josh?”

 

His answer was a sharp hiss as he entered the kitchen to find Josh surrounded by glass and holding up a bloody thumb.

 

“Don’t move!” Tyler rushed to get the glass off the floor, noting Josh’s bare feet, “What happened?”

 

“Nothing, nothing… just, y’know being the clumsy blind guy.”

 

There were five large chunks of a drinking glass on the linoleum that Tyler carefully plucked and dropped into the trash before grabbing paper towels and wrapping them around Josh’s finger, “Hold that tight.”

 

“Thanks.” Josh muttered.

 

Tyler tapped his fingers on the counter, finding the courage in his next words, “Hey, look… I wanted to thank you.”

  
  
“Thank _me?_ Why?”

 

“For helping me. I know you’re doing all this stuff because you care. I can’t really get angry about that, can I?”

 

Josh shrugged, looking uneasy in his own kitchen, “I feel like I’ve just been pushy.”

 

Tyler took Josh’s hands in his, checking the cut on his finger, “Maybe it’s what I need. Who knows… lemme get you a band-aid.”

 

“Wait,” Josh caught Tyler’s wrist before he turned to go, “I really do care about you, Tyler.”

 

Tyler felt himself smiling at the sincerity in Josh’s voice and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, “I know. Now let me get that band-aid.”

 

He watched Josh blush as he turned to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

 

Tyler played with the zipper on his borrowed hoodie while Nadia sat patiently across from him.

 

It had been a couple weeks and he still hadn’t really delved into his past or whatever it was she wanted from him.

 

“Do you have your own clothes, Tyler?”

 

The question caught him off guard, “What, why?”

 

“It’s just, I saw Josh wearing that shirt last week, and that sweatshirt on Monday. I’m beginning to think you don’t have any clothes of your own.”

 

Tyler grinned, “Keen observation. No, I don’t.”

 

“Maybe that should be your first assignment. To go shopping for your own clothes.”

 

Tyler just shrugged. He liked wearing Josh’s. He liked the way they smelled.

 

“Hey, it beats being naked all day long.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Tyler watched Dr. Suresh jot something down in her notepad and sighed, “What? Like that wasn’t a normal for you?”

 

“We’re not talking about me, Tyler.” She adjusted her reading glasses, “So, how many owners didn’t allow you clothing?”

 

Tyler scoffed, “All of them, mostly.”

 

“How did that make you feel?”

 

“Like a fucking object, you know this.”

 

Sighing, Nadia removed her glasses and let them hang from the string around her neck, “Tyler, you keep making assumptions that I was a sex slave like you were, that I understand what you went through.”

 

His eyes shot to hers then, “You weren’t?” Being female, and attractive as she was, he’d pretty much assumed.

 

“No, I wasn’t. I was a house servant. Though I was still subjected to… the men of the household on occasion.”

 

“Oh.” God, he just felt even more alone. And dirty. What he was? What he had been trained to do? Tyler shuddered.

 

“’m sorry.” He mumbled.

 

“I’m sure what happened to me was nothing compared to what you had gone through. My masters had a few red collared slaves as well… I remember how they were treated and I was grateful I wasn’t one of them.”

 

Hearing Nadia talk about her own past gave Tyler some courage, “My… my first Master didn’t seem so bad… he taught me how to play music. The piano mostly.”

 

She made no comment, but showed she was listening, urging him to continue.

 

“Um, after what they’d trained me for in the institution I was so relieved all he wanted to do was teach me how to play piano…”

 

Tyler closed his eyes, seeing his first Master’s face behind his eyelids, he had acted so… friendly. Paternal even. His kind eyes had only been a front.

 

“I had trusted him.” Tyler whispered, “That bastard made me trust him.”

 

|-/

 

Josh was on the phone with Dr. Suresh, his tone none to pleasant, “Look, whatever happened today has him holed up in his room. He won’t talk to me, I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Josh, this is the first break through he’s actually made since we started talking. And if I’m brutally honest, things are probably going to get a little worse before they get better.”

 

“What do you mean ‘worse’?” Josh couldn’t believe what he was hearing, this psychiatrist stuff was supposed to be _helping_ Tyler.

 

“The things that happened to him… it’s not something he can ever forget, but rather something he has to learn to live with. He’s been burying and repressing these memories and bringing them out into the light again is going to take their toll on him. We just have to be patient.” Her voice was calm and understanding on the other end of the line and Josh was having a hard time staying mad at her, “You should also maybe consider buying him his own wardrobe if you don’t want him feeling like a slave. The more things he owns the more in control of his life he will feel.”

 

“Oh.” Josh hadn’t really thought about that one. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

 

“Of course it makes sense. Now stop pacing and go eat something.”

 

She hung up and Josh was left standing in the middle of his room, wondering if she was some sort of mind reader.

 

|-/

 

Tyler was nervous.

 

They were out in public, in the mall, Josh, Debby and him. He kept his head bowed, eyes on the ground in front of him, but he could still feel the stares of everyone they passed.

 

“Oh this is great, I feel like a dang seeing eye dog with you two.” Debby commented as she nudged Tyler out of people’s way, who tightened his hold on Josh, dragging him along.

 

“Here, let’s try this one.”

 

She led them into a store front and directed them to the men’s wear, already starting to sort through the clothes on the racks.

 

“I hate the mall.” Josh muttered and Tyler couldn’t agree more.

 

“Oh relax, besides we’re not here for you. We’re here for Tyler to get a brand new wardrobe.”

 

“I know, I know.” Josh muttered and adjusted his sunglasses.

 

He had said he hated the attention the glasses gave him but it caused a lot less people to bump into him and get mad about it. Plus he said it saved him an explanation when he did something particularly clumsy.

 

Tyler found a cushioned bench by the dressing rooms and led Josh over to it, “Here, there’s a seat.”

 

Josh dropped into it and groaned, “I hate shopping.”

 

“Why?” Tyler asked curious. The only shopping he remembered was going with his mom when he was little. He used to like it, she would always buy him frozen yogurt.

 

“I don’t know,” Josh shrugged, “A lot of trying on clothes that never fit and made me feel fat and sad about myself.”

 

“Fat?” Tyler laughed, “I can’t imagine you were ever fat.”

 

“I’m fat now.”

 

Tyler dropped into the seat next to him, “No you’re not. You’re all hard muscle and soft skin.”

 

Josh raised an eyebrow and Tyler immediately blushed.

 

“I mean… you’re… fit and… um-”

 

Debby stood in front of him, an armful of clothes in her hands and gave him a knowing look, “Here Tyler, try these on.”

 

“Yup. Okay.” He stood and took the clothes from her, “I’ll do that.”

 

|-/

 

Josh listened to Tyler scuttle away and smiled when Debby laughed next to him.

 

“Jeez… when are you two gonna kiss already?”

 

“Debby!”

 

“What? Is it not supposed to be obvious?”

 

“No. Not really.” He grinned, there was definitely _something_ between Tyler and him going on he just hadn’t realized it had been so transparent, “I don’t want to pressure him.”

 

“Understandable.” Debby said, “I’m just, I’m glad your happy, Josh.” She rubbed his arm affectionately, “Man, if only you could see and Tyler was less of a nervous Nelly this could have turned into quite the makeover montage!”

 

Josh just laughed beside her.

 

|-/

 

In the dressing room, Tyler stared at the bundle of pants and shirts Debby had stuffed into his arms. He didn’t even know where to start.

 

He undressed, staring at himself in the full-length mirror opposite him.

 

He looked like such a different person than the one he was just a few months ago. The bruising from that handler kicking him was almost completely faded and he no longer looked … emaciated, for lack of a better word. Skinny, yes, but healthy.

 

Tyler found himself smiling, thinking of what life with Josh had been so far. And now he was getting his own clothes.

 

He pulled the first shirt off the hanger and ran the material over his fingers. It was so soft.

 

It took a long time, longer than he thought it would, trying on each piece and looking at himself left and right in the mirror. Honestly, he didn’t think he would care this much about new clothes. But picturing himself coming home and putting them carefully inside his empty dresser gave him a warm feeling of pride.

 

Tyler ended up leaving the dressing room with almost every piece of clothing Debby had handed him.

 

She stood when he came out, “Did you like any of them?”

 

He hugged the clothes a little closer to his chest and nodded, looking down at the floral printed shirt on top with a smile.

 

“Wow, all of them?” she said disbelievingly and Tyler suddenly felt guilty. Was he not supposed to have picked this much? It dawned on him how expensive he was probably making this trip and he started to sort through the clothes, trying to decide which ones he could do without.

 

“Oh, no I don’t need them all-” he chewed his lip as he stared at a pair of black skinny jeans, “I don’t need this one…”

 

Josh laughed and stood from his spot on the little couch, “Don’t worry Ty, you can have them all.”

 

“But, I have a lot here and-”

 

“No, it’s perfectly fine. You can have them all. Money doesn’t matter here, okay?”

 

“…okay.” He bit back a grin, still feeling guilty but beyond giddy at the fact that he was actually getting everything in his arms, “Thanks Josh.”

 

Josh smiled warmly at him, his eyes squinting they way they did when it was a genuine smile, “No problem.”

 

“Aw, yay!” Debby chirped between them and took the clothes from Tyler to cash them out, “Well if money isn’t a problem we should hit up a few more stores! Right Joshie?” She giggled and Josh groaned.

 

|-/

 

The door shut behind them and Josh fell back against it, breathing out a sigh of relief.

 

“Home sweet home.” He took his sunglasses off and chucked them somewhere in the direction of the living room. He heard a dull thump when they landed on carpet.

 

They had spent almost four hours at the mall, Debby pushing them around here and there, throwing clothes at Tyler and Josh’s money at the cashiers.

 

Not that he really cared, it was disability money and he never spent it on anything besides bills anyway. Plus it was for Tyler and it made Josh feel good.

 

But man did he hate leaving his house.

 

He was beginning to think he had agoraphobia.

 

The rustle of shopping bags met his ears as Tyler set them all down somewhere in the foyer, “Thank you Josh. For all the clothes. I mean, it’s a lot. Like a lot a lot.”

 

Josh just smiled, “You already thanked me. And, you’re welcome. Again. It’s important you have your own stuff y’know.”

 

“I feel bad for making you leave the house. I could tell you weren’t enjoying it.”

 

He barked a humorless laugh, “I only complained about it the whole time. Nah, but its okay. I did it for you. And I’d do it again if you asked me to.”

 

“Well, gee. I feel special.” Tyler said coyly and Josh just pictured a silly image of him with his hands twined behind his back, foot tracing an invisible line in front of him.

 

He grinned and fought back a bubble of giddy laughter at the imagery.

 

Everything was good. He was back home with Tyler. No shopping mall, no head shrink and no drama to come between them at the moment. Just the pleasantly warm tickle that Tyler usually gave him buzzing away in his stomach.

 

 _I want to kiss him_.

 

The thought flashed through his mind like an old theater marquee, loud and urgent. It surprised him how suddenly it came, how demanding it was.

 

He fought with himself for a moment, his limbs moving toward Tyler on their own accord while his head adamantly reminded him that this was a bad, bad idea. 

 

“Tyler,” he heard himself say and his hands reached, wanting to touch, wanting to hold. Wanting Tyler's warm and pliant body held beneath his palms.

 

He felt Tyler’s hands gently take his, “What is it?”

 

Josh felt at war with himself, torn in two directions. Tyler was so close, his smell was intoxicating, his soft hands warm and solid in his own. It wouldn't take much, to pull Tyler forward, into his arms and plant a kiss right on those soft lips. God he wanted it.

 

He groaned and let go, backing up a step, “Nothing. Nevermind.”

 

He’d told himself he was going to let Tyler initiate anything that happened between them. Josh would just have to wait. Maybe forever.

 

“I’m … gonna go shower.” He said lamely and turned to go upstairs.

 

“Okay…” Tyler sounded a little puzzled, “Well, I’ll make dinner. So, come down when you’re finished.”

 

Josh just nodded, shuffling his way up the staircase.

 

|-/

 

Tyler stood in the foyer, his lips pressed thinly together as he replayed the last few moments with Josh in his head. It had seemed like Josh wanted to hug him or maybe even kiss him and Tyler would be lying to himself if he thought he didn’t want it.

 

Well, mostly. The idea of doing anything intimate with Josh terrified him almost as much as it excited him.

 

But Josh’s touches were always so gentle, so caring and he made Tyler feel so safe and cared for. How could he not want more of that?

 

He was about to turn and go into the kitchen to make dinner when he spotted the shopping bags on the floor in front of him. He remembered the thought he'd had in the dressing room, how good it was going to feel just to do something as simple as put away his own clothes.

 

Grabbing them, Tyler made his way up the stairs and to the guest room to put them away. He was just passing the bathroom door when he heard his name spoken underneath the spray of the showerhead.

 

He stopped, pausing to listen in case he’d misheard. Then Josh was saying his name louder, on a pinched moan that sounded like he was in pain.

 

Tyler didn’t hesitate to swing the door open, his eyes searching the bathroom as he expected Josh to be on the ground hurt or something, “Josh?” He called worriedly and was about to yank the shower curtain back when Josh interrupted him,  
  
“ _Tyler_? Whatareyoudoinginhere?” he cried quickly, his throat sounding tight.

 

“Are you okay? I thought you were hurt, I heard you call my…” The words died on his lips as Tyler processed what had actually been going on under the shower spray and he suddenly felt mortified at bursting in the way he had, “Oh… uh, gosh, I’m sorry. I’ll go. I thought you were… nevermind. I’m sorry. I’m leaving.”

 

He babbled on his way out and shut the door, throwing a palm over his mouth and feeling utterly embarrassed.

 

Tyler hurried to his room to put his new clothes away, the action nothing but a chore, and then went down into the kitchen to make dinner, the entire time his mind supplying him with rated R images of Josh in the shower.

 

Dinner was going to be awkward.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I don't reply to all the comments but I just wanted to say a huge Thank you!! to everybody that takes the time to write something - they mean the world to me and they're always the fuel that keeps me writing. Thank you so much guys for continuing to enjoy this story :)
> 
> !!!TW for this chapter!!! and probably for a lot more after this. Underage rape.

Dinner was painfully awkward.

 

Josh could feel the burn in his face and knew that his cheeks had to be tinged red enough for Tyler to see.

 

His own stupid voice, moaning Tyler’s name, was playing on repeat in his head. And Tyler had heard it, heard _him_. Oh god… he wanted to run upstairs and hide in his room.

 

Josh’s ears felt hot as his blush probably grew.

 

The kitchen was deathly quiet. Just the sound of their forks poking food around on their plates. Neither one of them was eating.

 

“I’m really sorry… about before.” Tyler said, breaking the quiet of the kitchen and it took all of Josh’s will power not to bury his face in his hands.

 

Instead, he surprised himself by laughing, albeit, a little hysterically, “It’s fine, but let’s just … never speak of it again. Okay?” He asked hopefully and heard Tyler snort a laugh in return.

 

Then Josh _did_ cover his face in his palms, “Oh my _God_ , Tyler.” He groaned miserably, his shoulders beginning to shake as laughter from both of them filled the room.

 

 

After dinner, Josh helped Tyler clean as best he could, handing him plates and letting their fingers linger over the porcelain.

 

If their budding romance, or whatever the hell it was between them, wasn’t out in the open before, it seemed that it was now.

 

There was no hiding his attraction for Tyler, but Josh still vowed he wouldn’t push things too far or try and move things too quickly. But he hoped that eventually something more physical would develop between the two of them.

 

For now, Tyler appeared to accept their new closeness as he moved around Josh in the kitchen. A silent agreement made in the way he let his palm rest on Josh’s lower back as he brushed past or the way he let their arms press together as they washed and dried dishes at the sink.

 

There was suddenly some sort of electricity between them as they worked collectively, their touches feeling natural yet exciting. And as badly as Josh wanted to kiss Tyler right then and there he forced himself to dry the last plate and return dutifully to his room, thanking Tyler for dinner before he went.

 

Dr. Suresh was on her way.

 

|-/

 

Tyler was buzzing with energy. Him busting in on Josh in the shower had somehow been the thing that broke the camel’s back around here. Maybe it was the fact that Josh had liked him so much, but was unwilling to push to the point that he ran and hid in the shower that confirmed to Tyler how much different Josh was.

 

After years of people simply grabbing him and using him none too kindly for their pleasure, it was hard to believe anybody that wanted him could actually control themselves. That Josh cared enough about him that he tip toed around the matter.

 

It felt easier then, offering Josh simple touches in the kitchen. He had so much trust in the man that it felt almost natural to do.

 

He stared across the couch at Nadia as she pulled out her notebook and tape recorder and sighed.

 

Tyler was happy right now, the last thing he felt like doing was talking about when he wasn’t.

 

“Okay.” She said as she clicked the record button on the machine and sat up to adjust her glasses, “Anything in particular you’d like to talk about today, Tyler?”

 

He sighed again, adding a little groan to it, “Not really.”

 

“Last session you opened up to me about your first Master. Master Holmes.” She gently probed.

 

Tyler found his eyes on the staircase; he wanted to be with Josh.

 

Nadia waited patiently while he let go of his good mood, while he let black memories flood his mind like a dark fog.

 

“Master Holmes.” He said bitterly, “bought me when I was fifteen… and a virgin.” He added.

 

He could still picture the old man’s house. Mansion, really. He had been incredibly wealthy.

 

“The institution trained me to be a good slave. To keep my head bowed, to only speak when spoken to and to be always obedient and subservient to my Master. I had no one. My mother had passed only eight months before and the thought of running away seemed absurd. I had nowhere to go. How bad could slavery be? That’s what I thought.” Tyler shook his head, “Maybe I should have tried to run back then. Before they ruined me.”

 

“They?” Dr. Suresh asked quietly.

 

“They, the trainers, Master Holmes, Master Donavan, Master Olenski, Master Neal…” He rattled them off, each one bitter like acid on his tongue.

 

“Anyway, Master Holmes-”

 

“You don’t have to call them Master here, Tyler. They no longer own you.” Nadia said.

 

“Um… _Holmes_ ,” he felt himself wanting to grin a bit, it did feel good to drop the title, “Holmes didn’t touch me for the first six months. He taught me music, piano, drums, ukulele and some others. I took well to the uke and the piano. He even continued my education, had teachers come in for math, English, history, science.” Tyler looked down at his hands, his thumb idly running over a scar on his palm, “Then one night he took me into his bedroom. Started to undress me. I was so shocked that for a moment I’d forgotten what I was. I pulled away from him, yelled at him and he slapped me so hard I thought I saw stars.”

 

Tyler dropped his hands in favor of crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back against the couch.

 

“He forced me to take him in his mouth that night. Mas- um, _Holmes_ , his face, it was the first time I’d seen him look cruel. It felt like such a betrayal. I mean, I had grown to trust this guy. To look up to him. I saw him like a _father_ to me and he-” his jaw worked tensely as he fought back the lump in his throat, “I had hoped, after that night, that things would go back to normal. Back to the music lessons and the math classes and so on. But, they all kind of just stopped. Soon I became a permanent fixture in his bedroom. He would spend the night taking off my clothes, touching me, making me touch him. I hated it.” Tyler growled the words out, “I _hated_ his touch. I hated the way he made me feel. Dirty. …worthless.”

 

He sniffed and blinked angrily, tears threatening to spill, “Holmes fucked me on my sixteenth birthday.” He bit tersely, “He said it was my present.” Tyler swallowed, staring through blurry eyes at the beige carpet in the living room, “It hurt. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”

 

Tyler fell quiet, his head filled with painful memories.

 

Nadia’s voice was gentle, “If you want to stop for today we can. You did great, Tyler.”

 

|-/

 

Josh was listening to music in his room, waiting for Tyler’s session to be over. He hoped they could pick up where they left off in the kitchen.

 

After an hour, he turned his music off and made his way downstairs, “Tyler?” It was silent in the living room.

 

Josh went back upstairs and knocked lightly on Tyler’s door, “Tyler?” he realized that Tyler might want to be alone, especially if this session had gone anything like the previous one. Tyler had stayed holed up in his room for hours after that.

 

Everything was quiet behind the wood door and Josh felt his heart give a nervous little jolt, “Tyler, if you want to be left alone that’s fine, just let me know you’re here.” _That you’re okay._

 

Muffled through the door, “Come in, Josh.”

 

Josh relaxed slightly at the sound of Tyler’s voice before he turned the knob and let himself in.

 

“So, how did it go?”

 

Tyler gave a loud sniff and his voice was thick like he had a cold, “Fine.”

 

Josh played with the hem of his shirt, wanting to ask Tyler what they’d talked about, wanting to hug Tyler and give him comfort, but instead he just said, “I’m sorry.”

 

There was another wet sniff, then the creaking of the mattress before Tyler said, “C’mere.”

 

Hesitantly, Josh shuffled forward before stopping somewhere in front of the bed. He was about to say something, words of comfort, consoling advice, he didn’t know, but Tyler grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the bed.

 

He sat down, facing Tyler's direction with a worried expression.

 

“Thank you.” Tyler said simply and Josh felt a heavy weight on his shoulder, Tyler’s soft hair tickling his cheek.

 

Josh wanted to turn and hold him, but he sat still, his shoulder would have to be enough, “For what?”

 

He felt his hand picked up and cradled in Tyler’s, “For being you.”

 

Silence passed over them then. Tyler played with Josh’s fingers, gently caressing them while the smell of coconut shampoo clouded Josh’s senses.

 

They sat like that until Josh’s back began to hurt and Tyler felt like leaded weight pushing on his shoulder. He adjusted slightly, trying to ease the bite of pain in his back and Tyler sat up, letting go of his hands and Josh wanted to take it back, wishing he’d just suffered a few moments longer for Tyler’s touch.

 

Next to him, Tyler cleared his throat. His warmth was quickly fading and leaving Josh’s hands and shoulder cold.

 

“It’s late.” Tyler said quietly.

 

“Oh.” Josh replied dumbly and stood from the bed, rolling his shoulders and stretching his back, “Well, goodnight then.”

 

He was about to turn away when Tyler reached out and took his hand, thumb pressing into Josh’s wrist and he wondered if Tyler could feel his pulse.

 

“Would you… I mean, do you wanna… stay?”

 

The question caught him off guard, “Uh, sure, let me go get some blankets-”

 

“No,” Tyler’s grip on his wrist tightened, “I meant… in the bed. With me. But just sleep.” He said hastily.

 

He was breathing quickly, Josh could hear it. Fast little breaths through parted lips, “Ty- you sure you’re okay with that?”

 

Josh’s hand was pulled forward before it came to rest on a soft jaw. Tyler’s face was tilted up, looking at him from the bed, “I trust you.”

 

Carefully, Josh’s thumb swiped over Tyler’s cheekbone, the skin there felt warm and flushed and Josh remembered the wet sniffles from earlier.

 

“Okay.” He said and Tyler took his wrist again, shuffling back on the bed and pulling Josh with him.

 

Once they were settled beneath the covers, Tyler muttered a goodnight and Josh numbly replied. They weren’t touching but they were close enough that Josh could feel Tyler’s body heat radiating next to him like a furnace.

 

He stayed awake for a long time, restraining himself from reaching over and spooning Tyler like he wanted.

 

|-/

 

Tyler woke curled up in the fetal position, the bow of his back pressed up against something warm and solid.

 

 _Josh_.

 

He looked behind himself, neck craning to see Josh in a similar position on the bed, his back and butt pressed up against Tyler’s. The image made him smirk.

 

Careful not to wake the other, Tyler scooted himself out of bed and to the bathroom to shower. Josh had been a perfect gentleman last night and Tyler found himself wanting to ask Josh to share again tonight.

 

As he showered, his hands running soapy suds over his skin, he briefly thought about yesterday. About barging in on Josh in the shower and about what he had been doing.

 

His hands were on his ribcage, but Tyler stared down at his member, looking small amidst the short curls of pubic hair.

 

He used to keep himself shaved down there, for his other Master’s, but it had since grown out.

 

Experimentally, he brought his hands down to hold himself, lathering the delicate skin with soap. He couldn’t say he ever enjoyed masturbating. His dick was often a tool for others to use, and harshly he might add. Master Holmes had gotten him off but it had rarely felt pleasurable.

 

And Master Olenski only let him cum when he was being humiliated or in pain. The others ignored it completely.

 

Tyler tried stroking himself, but stopped when he only felt shame in doing so.

 

He panicked for a moment, wondering what Josh would do if he found out. If they ever became intimate. If Josh would even notice.

 

Letting the showerhead rinse the soap from his body, Tyler tried to squash down the anxiety rising in him. Who said their relationship would even get to that? Maybe they would just hug for the rest of the time.

 

Tyler hung his head under the spray, who was he kidding? Josh wanted him, wanted his body, wanted to fuck him. And, in time, he thought he’d be willing to give that to Josh, but right now it terrified him. He just needed Josh to stay patient a little bit longer.

 

He turned off the shower and got out to towel himself dry. Wiping steam from the mirror Tyler stared at his reflection, he wasn’t being very fair. Josh had already been patient for so long. He’d given Tyler so much in the past couple weeks, freedom, clothes, courage.

 

His hair stood up in wet disheveled little spikes and Tyler ran a hand through it.

 

He’d been well fed and cared for. Mentally and physically. Josh was being unbelievably generous all the while suffering with his own demons and what had Tyler done for him? Emptied his wallet? Eaten his food? Invaded his personal space?

 

Tyler huffed, his breath re-fogging the bathroom mirror. He was being selfish.

 

He crept back into the bedroom, noting Josh was still asleep and stared at the large wooden dresser only half filled with his own clothes. Tyler debated whether or not he should put any clothes on before he climbed back into bed in just his towel, lying down carefully next to Josh.

 

Josh was spread out on his back now, his head turned to face Tyler and the latter watched. He studied the tendons that stood out in Josh’s neck and the faint throb of his pulse beneath the skin.

 

Warmth emanated from Josh’s body and Tyler shivered in his towel, feeling goosebumps prickle on his arms.

 

He stared at Josh’s lips, debating whether or not he should go for it.

 

In his sleep, Josh let out a soft little noise, snuggling deeper into his pillow.

 

Tyler leaned down, his lips just brushing Josh’s and he dared to move them in a small kiss, heart thudding in his ears.

 

Josh inhaled, pulling away and blinking his eyes awake, “Tyler?” He slurred and Tyler made himself lean in again, this time his hand reaching up to cup at Josh’s prickly jaw.

 

Josh made a muffled noise of surprise and for a second he kissed back before he found and held Tyler’s wrist, sitting himself up against the headboard.

 

“Tyler, what are you doing?”

 

“Please,” Tyler spoke softly, his heart slamming against his ribcage at this point, “I want to.”

 

It wasn’t a lie. He was doing this as a thank you, but also because he wanted to.

 

He leaned in one last time, lips finding Josh’s and they kissed hesitantly, gently.

 

Master Holmes used to kiss him but it was nothing like this. His kisses had been forceful and wet. His long mustache getting in Tyler’s mouth all the time.

 

Tyler mentally berated himself, shoving the ugly memory out of his head and focusing on Josh’s smooth lips and warm breath.

 

Josh’s arm wormed itself around his shoulders then, his bicep hot against Tyler’s chilly skin.

 

“You’re cold.” Josh mumbled into the kiss and pulled him closer until he was flush against his body. Josh stilled then, his grip loosening as he pulled his face back.

 

Tyler panicked, he was shivering and he didn’t know if it was because of his nerves or because he was half naked or both, “W-what is it?”

 

Josh’s hand slid down his back until it rested on the edge of the towel, “Ty… what’s going on?” he sounded so pained that Tyler instantly felt guilty.

 

“It’s okay.” He rushed to say and he wanted to reach for Josh but felt himself holding back.

 

“I told you, I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” Josh let go of him and sat up taller in the bed, “You’re shaking.”

 

“I’m cold.” He rushed to say.

 

“Why aren’t you wearing anything?”

 

“Josh- I want this, okay?”

 

“You don’t.” Josh countered and Tyler for a moment felt angry at that, at Josh putting words in his mouth.

 

“I do! I’ve been so selfish and you’ve been so kind-”

 

“Tyler,” Josh bit out and Tyler shrunk back at the sharp edge in his voice, “You can’t offer yourself up as some kind of thank you package. You don’t owe me anything, I don’t want you doing this to yourself. I don’t _need_ something physical from you if you aren’t one-hundred and ten percent sure you’re willing to give it to me.”

 

“But I am. I’m not just …offering myself as a thank you. Josh… I feel so safe with you. So comfortable. And happy and… I find myself feeling attracted to you, mentally, emotionally… physically. I like when we’re together and I know you want more-”

 

“Tyler.” Josh warned.

 

“What? What you want doesn’t matter? That’s bullshit, Josh.”

 

Tyler felt his heart lodged in his throat and paused to gain composure, his next words came out a little thicker than intended, “I really care about you. What you want matters. To me. And I _want_ to give it to you.”

 

“When you’re ready.” Josh added seriously.

 

“And I am.”

 

They both seemed to be at a stalemate with each other. Fuming silently about the other’s needs.

 

Josh sighed, breaking the tension, “Well… if you really want this. Then fine. But, let’s take it slow. And you can back out whenever you want. Okay?”

 

Tyler breathed, “Okay.”

 

“So. Hug?” he smiled.

 

Tyler did too, and leaned in for a hug, Josh’s warm calloused palms rubbing along his back.

 

Or they did for a minute before Tyler felt Josh’s intake of breath and the exploratory route of Josh’s fingers, “Tyler-?”

 

His face in the crook of Josh’s neck, Tyler sighed through his nose, hating that the moment was already ruined, “Whipping scars.” He said simply.

 

Josh hugged him a little tighter, fingers gently tracing the diagonal lines down his back, “I’m so sorry.”

 

“I know.” Tyler just said.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everybody for all the comments and the kudos! holy cow so many kudos

They were on to Master number two, Donovan.

 

It was weird telling somebody every tiny detail of his repulsive life as a whore to freemen. But it was also oddly liberating. Like every time he told a piece of the story it lost a little bit of its weight.

 

Where Holmes had been a pedophile and a creep, earning his trust only to destroy it and kissing him like they had been lovers, Donovan was a sadist.

 

Tyler had learned not to trust so eagerly with Holmes. He had also learned the pain and degradation behind being made for nothing more than fucking.

 

But for all the gross things Holmes had done to him it had never taken much more than some manipulation, a well timed slap and some manhandling to get him to obey when he was being particularly difficult.

 

Tyler had learned from Donovan how dangerous it was to be a slave, to just exist in the presence of a freeman, no matter how well he obeyed.

 

As he talked, his every word recorded by Dr. Suresh’s machine, Tyler felt himself reliving the basement.

 

It was a cold and dank place, smelling of blood and Clorox. He was naked and chained to the fixtures bolted into the wall. He was eighteen and terrified he’d never live to be a day older.

 

Master Donovan was a hulking man, with shoulders almost too wide to fit through a doorframe, fists almost the size of Tyler’s face.

 

Donovan got off on pain. To the point where Tyler almost begged to be fucked instead of taking another cane to his back, knife up under his fingernails or a heavy boot to his gut.

 

But Tyler was remembering this particular day with clarity, the day he’d died.

 

Master Donovan had left him chained in the basement like that for over eight hours, his muscles numb and lifeless.

 

“You hungry, boy?” He had leered at Tyler, knowing he hadn’t fed his slave in over three days.

 

Donovan had unlocked his shackles, letting him fall boneless to the floor, his muscles eventually came screaming back to life leaving Tyler writhing in agony on the cold cement of the basement.

 

“Shut up!” Donovan had howled, kicking his head almost hard enough to give him a concussion. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

 

“S-sorry, Master.” Tyler had ground out, trying to bite back the noises of pain he so desperately wanted to make.

 

“I asked if you were hungry.” Donovan barked and Tyler tried to focus on the beast towering over him, tried to make sense of his words while his muscles were licked by fire and his head thudded sluggishly, painfully with his heartbeat.

 

“Yess Masster.” Tyler had slurred, knowing it was what the man wanted to hear. Knowing that he was just being facetious about getting his dick sucked.

 

But it was always better than the pain and the torture so Tyler struggled to pull himself up on his knees as his Master sauntered over and gripped the back of his hair, yanking until Tyler’s neck cracked loudly, the long pale column of his throat stretched obscenely.

 

Donovan undid his belt and zipper, pushing his pants down and using the grip on the back of Tyler’s head to pull him onto his dick.

 

At this point in his short life, Tyler had the motions down to a T. His movements were mechanical, a blowjob was just that, a job.

 

Of course it was always easier said than done to separate himself from the act completely. The feel, the taste, the stench, that stuff stayed with him, keeping him awake for it, keeping him aware.

 

Tyler was concentrating on the painful grip Donovan had in his hair in favor of disconnecting himself from the task at hand. His Master was groaning above him, thrusting faster, harder and Tyler gagged loudly on his member, his back bowing with the force of it

 

“Hey,” Donovan growled, moving both his hands to wrap around Tyler’s throat and squeezing painfully, “You take what I give you.”

 

He continued his fucking, hips snapping back only to slam himself brutally back into Tyler, his massive hands tightening around Tyler’s throat to the point where Tyler’s vision started to wane.

 

Panic seized him then, adrenaline shooting through his veins like electricity as his hands came up to grab his Master’s wrists and pull in an attempt to free his airway.

 

But his struggle went unnoticed to the bear of a man holding him down and Tyler quickly felt the energy in his body draining, the world fading from view and a part of him was relieved.

 

“He’d strangled you to death.” Nadia gasped, her professional demeanor slipping.

 

Tyler nodded, “When I came back he was giving me CPR. Then he punished me for almost dying,” Tyler chuckled humorlessly, remembering the flogging he’d received for it.

 

Dr. Suresh seemed at a loss for words.

 

“I have Donovan to thank for about ninety percent of the scars on my body.” Tyler said as an after thought. Remembering Josh’s touch to the scars on his back.

 

Nadia closed her notebook, “Well, we’re done for today then,” She said chastely, shutting off her tape recorder, “And I hope that bastard dies a painful death followed by eternity in hell.” She added and Tyler grinned.

 

“Me too, sister.”

 

|-/

 

A routine was quickly developing between Josh and Tyler. On the days that he had therapy, Tyler would retreat to his bedroom, sullen and quiet. But he was starting to take Josh with him, pulling him into the bed and curling up to him like a body pillow.

 

It was bittersweet for Josh. He loved every close moment he had with the boy but hated the reasons why.

 

Dr. Suresh had left about an hour ago and Josh was lying pliant on the bed, Tyler pressed up along his side, his head on Josh’s shoulder.

 

He was doing something to Josh’s shirt, plucking at it aimlessly and Josh resisted the urge to grab his hand to stop him.

 

Normally, after a session, they would stay like this for hours until one or both of them dozed off. But today, Tyler broke the silence.

 

“Do you ever think about freeing me?”

 

Josh, taken aback by the question, took a moment to think about it and realized, guiltily, that he hadn’t, “Of course.” He lied.

 

“I mean, Nadia’s a certified psychiatrist now. She used to be a house slave. Maybe I could be something.”

 

“What do you want to be?”

 

He felt Tyler’s shrug, “A musician or something. Maybe I could play piano in one of those fancy hotels or like, a restaurant.”

 

Josh’s hand tightened on where it rested on Tyler’s shoulder, did that mean he wanted to leave? Really, this shouldn’t have surprised him. Freedom was probably all Tyler thought about and Josh had been too stupid to consider it. He had pictured Tyler living in his house with him forever, growing old together.

 

Of course Tyler didn’t want that. He wanted his own life. Josh would have to be the most selfish man on the planet not to give it to him if he could.

 

“Josh?”

 

He relaxed his grip on Tyler, coming back to himself, “What, um, how does it work? Freeing a slave?”

 

Tyler shrugged again, “I don’t really know. Probably a lot of money. I don’t expect you to, Josh, it might be impossible for you to do. I just wondered if you’d thought about it.”

 

“Oh.” He had money. He wondered if Tyler would visit if he let him go.

 

He felt Tyler shifting around then, the pressure on his chest as Tyler rolled half on top of him.

 

“Did you want to kiss me, Josh?” he said, his voice a mere few inches from his face.

 

 _Always_ , was the answer that rang through Josh’s head, “Only if you want me to.” He said aloud.

 

Then his mouth was met with Tyler’s soft, silky lips, gently parting to let their warm breath mingle. His hands moved on their own accord, one resting on the heated skin of Tyler’s neck and the other was low on Tyler’s back.

 

Josh fell into the kiss with his mind blissfully numb, his body doing all the thinking and his tongue slipped into Tyler’s mouth, wanting to taste him, feel him.

 

But Tyler pulled back instantly and Josh was left babbling apologies.

 

“No, it’s okay. I… I’ve just never kissed anyone like this before. It’s new.” Tyler spoke and Josh licked at his lips, missing the contact.

 

“We can stop if you want.” Josh said and hoped Tyler would disagree.

 

“Yeah, maybe.” Tyler replied and Josh felt him sliding down off his chest, coming to curl his back up against Josh’s ribcage.

 

Josh followed his movements, turning on his side to spoon behind him, flush with his back and buttox-

 

“Oh!” Tyler cried and his warmth left Josh.

 

“What? What is it?”

 

“Sorry, your- your um... a little excited?” Tyler mumbled, “I wasn’t expecting it.”

 

Josh blushed, the ache between his legs had been mostly ignored on his part, “Oh, sorry.” He felt his cheeks grow hot and he sat up to rearrange himself, pulling the bottom of his shorts taut to try and hide his erection, “Sorry…”

 

Oh it was awkward. Oh, so awkward.

 

Josh’s dick needed to stop embarrassing him.

 

“Um,” Tyler spoke up and from the sound of it he was off the bed, practically on the other side of the room, “You hungry? I was thinking of ordering a pizza? Or something.”

 

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

 

“K, um. I’m gonna go downstairs and order.”

 

He listened to Tyler’s abrupt exit before letting his head fall back onto the headboard with a dull thump.

 

|-/

 

 _Oh my god_ , Tyler thought miserably to himself, _what is wrong with me?_

 

Somebody’s cock pressed to his ass shouldn’t have him shying away like a blushing virgin, it was hardly the first time. But of course he had to make it super awkward.

 

It was just so alien for him to feel anything sexual coming from Josh. Josh was his safe haven. Josh was his respite from his life as a bedslave.

 

The kissing thing was definitely new and foreign. He’d never _really_ kissed anyone. Master Holmes’ forced efforts not counting.

 

He’d never had someone kiss him so gently, so lovingly before. It made his lips feel tingly and his heart flutter weightlessly in his chest.

 

Tyler smiled at the memory, he couldn’t believe this was where he was now. It still seemed like a fairytale to him, waking up in a warm bed, sometimes with Josh sleeping soundly next to him. His Master.

 

Tyler bit back a laugh at that thought, _Master Dun_ , it sounded so absurd.

 

Josh was no more his master than Tyler was his slave. They were friends. More than friends.

 

Reaching for the takeout menus in the kitchen Tyler briefly wondered if Josh loved him. He picked up the phone to dial Marco’s place and listened to it ring, wondering if he loved Josh.

 

 

After ordering a pizza Tyler set the phone back in its cradle, busying himself with wiping down counters in the kitchen.

 

About ten or fifteen minutes had passed when he heard a knock on the front door.

 

“Wow,” he muttered, looking at the clock on the stove, _that was fast._

 

He made his way to the front door, swinging it open and busying himself with counting the cash in his hands, “How much?” he asked without really looking up.

 

“Miss me?” the voice was dark and familiar and it had Tyler’s head whipping up, his blood running cold at the sight.

 

“ _Doctor West?_ ” He was about to ask what the man was doing here when West reached out, something small and black in his hands.

 

A sharp prick met Tyler’s neck and a moment later his muscles were locking, the buzz of West’s taser loud in his ears.

 

He felt himself collapsing into West’s arms and panic laced itself through his veins as the man started to drag him out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun - no pun intended


	12. Chapter 12

 

Tyler was scared.

 

Okay, scared wasn’t the word.

 

Tyler was fucking terrified.

 

Dr. West had thrown him in his trunk like a piece of luggage, slamming the lid shut and encasing him in blackness.

 

The car was moving, its engine rumbling the dirty carpet of the trunk beneath him. Tyler searched for a way out, through the back of the seats, a latch somewhere on the door, anything. But the car was an old model and it had no emergency levers or ways to escape at all.

 

He couldn’t believe this was happening. Tyler kept squeezing his eyes shut, praying that when he opened them he would be back home with Josh.

 

But every time he peeked through his eyelids the dark interior of the trunk met him instead.

 

His heart was thudding deep in his throat, hard enough to choke him it seemed. This couldn’t be happening.

 

He felt the car turn, sliding him toward the left side of the trunk, bumping into something hard. Tyler felt around for it, lifting the heavy object in his hands.

 

A wrench.

 

His fingers tightened around the object, ready to use it as a weapon the second West opened the trunk.

 

Tyler’s thoughts drifted to Josh and his throat tightened painfully.

 

Would he ever see him again?

 

|-/

 

Josh stopped halfway down the stairs.

 

“Tyler?”

 

The house was quiet. And he didn’t smell any pizza.

 

But he’d heard someone at the door?

 

Josh descended the rest of the stairs, his foot catching on something in the foyer, making him slide. Catching his balance, Josh leaned down and felt along the floor, his fingers making contact with some paper.

 

 _Money._  

 

So who had been at the door if it wasn’t the food?

 

“Tyler?” Josh called louder, dread slowly settling in his stomach, “ _Tyler_ _?_ ”

 

He went from room to room, calling Tyler’s name, before he found himself out in his driveway screaming at the top of his lungs, “TYLER!?”

 

Nobody answered.

 

Josh dug his phone out, “Call nine-one-one.”

 

 

A car pulled up alongside the policeman’s cruiser, door slamming open and shut before Josh heard Debby’s worried voice, “Josh? How are you?”

 

She leaned down to where he was sitting on his porch steps, embracing him in a tight hug.

 

“He’s gone.” Josh sobbed, tears had been running unchecked down his face for the last hour or so, “They searched the house and he’s nowhere. Said he probably ran away. Debby, he _wouldn’t_. Somebody _took_ him.”

 

“Who?” she sat next to him, “Who would have taken him?”

 

He scoffed, “I have no idea.”

 

A police officer came out of the house then, her boots clicking loudly on the porch, “Mr. Dun, if you’d like to file for a runaway you can do that with the SEA. Unfortunately, I can’t help you anymore here.”

 

Josh felt Debby stand up beside him, “Wait, I know Tyler. And Josh is right, he wouldn’t have run away. Somebody had to have kidnapped him or something.”

 

“Ma’am, there was no forced entry, no evidence of any kind to speak of that tells me Mr. Dun’s slave would have been kidnapped. With no enemies he can think of all we have here is a blind man and a slave who saw an opportunity.”

 

“Then why didn’t he take the money?” Josh asked, furious that he was getting no help from this woman, “There was money on the floor, why wouldn’t he take it if he was running away?”

 

“Mr. Dun, I’m sorry. Call the SEA, they can help you better than I can.” He heard her moving back to her car then, “Maybe next time you should have your slave chipped.”

 

He heard her get into the cruiser before turning on the engine and driving away.

 

Josh buried his face in his hands and tried to think, who could have done this.

 

“What about his therapist? You think she had anything to do with it?”

 

“No,” Josh waved his hand dismissively in the air. He’d already called and spoken with Dr. Suresh, not because he was suspicious of her but because he didn’t know who else to talk to. She was shocked and saddened by the news, her voice breaking over the line, “No, she wouldn’t do this.”

 

“We’ll get him back, Josh,” Debby said beside him and Josh wasn’t so sure.

 

“How?” he asked but only silence followed his question.

 

|-/

 

The car came to a lurching stop, engine idling for a moment before it was cut.

 

Tyler held his breath, the wrench tight in his fist.

 

But when the trunk popped open he was blinded by the afternoon sun and panicked, swinging the wrench in a wide arc and hoping for the best.

 

“Woah, now!” Dr. West exclaimed and Tyler felt his wrists seized, the wrench yanked from his grasp, “Careful with that thing, boy!”

 

Tyler squinted as West hauled him up by his wrists. A wide field came into view, the edge of a forest looming in the distance.

 

“What do you want with me?” Tyler asked and let himself be dragged out of the trunk and around the car until they were facing a one story ranch house.

 

“Well, Tyler… It was Tyler, wasn’t it?”

 

Tyler ignored him, his neck craning around to look at the property, there were no other houses in sight. Just the long stretch of fields that eventually led into woods on one side and a long dirt road on the other.

 

“After your Master kicked me out of your house I got a little resentful. The prospect of giving therapy sessions to a slave? God it sounded too perfect. I wanted it.”

 

West tugged on his wrists and led them up to the porch, feeling in his pockets for keys to the house.

 

“I wanted it so bad that I couldn’t look at my patient’s the same again.”

 

He turned the key in the lock and swung the door open, revealing a very modern yet cozy expanse of a room. There was an open kitchen overlooking the living room, leather couches and a huge stone hearth. Furs decorated the furniture and floor, deer heads and a large bear sat quietly on the walls, in the corner, their marble eyes staring.

 

“I lost my license. Lost my wife too when she found out that I’d fucked one of ‘em.”

 

Tyler turned to look at West with wide eyes, he’d assaulted a patient? A freeman patient?

 

“That’s right,” He said, scowling at Tyler and dragged him to a wooden door by the kitchen, throwing it open and revealing a dark staircase, “I had this gorgeous little thing, right there on my couch. Blond, tan, all skin and thighs. She was taunting me. So I took her.”

 

“Sh-shouldn’t you be in jail?” Tyler asked and West just glared at him before giving him a shove.

 

Tyler cried out as he fell down the stairs, his arms coming up to shield his head as his hips and back took the brunt of it.

 

He laid at the bottom of the staircase, pulse throbbing in his side as West descended the staircase slowly, “I don’t like the way you’ve been treated, _slave_. You need to learn your place.”

 

Tyler sat up, scooting himself backward as West came nearer, “You can’t do this,” He said unevenly, his voice breaking with fear, “I have a Master.”

 

“You have _nothing_!” West screamed at him, lunging forward to grab him by the shirt collar, “That blind bitch didn’t know what to do with you. Didn’t understand how to take care of a slave. He didn’t _deserve_ you.”

 

Tyler swallowed, his eyes glancing away from West’s face to take in the basement. It was huge. There was a large table in the middle of the room and tools all along the side of it. They were sharp and bloody.

 

“What is this place?” Tyler breathed, his panic enveloping him like icey water.

 

“This is my workshop. Where I skin my kills and mount their heads.” West yanked on Tyler’s shirt, pulling him in closer, “And this is where I’ll break you.”

 

|-/

 

Josh found himself lying in Tyler’s bed, clutching his pillow and inhaling his smell.

 

He had called the SEA, slavery enforcement agency, and they had been little help.

 

_“It’s most likely he ran away, sir.”_

_“Not_ _Tyler_ _, he wouldn’t.”_

_“We get at least a hundred calls a day like this, I can assure you it’s a common thing. You should have had him chipped, then we could have tracked him with GPS.”_

They had looked up his file at least and put a flag out on Tyler’s barcode. It was unlikely whoever kidnapped him would be scanning it anywhere. His only hope was if Tyler escaped and went to the police and they scanned him there.

 

That was if Tyler was even still alive…

 

Josh hugged the pillow closer to his face, clenching his jaw tight. He couldn’t let those dark thoughts manifest. They would only destroy him.

 

The house was so quiet without Tyler. Without his soft singing and his ukulele. The kitchen felt foreign without Tyler bustling around in there, clinking dishes together as he worked. The living room grew dusty again since Josh never found reason to step foot in there anyway.

 

A week passed and Josh was tripping through piles of dirty clothes and dishes again. He stayed in Tyler’s room for the most part, the only place he bothered to keep clean.

 

Debby and Mark came and went, bringing him food and giving him false hope that Tyler would soon return. But as time passed and Tyler didn’t, Josh found himself wearing a permanent dent in the guest bedroom’s mattress.

 

As he dug his face into the pillow, his dark thoughts clouding over, a name suddenly struck him.

 

West. Don West.

 

Could it…? Why hadn’t he thought of it before? He had been seconds away from assaulting Tyler in his very own kitchen what was stopping him from kidnapping?

 

Josh sat up in bed, his hands reaching for his phone. He was screaming at himself for not thinking of the name sooner.

 

He needed to find Dr. West.

 

|-/

 

Tyler was hungry.

 

And thirsty.

 

West hadn’t given him any food since he’d been kidnapped, and very little water.

 

It had to have been at least a week by now, maybe longer.

 

Tyler swallowed, his dry throat clicking as he tried to find a more comfortable position on the cold floor. Memories of Master Donovan’s basement flashed through his eyes and Tyler shook them away, praying West wouldn’t be as cruel as Donovan had been.

 

So far he hadn’t done much. He’d shackled Tyler’s wrists and ankles together, attaching them to a chain that had been bolted into the floor and had left him there. For days.

 

He’d come down once with a half empty bottle of water and asked Tyler if he was willing to cooperate.

 

Tyler had said nothing and the water bottle was thrown at his head with more force than necessary before West disappeared up the stairs again.

 

That was days ago, too.

 

The water bottle was empty now and Tyler was on the brink of hallucinating, his parched throat driving him to madness.

 

Sometimes he saw Josh.

 

But usually he saw his old Masters and Tyler would curl into a ball and squeeze his eyes shut, wishing they’d just go away.

 

He missed Josh. Missed his warmth, his crinkly smile and his solid, reassuring presence.

 

He wondered what Josh was doing now. If he was thinking of Tyler. If he knew what had even happened to him. Or, Tyler’s throat tightened, or did he think he’d just walked out the door and never came back?

 

He wondered if Josh was looking for him.

 

The door squeaked on its hinges at the top of the stairs and Tyler jerked, his chains rattling noisily on the cement floor.

 

West strode slowly down the steps, his footfalls heavy as he made his way over Tyler’s exhausted form.

 

“Are you going to play nice?” He asked calmly, his figure looming overhead.

 

Tyler just whimpered, he still hadn’t decided. If he said nothing would West leave him down here to die? Or would he start hurting him? Forcing him to do the things he was unwilling to do?

 

Tyler knew if he agreed to cooperate he might have a far better chance of getting to a telephone, of getting to Josh. But that would mean sacrificing himself to a monster. Willingly whoring his body out for another sick fuck.

 

He didn’t know if he could go through it again. If it would be better off to just submit himself to punishment, or death.

 

West kneeled down, his denim covered thigh just a few inches from Tyler’s face, “If you want to be a good boy,” he said, reaching out to pet Tyler’s hair, “Then I’ll treat you like a good boy. But,” his grip tightened then, pulling painfully at his locks, “if you want to be stubborn you’re going to get punished.”

 

If he’d had any moisture left in his body, Tyler was sure he’d have tears in his eyes. But he just stared up at West, eyes dry and empty.

 

“What do you say?”

 

Tyler’s eyes slid closed, and behind them he saw Josh.

 

He nodded, instantly hating himself for doing so.

 

|-/

 

Josh was seated in his neglected living room, Nadia Suresh in the chair across from him.

 

“I can’t believe this.” She was saying and Josh understood, having been in her place a few days ago when he’d first heard the news.

 

Donald West had been stripped of his license, fired from his job as a psychiatrist after sexual harassment claims were filed against him.

 

His life had fallen apart in the aftermath, job lost, wife filing for divorce and he had disappeared from it all. A week before Tyler had gone missing.

 

Josh didn’t think it was a coincidence.

 

“The police are looking into it. They said it seems like he’d just dropped off the map.” Josh leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, “I don’t know what to do…”

 

“Tyler’s a survivor.” Nadia said quietly and it didn’t do much to soothe Josh’s worries.

 

He stood and paced slowly between the coffee table and the couch, “I love him.”

 

Nadia said nothing for a long time, letting him pace.

 

“I didn’t realize.” She said eventually, “I mean, I knew you cared about him…”

 

Josh stopped, crossing his arms over his chest and exhaling loudly, “I can’t imagine what he’s going through right now… I just want him back.”

 

 

But weeks would pass, weeks that turned into months before Josh would ever hear from Tyler again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k... if you didn't before ya'll are gonna HATE me now.
> 
> But I still appreciate all the comments and kudos! thank you guys for still reading

 

Tyler kneeled obediently at his Master’s feet as he flipped through the channels on his television set, his fingers curling idly in Tyler’s hair.

 

It had grown longer than Tyler ever liked to keep it, but then again it didn’t really matter how he liked it. Master West said it was a good length for grabbing. Tyler wanted to take a razor to it, cut it until it was too short to hold onto.

 

“See? This is nice.” West said above him.

 

It was the first time he’d been allowed upstairs. After months of ‘training’ him West had finally decided he was well behaved enough to come upstairs.

 

Tyler glanced down at the handcuffs around his bony wrists. West was still taking precautionary measures.

 

“Yes Master.” He mumbled.

 

West chuckled above him, his hand running down to tweak a nipple, earning a violent flinch in return, “Ssshhh, there’s a good boy.”

 

He had long ago been stripped of his clothes and after years of being exposed this way he was still having a hard time adjusting to it after life with Josh.

 

 Josh.

 

Tyler’s eyes flicked to the landline hanging on the kitchen wall.

 

He hadn’t forgotten about Josh.

 

It had taken him far longer to get out of that basement than he had hoped. Fooling West wasn’t easy and for a long time West had read him too well.

 

So well that Tyler sometimes wondered how much he was putting on as an act and how much he was doing because he was scared of the punishment.

 

West liked floggings. He had been delighted by the fact that Tyler’s back was already littered with old scars from whips, canes and the like.

 

 _“Then this won’t be new to you.”_ He had said, pulling out a bullwhip and taking a few steps back.

 

Tyler’s back was still raw from the last time he’d used it on him.

 

The hardest readjustment was the physical stuff. The other things he could force himself to do, kneel, lower his eyes, use ‘Master’ without the sarcasm. It was the sexual things that had him recoiling, fighting back and earning him the whip over and over.

 

West’s hands were still caressing his chest, pinching at his nipples roughly.

 

Tyler bit his tongue to keep from saying anything, his fingers were clenched into fists in his lap.

 

“Hey,” West purred and reached up to grab a hold of Tyler’s collar, it was a thick and heavy piece of metal locked tight with a deadbolt, “Come with me.”

 

West dragged him up by the collar and Tyler struggled in his ankle cuffs to follow and not fall flat on his face. He led Tyler into the master bedroom, a huge room decorated with more dead animals along the wall, a bearskin rug at the foot of the massive bed.

 

Tyler had tried to ask questions about the house, before he was punished for speaking out of turn. West had eventually given him answer of sorts though, he’d said that nobody knew about this house. That it was listed under a false name and that they had complete privacy, no neighbors for miles in either direction.

 

It hadn’t exactly calmed his nerves.

 

West threw Tyler onto the bed, laughing as he bounced like a rag doll, “Much better than the cold basement, isn’t it?”

 

Tyler struggled to sit up right in his cuffs, “Yes Master.” He crouched on his knees, watching West’s every move with wary eyes.

 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out where this was going.

 

He was afraid if he fought it this time West would throw him back into the basement, locking him away from a chance at getting to the phone. He was so close now, he couldn’t fuck it up. He had to stay on West’s good side, he had to stay upstairs.

 

West sauntered toward him, fingers deftly unbuttoning the black dress shirt he wore before he slid it off his body revealing smooth, tanned skin.

 

He stopped at the end of the bed, towering over Tyler and challenging him with his eyes.

 

Tyler dropped his own immediately, staring at his hands and waiting for instructions.

 

“You’re being such a good boy.” West cooed, his hand reaching out to cup the back of Tyler’s neck, making the latter flinch at the contact, “You were made for this, weren’t you?”

 

He pulled Tyler forward by the grip on his neck until he was crawling across the mattress and positioned right in front of West’s crotch.

 

“Take off my belt.” He ordered, voice low with arousal.

 

Hesitantly, Tyler moved his cuffed hands together, up to unlatch the man’s belt and pull it through the loops before letting it fall to the floor. Tyler’s breathing was heavy in his own ears.

 

“Take them off.”

 

His hands were shaking as he unzipped West’s pants, pushing them down thick, hairy thighs. The man wasn’t wearing any underwear either.

 

“Suck me.” Was his next command, stern and deep.

 

Tyler just stared at it, half hard, buried in a tangled mess of pubes, the musty aroma meeting his nose.

 

He’d done this thousands of times. He could do it again.

 

West’s hand landed on the back of his head, ready to push, “What are you waiting for?”

 

Tyler braced his cuffed hands on the bed and leaned forward, taking it in his mouth.

 

And it was oh so familiar. Its salty taste, heavy on his tongue at first, was almost enough to make him gag. But Tyler tried to remember the mechanics of it, tried to pull himself away from what he was doing, let his body take control.

 

It took effort, and eventually he found himself in a good rhythm, hollowing his throat and bobbing his head until Master West was groaning above him.

 

It went on for a while. So long that Tyler was beginning to think that it was almost over when West suddenly shoved him roughly on the shoulders, knocking him back onto the bed.

 

“Get on your hands and knees.” His voice was gruff and deeply unsettling and the fear that threatened to choke him had Tyler scrambling into position.

 

This was for Josh, he reminded himself. If he did this West would keep him upstairs. If he got to stay upstairs he would get his chance with the phone. He would hear Josh’s voice again. He would give any clues he could about where West was hiding him and maybe Josh would come. Come rescue him from this nightmare.

 

West was shuffling around behind him somewhere, uncapping and capping a bottle of something, lube he was sure.

 

He flinched when West’s hand landed in between his shoulder blades, pushing him down until he was on his elbows, ass high in the air.

 

This wouldn’t be the first time they fucked, not by far. But this was the first time Tyler wasn’t fighting it.

 

A part of him felt dead inside for letting it happen, but he _needed_ to do this. For Josh. For himself.

 

He flinched again when West’s fingers prodded at his entrance, preparing him. The flinching was new, Tyler thought. All his years of slavery he hadn’t flinched half as much as he had in the last couple months.

 

It had to be a psychosomatic thing, he thought.

 

West’s fingers withdrew and what little composure Tyler had quickly began crumbling away.

 

“Wait.” The word slipped out of his mouth unbidden and he already felt himself coming off his elbows, back onto his palms, ready to move away, to fight.

 

“C’mon now,” West bit, “You’re doing so good,” His hand fell between his shoulder blades again, shoving Tyler down into the mattress and Tyler panicked, gripping the comforter until his knuckles whitened.

 

 _Don’t fight it_ his head screamed at him, _Fucking take it._

“Don’t make me restrain you further,” West said and his hand was still forcing his neck into the sheets, other hand parting a cheek, “You don’t want to go back to the basement, do you?”

 

The words sliced through Tyler’s panic and he forced himself to breathe, forced himself to calm down until his muscles began to relax.

 

“There you go.” West said and Tyler felt the head of his dick pressing against him for a moment before it slid in, unwanted and unwelcome, “There you go.” West crooned again as he sunk himself into Tyler, both hands moving to grip bony hips.

 

Tyler hissed at the intrusion, deep stabs of pain began to radiate inside him and he groaned at it, forcing himself to relax so it wouldn’t hurt so much.

 

A slow thrust started, quickly gaining speed, “Good boy,” West was soon panting above him, his hips jutting faster, pounding into Tyler harder, “What you were made for, boy.”

 

Tyler tried to focus on his breathing through it, praying with each thrust that that one would be the last. It didn’t always hurt so much, sometimes Tyler was horrified to feel his body responding, pleasure stimulating deep inside him. It was a betrayal he could never forgive himself for. He’d rather it always just hurt.

 

Thankfully, West wasn’t the type of Master to try and force a reaction out of Tyler and continued humping selfishly, fingers painting more bruises into Tyler’s slender hips.

 

He found himself staring at a taxidermy fox that had been propped up on a tree stump. Its face frozen into a snarl, white teeth painted to look wet with saliva, black marble eyes boring into Tyler as he was fucked from behind.

 

He shut his eyes but it didn’t seem to help. West was relentless and Tyler felt a sheen of sweat breaking out over his body, he felt sick.

 

It seemed to last forever, a steady rhythm that had him grimacing in pain with each thrust until finally the moment he most dreaded and loved came that had West slamming into him harder than ever, making him scream at the pain it was causing his body.

 

But it meant that the torture was ending, West was almost finished with him.

 

A hand fisted in his hair, wordlessly berating him for the noise he was making. Master Olenski used to love when he screamed, Donovan did too, to a point.

 

West hated it. He preferred Tyler stay quiet.

 

He clamped his mouth shut, sobbing harshly through his teeth at the pain as West finally came to a jerky stop.

 

Tyler couldn’t have been more relieved. He tried to remember if it had always hurt that bad. It didn’t help that West was probably the biggest he’d ever taken.

 

His Master pulled out of him abruptly, letting him collapse shakily onto the bed and left to go clean himself up.

 

Tyler let himself cry, hiccupping around his tears and praying his plan with the phone worked.

 

Praying he’d find his way back to Josh.

 

|-/

 

Josh’s cell phone rang and he fumbled for it in the folds of the bed before answering, “Hello?”

 

“Hey Josh, its Debby.” Her voice was carefully sweet over the line, everybody had been walking on eggshells around him the past few months.

 

“Hey.” He said tiredly. He’d been spending most of his days sleeping, Tyler always finding him in his dreams. And it hurt too much to stay awake, the empty hush of his house mocking him, drowning him in his sorrow.

 

“I was wondering if you were up for any visitors, thought maybe me and Jenna could come over.”

 

“Uhh…” he didn’t really know Jenna that well and he wasn’t exactly in the best place to be hosting dinner, neither was his house for that matter, “Maybe another time.” He finished lamely.

 

“Oh. Okay.” She sounded a little dejected and Josh felt guilty. He’d been kind of ignoring all his friends.

 

“Well I’ll talk to you later Deb.” he said and listened to her hurried goodbye as he clicked the phone shut. He was being a jerk, but he had reason to be. This time it wasn’t him moping selfishly, this time he was mourning Tyler and whatever hell he was going through right now… if he was even alive.

 

Josh’s heart clenched in his chest wondering, not for the first time, if Tyler was dead. If he had been dead for months. If Josh never got the chance to say _I love you_ or _goodbye._

 

He reached for Tyler’s pillow, pulling it to his face to smell and felt tears well in his eyes when he realized Tyler’s scent was gone. Too much time had passed, Tyler’s presence was fading.

 

Josh got up and stumbled from the bed, opening drawers in the big wooden dresser and pulling out clothes. He brought them to his face, inhaling and smelling nothing.

 

Tyler hadn’t even got to wear any of these. Everything in the dresser was new.

 

Josh dropped the clothes in favor of hunting down the laundry basket in the basement, he tripped over himself in the hallway, practically throwing himself down the stairs to get to it.

 

Once in the basement, Josh stretched his arms out reaching along the floor until he finally found it and his hands dug greedily in the basket pulling out items of clothes until his fingers settled on a particularly soft shirt.

 

Too soft to be one of Josh’s, the fabric too new.

 

He brought it to his nose and smelled and the scent was so intensely _Tyler_ he almost choked on it. Josh began laughing hysterically, shirt clutched to his chest as he rocked on the hard basement floor.

 

|-/

 

Tyler stared at the calendar hanging in Master West’s kitchen.

 

It was December 1st.

 

 _Happy Birthday to me,_ he thought miserably.

 

He’d been with West for over four months.

 

He dropped his eyes back to the sink where he was washing the dishes, the knives and forks were strictly locked away from him, but he was allowed to handle everything else.

 

Tyler wondered if West thought about how easy it would be for him to break a plate and use that as a weapon instead.

 

But he didn’t. Of course he didn’t.

 

Tyler eyed the phone on the wall again.

 

He missed Josh’s voice. He wondered how Josh was doing. Was he still playing his drums? Was he eating alright? Were Mark and Debby helping him in his absence? He often found himself asking these questions, hoping Josh was doing okay without him.

 

Outside, Tyler heard a car pull up and his hands stilled in the sink. West got up from the kitchen table and pointed at him as he made his way to the door, “Stay there.”

 

A car door opened and shut, gravel crunched and boots clicked on the porch as someone made their way to the front door.

 

West opened it before the person got a chance to knock, “Hello Officer, what can I do you for today?”

 

Tyler’s heart stopped.

 

Officer? He let go of the dish he was washing in the sink, pulling his arms out of the soapy water and tiptoeing over to the door.

 

West had it open but pulled close, so as the person at the door couldn’t see all the way inside the house.

 

“Are you a Donald West?”

 

“Well, sir, I don’t really go by that name anymore, but yeah, that was me.”

 

Tyler frowned at West’s words. Whatever name he went under now must be the name the house was under too.

 

“We’ll I’ve been looking for you for quite some time now. Here to give you these.”

 

Tyler heard a shuffling of papers being passed between the two and crept closer, trying to see what it was.

 

“Ah, these.” West said, his voice taking on a dangerous edge.

 

“Word of advice,” the officer said, “Never get married again. It ain’t worth the trouble.” He chuckled and West laughed humorously with him.

 

“I hear that.” He said and offered the policeman a thank you and a farewell, shutting the door behind him as he looked down over his papers.

 

Tyler ran back to his spot at the sink and stuffed his hands back in the soapy water.

 

Luckily, West didn’t seem to notice, and dropped the papers on the kitchen table.

 

“Bedroom.” He clipped and turned on his heel, undoing his belt and tossing it into the living room as he went.

 

Tyler turned off the faucet and dried his hands, walking slowly enough to read the papers on the table as he passed them.

 

Divorce papers.

 

Tyler swallowed. Great. Angry sex.

 

He gave the phone on the wall one last longing look before steeling himself for what was about to come.

 

 

 

Tyler laid on his back staring up at the ceiling, tears were drying on his temple. His ass was throbbing.

 

But West was asleep.

 

A loud snore penetrated the quiet of the room.

 

Deeply asleep.

 

Tyler quietly sat up and clambered out of the bed. It was his first night without restraints and it was easy for him to move out of the bedroom and across the house in near silence.

 

He tiptoed to the phone, carefully picking it up and out of its cradle.

 

He dialed the number he knew by heart and waited, his breath caught in his throat.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so. I have one more fully completed chapter I just need to look over - and then I have another one that's almost finished. I might be back on a hiatus with this story after those just because I know I'mma be busy this weekend and then I start my new job on monday (yikes) but ya'lls comments and support have been wonderful! thanks guys
> 
> also- I've noticed when I copy and paste a chapter into the rich text it'll delete a sentence that's one word long... it's fricken annoying as heck. =/ never used to happen.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everybody for the comments!!! I hope everybody's still enjoying this story.

 

Josh was sleeping when his phone started to ring, waking him up and pulling him from his sweet dream with Tyler.

 

He groaned and plucked it off the nightstand, lifting it to his ear, “Yeah?” he said, voice gritty with sleep.

 

“…Josh?”

 

It was whispered through the phone line and Josh sat straight up in bed, his heart thumping back to life. Could it be? Was he dreaming?

 

He said nothing, his heart racing as he considered the possibility.

 

“Josh? It’s Tyler.” The small voice continued.

 

“Tyler?” he gasped and couldn’t believe his ears. He almost pinched himself to make sure he was actually awake.

 

“Hi Josh.” Tyler said and the relief that Josh heard in his voice was overwhelming. After months of not knowing if he was dead or alive, to hear his voice over the phone… Josh wiped at his wet eyes and focused on what was important.

 

“Tyler, where are you? What happened to you? Are you okay?” the words rushed out of him, his phone was clutched so tightly against his ear he heard the plastic creak. He was afraid of missing a single breath on the other end.

 

“West took me. Josh, I’m sorry. I couldn’t do anything… he had a taser-”

 

He had been right about West then, “It’s okay, hey, it’s okay. I’m just so glad to hear your voice and I’ve been so worried about you. Where are you Tyler? Are you still with West? Has he hurt you?”

 

“Yes, I’m with West. I’m at a … a ranch house of some sort. There’s just fields. He doesn’t have any neighbors… Josh, nobody knows he’s here. Wait, except a cop.”

 

“A cop?”

 

Tyler’s voice was still a hushed whisper, “A cop came and handed him divorce papers. West said he’d changed his name, I think that’s the name that the house must-”

 

The line went dead.

 

“Tyler? Tyler are you there?” his phone was deathly silent, “Tyler? _Tyler_ _!?_ ” oh god, what had happened?

 

Josh pulled back his phone and spoke clearly into it, “Call contact SEA.”

 

Tyler had given him a lead. A cop that had found Donald West under another name and given him his divorce papers.

 

Josh listened to the phone ring and prayed it was the lead they needed. Prayed it wouldn’t be long until he could bring Tyler back home.

 

His heart was pounding, hearing Tyler’s hushed voice in his head, _Tyler_ _was alive._

 

|-/

 

Tyler was dead.

 

West was standing in front of him, phone cord ripped from the base.

 

“Something you want to tell me, boy?” he growled and Tyler took a second to weigh his options before he was dropping the phone and bolting for the door.

 

“ _Hey_!” West yelled over the sound of the phone clattering to the floor.

 

Tyler had the door ripped open and was flying down the porch steps and into the gravel driveway, bits of sharp stone digging into his heels. It was ice cold out, pulling goosebumps from Tyler’s skin but he paid no heed to it.

 

His pulse was booming in his ears, overpowering any sense of hearing at this point and Tyler ran over the dead grass and the tall weeds, thistles and barbs whipping against his bare thighs.

 

Adrenaline got him far, but after months of malnourishment and zero exercise his body couldn’t hold a candle to West’s speed.

 

Tyler felt his bicep snatched up before he’d even made it twenty yards from the house.

 

He fought back, clawing at West’s arms and kicking until West reared back an elbow and slammed it hard into the bridge of his nose.

 

Tyler collapsed into the tall weeds with a shout, clutching his face as the fight drained out of him.

 

“You fucking bitch,” West panted above him, “Thought you could _trick_ me?!” he bent down and grabbed Tyler by the throat, fingers wedged between the thick collar and his jaw bones. It choked him as he yanked Tyler up off the ground, snarling in his face, “You’re going to regret that, boy.”

 

 _I already do_ , Tyler thought miserably.

 

|-/

 

Josh was pacing the kitchen, his phone gripped tightly in his hand.

 

“Josh, sit down.” Mark said from the table.

 

He shook his head, continuing his pace.

 

“Josh… you ever hear that saying, ‘a watched pot doesn’t boil.’?”

 

“It’s not a fucking pot,” Josh bit, “This is Tyler’s _life_ , Mark.”

 

“I know, I know! I was just…”

 

He was being a dick. He knew that. But he couldn’t really take the time to correct himself, to apologize to Mark. He was so focused on his phone, on waiting to hear _anything_ about Tyler.

 

“God, I feel so fucking powerless.” He stopped for a moment, feet pausing on the linoleum, “If only I had my sight, I’d be out there, hunting that _bastard_ _down-_ ”

 

“Yeah, and you’d probably get yourself killed, Josh. This is a job for the police.”

 

Josh just scoffed, the _police_ hadn’t even believed him when he told them Tyler had been kidnapped.

 

“I’m gonna call them,” Josh decided, raising the phone to his mouth.

 

“Josh. Don’t.” Mark said and Josh heard him stand, the chair sliding across linoleum, “You’ve already called them like five times. They’ll call you when something changes. They know you’ll want to hear it right away.”

 

Josh dropped his arm and blew a breath through his nose, “Why is it taking so long?” he muttered. If one cop had found West out in the middle of nowhere the rest could do it too. There had to be some connection they weren’t seeing.

 

He thought about the phone line going dead. Silence cutting off Tyler’s hushed whispers.

 

“If West hurts him...” Josh threatened out loud, but his voice broke off, fearing the worst had probably already happened.

 

|-/

 

_Josh._

_Come find me._

Tyler floated in an out of consciousness. He hoped it had been enough. He hoped what he had been able to tell Josh over the phone would be enough to save him.

 

_Please, Josh._

 

The basement was dark. So dark Tyler could never tell if his eyes were even open. If he was even awake.

 

“Tyler.” Someone was calling his name softly. “Tyler, wake up.”

 

_Mom?_

 

“Hi sweetie. It’s time for school.”

 

He felt the ghost of her fingers caress his cheek and he smiled.

 

_I’ve missed you, mom._

“You don’t want to be late. Come on honey, get up.”

 

Tyler struggled to sit up and a sharp pain lanced through his arm, making him cry out and fall back onto the hard floor.

 

He was cold. His body hurt.

 

He tried to remember where he was, tried to remember why there was so much pain.

 

He opened his eyes and Josh was sitting there, looking at him sadly.

 

“Josh.” Josh was here. He was safe. They could go home.

 

Josh’s brown eyes searched his face, they were shiny with unshed tears, “I can’t help you, Tyler.”

 

“Your eyes…” Tyler mumbled and suddenly he felt scared. Something wasn’t right. Josh wasn’t real.

 

He blinked and Josh was gone.

 

_No, wait!_

_Please come back._

“Don’t- don’t leave me.” Tyler heard himself saying and his whole body throbbed, every inch of him felt tender and abused, “Don’t leave me!” he cried out hoarsely, not caring if West heard.

 

West. 

 

 _West_ had done this to him. He wanted to strangle that man in his sleep. Whip him with a cane and kick his head in until he stopped moving.

 

Tears slipped out of Tyler’s eyes, falling off his face and mingling with his blood on the floor.

 

He just wanted the pain to stop.

 

He just wanted to go home.

 

|-/

 

Days slipped past as Josh sat around feeling useless.

 

He couldn’t sleep anymore. Not when he knew that Tyler was out there. Not when he knew that they had to be so close to finding him.

 

He kept his phone on him constantly, always making sure it was charged, ringer on high. Terrified to miss a call.

 

What little appetite he had was gone and in the week that came and went since Tyler’s call he felt himself losing weight. He had showered once and slept maybe a handful of hours.

 

He’d told everyone not to call him, not unless it was news about Tyler.

 

Josh was lying in his own bed, his body was exhausted and he was fighting its pull for much needed sleep when his phone started vibrating on his chest, the shrill ring puncturing the silence of the house.

 

His heart gave a dramatic lurch before he grabbed at it, pulling it to his ear before the first ring had even stopped, “Hello?”

 

“Mr. Dun this is Chief Vogt. We found the slave you’ve been looking for at a ranch in Seneca County with a man named Richard Walker.”

 

“You found Tyler? Is he alive?” Josh prayed as he waited for the answer.

 

“Yes, he’s alive. He’s at the county hospital, did you want me to send a car out?”

 

 _Thank you_ Josh thought, sending his gratitude out into the universe and blinked tears out of his eyes.

 

“Yes, please. How is he?”

 

“I can’t say, I wasn’t there for the arrest but I’ve been told they brought him to the ICU. The car will be there tonight, around eight.”

 

“Okay, thank you.” Josh hung up, his head spinning. A mantra of _Tyler_ _’s alive,_ _Tyler_ _’s alive_ began running through his head.

 

 _Eight._  

 

Josh pulled the alarm clock on the side of the bed towards him, pressing the big button on the side of it. A robotic voice read to him, “Five fifty-two. PM.”

 

He had quite a bit of time.

 

Josh got up to shower, making quick work of his morning routine before packing some clothes in a bag.

 

He was ready to go at six fifteen, sitting in his living room and bouncing his knee.

 

 

The car came at eight thirty, much to Josh’s distress and a security guard knocked on his door.

 

“Let me help you with that, Mr. Dun.”

 

“I’ve got it.” Josh barked, hugging his bag to his chest and making his way out onto the porch.

 

“Well, let me help you to the car.” The man said and Josh resisted batting the guy’s hands away when he felt them guiding him.

 

Now was not the time to argue. He needed to see Tyler.

 

Once they were situated in the car Josh asked, “How long a drive is it to Seneca County?”

 

“Little over two hours, sir. Mind if I listen to the radio?”

 

Josh ignored him, not really paying attention once he’d gotten his answer. _Two hours._

 

He’d waited months for this moment. But two hours seemed like an eternity.


	15. Chapter 15

The doctor had explained to him the list of injuries Tyler had succumbed. Josh had cringed at every single one, broken fingers, shattered wrist, dislocated shoulder, fractured ribs, fractured cheekbone, broken nose, mild concussion, deep lacerations on his back, thighs and one on his head bad enough to need staples, he had bruisings on his torso, pelvic area, face, neck, arms… it was a list alright.

 

“What’s going to happen to West? To the bastard that did all that?” Josh had asked and his answer was a shrug.

 

Josh knew he’d be lucky if West even got jail time. Tyler was a slave after all, just stolen and damaged property in the law’s eyes. West would probably get a fine and a slap on the wrist.

 

He was led into Tyler’s room where a nurse brought him to a chair at the side of Tyler’s bed.

 

Josh’s hands fidgeted in his lap, he wanted to touch, but had no idea if he could. If it would hurt Tyler.

 

“How does he look?” Josh asked.

 

The nurse’s voice was high and airy when she spoke, “Be glad you can’t see him.”

 

Josh frowned, that wasn’t exactly calming his nerves.

 

He heard her pressing some buttons on the other side of the bed, “I don’t know why people hit their slaves.” She said and Josh was about to agree with her when she added, “It just makes them look so ugly.”

 

Josh bit hard on his tongue, tasting blood as he did so. As much as he wanted to call her out he was afraid to. They were the ones treating Tyler, helping him heal. They didn’t agree on slavery but at least she was helping him.

 

Instead, Josh said, “Can I touch him?” his hands hovered at the bed railing, “I just want to make sure its him, y’know.” He motioned to his eyes vaguely.

 

“Uhh, yeah,” he heard her coming over, her hand placed gently on his shoulder, “Here, let’s move you to this side of the bed.” She guided him around the bed, dragging the chair behind them, “The right side of his face isn’t so bad. And he only has a broken pinky on this side.”

 

“Thanks.” Josh said, his throat tight. He waited until he heard the nurse leave before reaching out to touch Tyler’s arm.

 

His skin was warm. The doctor told Josh he’d had a fever.

 

Gently, he skimmed his fingers up Tyler’s arm to touch his jaw. It was prickly with a couple days worth of stubble which felt a little foreign because Tyler always kept his face smooth shaven.

 

Josh kept his touch light as a feather as he went over Tyler’s features, assuring himself that yes this was Tyler in front of him, alive and breathing and safe again.

 

He pulled his hand back a little when Josh had felt something hard and metal. Touching it again he realized they were the staples the doctor had mentioned. Josh followed them like a railroad track from Tyler’s temple to behind his ear, noting his whole head had been shaved.

 

Josh sat back with a heavy sigh, his hands reaching out to lightly take Tyler’s.

 

He would be out for a while, Josh had been informed, since he’d just been through a couple surgeries to right his bones.

 

Josh’s thumb rested over the soft skin of Tyler’s inner wrist, finding the steady pulse in his veins.

 

For the first time in a long time Josh leaned back and let his body’s weariness pull him into a deep sleep.

 

|-/

 

When Tyler woke up and saw Josh he’d at first assumed it was another hallucination.

 

But there was something too clear, too heavy about the way he was feeling to make him think it was anything other than reality.

 

First of all, he was only looking out of one eye. Something was covering up the left side of his face. And he was in a hospital bed, his limbs no longer tied down, his neck no longer bearing the heavy weight of that metal collar.

 

And Josh… Josh looked terrible. Tyler could see the knobs of his spine through his t-shirt where he was slumped over the side of the bed. There were deep set purple bruises under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

 

Tyler’s right hand was trapped in a sweaty tangle of fingers beneath Josh and Tyler just found himself smiling.

 

Or, trying to smile because his lip hurt too much to stretch.

 

He tried to clear his throat, getting his tongue to cooperate in his mouth. He wanted to wake Josh. He wanted to see his eyes, see him smile, hear his voice.

 

“…osh.” He whispered and coughed a little when the word scratched at his throat. “ _..Osh._ ” he tried again and suddenly felt drained of energy.

 

Luckily, Josh stirred, his eyes blinking open and fingers flexing around Tyler’s hand.

 

Tyler coughed again, wincing at the pain it brought and watched as Josh’s eyes grew a little wider.

 

“Tyler?” He sat up and reached a hand carefully toward his face and to Tyler’s horror he felt himself flinch as it landed on his cheek.

 

Josh’s face crumpled, “Tyler? It’s me. It’s Josh.”

 

He tried to speak but only ended up coughing again so he settled for a nod, knowing Josh could feel it.

 

A quiet moment fell over the two of them and Tyler watched as Josh’s eyes filled with tears, spilling onto his cheeks unchecked.

 

“Hey,” Josh laughed a little wetly and slid a wet thumb down Tyler’s temple, wiping away his own tears he hadn’t realized had fallen, “Its okay now. Everything’s gonna be okay now.” Josh was saying.

 

Tyler could only nod.

 

|-/

 

They let him take Tyler home right away, surprisingly. Or unsurprisingly since he did belong to Josh.

 

Once home, Josh had hired a personal caretaker to come check in on and take care of Tyler, changing his bandages and nursing him back to health.

 

Everyone had come to visit Tyler too, Josh’s mom, Debby, Mark, Nadia… all of them showering him with gifts and food.

 

Josh was so happy he was back, borderline hyper even and he often found himself sitting on his hands, biting his tongue on the three words he’d been wanting to tell Tyler.

 

As wonderful as it was to have him back, there had definitely been some regression in their relationship. Tyler’s attitude was very subdued and he had begun to flinch at every touch that came his way, no matter how gentle Josh or anyone else tried to be.

 

Eventually he stopped touching him altogether and the distance it created between the two was unbearable. At least for Josh it was. But he told himself Tyler needed the space to heal, that someday things would be back to the way they used to be.

 

 

He was slouched in a chair next to Tyler’s bed, voices and laugh tracks were playing softly from the TV on the dresser. Mark had brought it up from the living room, hooking it up so Tyler could watch in bed.

 

“I’m suing West.” Josh said and listened as the sheets beside him shuffled.

 

He heard Tyler clear his throat, “Oh?”

 

Tyler had been quiet since he’d been brought home, not saying much of anything unless someone spoke to him first.

 

“Yeah. Got a lawyer. I’m supposed to hear back from him sometime today I think.”

 

The TV noise filled the room for a while before Josh spoke again, “Bastard deserves to be in jail. For what he did to you. What he did to his patient.”

 

He wished he could see Tyler. Wished he could hug him and kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. But there were new boundaries between them now.

 

All the progress they had made months ago didn’t seem to matter anymore.

 

Josh had so many questions, so many things he wanted to say. But the tenseness that had come between them stopped him from speaking so many times. He was afraid he would make Tyler worse.

 

His hands twisted in his lap, teeth worrying the inside of his cheek, the silence was so uncomfortable.

 

“I’m gonna lie down.” Josh said and stood, hoping Tyler would ask him to stay.

 

Instead Tyler said, “Okay.” And Josh fought the lump rising in his throat as he stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

 

|-/

 

Tyler blew out a shaky breath as soon as Josh had left the room.

 

He hadn’t expected this.

 

The entire time West had him his thoughts had been on Josh. Praying he’d see him again one day, begging to find his way back to the place he now called home.

 

But, time had changed things.

 

Josh had drawn away from him, no longer touching him and Tyler couldn’t help the feeling of heartbreak that had followed.

 

They talked to each other like strangers. Their words cold and formal.

 

He picked up the TV remote with his good hand and started flipping through the channels, trying to focus his mind elsewhere. He didn’t want to think about how different home had become.

 

Eventually he landed on a nature documentary and dropped the remote, closing his eyes and letting himself drift off to the sound of the droning narrator.

 

 

The crack of the whip met his ears a split second before white hot fire licked down his back, making him scream around the gag in his mouth.

 

“Shut up!” West growled and the whip sliced across the backs of his thighs this time, pulling another pained howl from his body.

 

Tyler pulled uselessly at the ropes around his wrists that were securing him to the table.

 

West had never hit this hard or for this long. And he’d certainly never hit him anywhere other than on his back before. The lashes on the soft meat of his thighs were excruciating, so much worse than the ones that criss-crossed his spine.

 

“ _Please,_ ” Tyler cried through the leather bit, his words deformed. His throat was hoarse from screaming, “ _Please stop!_ ”

 

The whip was tossed to the ground, leather cat tails snapping on the cement.

 

“ _Please..._ It hurts… please, please don’t,” he mumbled carelessly, tears and snot and drool mixing on his face.

 

The sound of West’s boots angrily stepping around the table barely registered with Tyler until he was cutting the ropes off the legs of the table.

 

“You haven’t even begun to feel how much it’s going to hurt, boy.” West growled, and grabbed the ends of each length of rope still secured around Tyler’s wrists, yanking until he came crashing off of the steel table.

 

Without letting go of his left hand, West twisted the arm back until it locked at the elbow before folding Tyler’s wrist over, pushing the bend in his wrist taught against his chest where he was leaning over Tyler’s prone form.

 

The movement happened too fast for Tyler to react and he yelped at the pain suddenly encasing his shoulder and wrist. West had him in a painful wristlock, arm stretched up and held awkwardly behind his back.

 

West’s scowl was vicious as he dropped the weight of his body and pushed into Tyler’s arm.

 

The sound of his bones snap-popping filled his ears while a bright shock of pain invaded his nervous system, ripping a shriek from his throat.

 

Millions of tiny white pinpoints danced in his vision and Tyler felt a violent spasm in his stomach, nausea rippling through him like electricity.

 

“ _Tyler!_ ”

 

Tyler opened his eyes and found himself panting, staring at the quiet TV set on his dresser.

 

He was drenched in a cold sweat.

 

“Tyler?”

 

Josh was standing next to the bed, his brow creased, mouth set in a worried frown.

 

“’m okay.” Tyler mumbled.

 

“Bad dream?” Josh asked.

 

He shook his head, dream? He hadn’t really been sleeping, but dozing in and out of consciousness… remembering. No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. His broken wrist throbbed as a painful reminder.

 

He didn’t want to worry Josh too much though and lied, “Uh… yeah. Must’ve been…”

 

Tyler struggled to sit up, hissing when his body protested vehemently.

 

Josh hovered awkwardly around him, “You sure you’re okay? You need me to call Melissa?”

 

Melissa was the caretaker that Josh had hired to help him. She was a mousy girl with pale blond hair and gentle hands. Tyler liked her.

 

“No, no that’s okay.”

 

Worry remained etched in Josh’s features, but he said nothing.

 

Instead he sat back down in his chair next to the bed, the quiet drone of the television filling in the silence for a good twenty minutes before Josh spoke up again.

 

“Did… did you want me to call Dr. Suresh? I mean, is there anything you need to talk about?”

 

Tyler looked at the side of Josh’s face, he was turned toward the TV as if he were watching it. He steeled himself for a moment, this was a question he’d thought about before.

 

“I don’t think I want to talk to Dr. Suresh anymore.” He said quietly and hoped that Josh would be okay with it, wouldn’t be mad.

 

“What?” He asked sharply, “Why not? Do you not like her?”

 

“No,” Tyler rushed to say, he loved Nadia, she had been so helpful to him, so understanding, “I just… I feel like I should be telling somebody else what happened to me. …I was hoping I could talk to you.”

 

Tyler’s eyes bored into Josh, trying to judge his reaction. Had that been a wrong move? Should he not have said that? Did Josh not want to know?

 

He hurried to correct himself, “Sorry, that’s asking too much. I can talk to Nadia-”

 

“No, oh-” Josh’s head turned to the side, “Sorry, I was just… surprised you asked. Honored, really.”

 

“You are?”

 

“Well, yea. Tyler you can always talk to me, okay? I… I care about you so much.”

 

His neck was craned around so he was facing Tyler, sightless brown eyes looking through him.

 

Tyler knew this was all hard on Josh and felt a tinge of guilt for never letting him in before, for never trying to talk to him when he was drowning in painful memories.

 

He smiled sadly, “I know.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeeeey... sorry it's been so long. I didn't even take the time to proof read this - just wanted to throw it up for ya'll to read asap because I keep getting such lovely comments and feeling so guilty for not posting anything - so here!! enjoy! 
> 
> ALSO - I reread this thing today to remember what was goin on and I noticed in the beginning I said Tyler had 3 previous owners and then ended up writing later that he had 4 eh... i'll fix that later - let's just say he had 4 then.

Days passed and whatever cold formality had formed between them slowly began to melt. Tyler started to open up more and Josh hovered as close as he dared without touching.

 

Melissa was removing the staples from Tyler today.

 

She had come in early, floating around the room like a nymph. Or at least it seemed that way to Josh, she hardly made any noise yet he knew from the things she was picking up and handling that she was indeed moving around.

 

“Okay, Tyler,” her voice was tiny, almost as soft as the constantly running television, “This shouldn’t hurt much.”

 

Josh listened as there was a pause and then Tyler's soft, "sorry."

 

It happened a lot, Tyler was always apologizing and Melissa would tell him it was okay.

 

On cue Josh listened as Melissa said to Tyler, "Don't worry about it."

 

"Tyler," Josh spoke up because he was almost positive he knew what was happening every time these two exchanged apologies but he just wanted to be sure.

 

"Why are you always apologizing to her?"

 

"I... I keep flinching... -I really don't mean to, I know you wont hurt me," Josh doesn't know if he's talking to him or Melissa.

 

"It's just ...reflex."

 

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. It will take time to get used to safe touches, but that's why we're here. Right, Josh?" Melissa's soft voice cut through him then like a slap in the face.

Guilt flooded his system. Tyler didn't need the space to heal, he needed to learn again that physical contact wasn't a threat.

 

Tyler was touch starved, Josh realized with a jolt, and isolating him was only going to make it worse. Wasn't it?

 

The room grew quiet as Melissa began removing Tyler's staples and Josh just sat there, feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet for avoiding Tyler the way he had.

 

There was a soft pained inhale from Tyler as Melissa worked and Josh forced himself to reach across the bed, fingers finding Tyler's.

 

He ignored the flinch Tyler gave him when their hands touched and grasped the other's hand gently in some sort of apology, hoping Tyler understood.

 

Josh smiled when he felt a small squeeze in return and vowed to try his damned best at helping Tyler in his recovery.

 

 

 

Shortly after the staples were removed Melissa had gathered her things and was getting ready to leave for the night.

 

Josh stood with her at the front door, "I can't believe how blind I've been... both literally and figuratively," he snorted, "When he recoiled at my touch I thought he just didn't want it. I was trying to give him his space, you know?"

 

He shook his head, feeling miserable and stupid.

 

Melissa's mittened hand landed softly on his arm, "It's understandable that you would think that, don't worry about it too much. And maybe at first some distance _is_ what he needed. But now I think he needs his friends, his family to be close to him, to touch and hug and show that he's safe again."

 

 _Family_. Josh pondered at the word, marveling at the idea that maybe one day he would be Tyler's family.

 

"He'll stop flinching, he just needs to feel safe again."

 

Josh nodded, beyond grateful for Melissa's kindness, for being there for Tyler when he couldn't.

 

Melissa pulled the door open and a rush of cold air blew into the foyer, making Josh shiver and pull his arms around himself.

 

"Well, I'll see you Saturday then-"

 

"Saturday? You're not coming over tomorrow?" Josh rubbed his hands over the goosebumps rising on his forearms.

 

"Josh... tomorrow is Christmas."

 

All of the air left his chest. _Christmas?!_

 

 

 

After he'd thanked Melissa and said goodbye Josh had called Debby, already pacing the kitchen before she'd even picked up.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Debby. Tomorrow is _Christmas!_ "

 

He could have smacked himself for forgetting. Who forgets Christmas?!

 

Debby's honey-sweet laughter filled the other end of the phone line, "I was wondering how long it was going to take you."

 

Josh stopped dead in his tracks, "Wait, you _knew?_ You _knew_ that I'd _forget?_ "

 

"Well, yeah. It's okay though, you've had a lot on your mind. With Tyler coming home and all."

 

Tyler. He didn't have a present for Tyler.

 

He didn't have a present for anyone.

 

"Oh God, Debby, I don't have a present for anyone."

 

"Relax, I took care of it."

 

Josh's heart was thudding away in his ears and for a moment he thought he'd heard wrong, "You... what?"

 

"You got your mom a nice cashmere sweatshirt and some earrings. For Mark, that new Xbox shooter game he wanted. And for me a new pair of super cute leather boots, a new winter jacket and a new blow drier because my old one broke."

 

"Wow... I spent a lot of money on you."

 

"Damn straight. You can pay me back whenever."

 

Josh sat down at his kitchen table, a fond smile on his face over just how amazing his friend was, "Wait- what about Tyler?"

 

"Personalized sheet music."

 

"Sheet music." Josh repeated in awe.

 

"Yeah... you said he writes his own music. Is it not good?"

 

"No, Debby. It's perfect. Thank you. Thank you so much."

 

He could hear the smile in her voice with her next words, "What can I say? I mean it's not like I single-handedly _saved_ Christmas... oh, wait."

 

Josh laughed, feeling giddy and lightheaded, "I want Tyler to have a good Christmas."

 

"Don't you worry, Joshie. We're all coming over bright and early tomorrow morning, your mom's bringing the Christmas tree and I'm making breakfast. It's gonna be perfect."

 

|-/

 

Tyler woke slowly, leisurely, and was greeted with a perfect Christmas morning snowfall outside his window. He smiled and watched as big fat snowflakes fell in a hazy blur of white just beyond the glass.

 

He briefly wondered if Josh was going to realize what day it was but decided he didn't really care. This Christmas was already his favorite over the last couple years.

 

As long as he was spending it with Josh he was happy.

 

A light knock sounded against his door and Tyler pulled his eyes from the calming snowfall outside his window, "Come in."

 

Josh let himself in the room, looking sleep mussed and content, "Mornin'" he rasped and stumbled into the end of the bed before clambering onto it and curling himself up like a cat at Tyler's feet.

 

Tyler chuckled and smiled down at him, "You're up early."

 

"You have no idea." Josh mumbled into the comforter.

 

Tyler watched him for a while, until he thought Josh might have fallen back asleep. He was so thankful for this man, for everything he did for him. He just wished there was some way to repay him.

 

Josh stirred at his feet, inhaling and sitting up again, "Alright, let's go downstairs."

 

"Downstairs?" Tyler's entire body throbbed at the very idea of getting out of bed, let alone going all the way downstairs. Getting up to go to the bathroom a couple times a day was task enough.

 

Standing from the bed, Josh sauntered over to Tyler and reached a hand out. Tyler took it hesitantly, though he was grateful he didn't flinch he couldn't ignore the way his skin felt like it was crawling at the contact, at being so close to another person, even if it was Josh.

 

He stood slowly, hissing when his ribs pulsed painfully and his face throbbed from the rush of blood that came with going vertical.

 

Josh led him, painstakingly slowly, out into the hall and down the stairs. Halfway down he caught sight of the living room and almost started crying at the swell of emotions that swept through him.

 

"What's this?"

 

Josh continued to lead him down the stairs and toward the brightly lit room. Where the TV used to be now sat a tall glistening Christmas tree, complete with twinkling lights, shiny red bulbs and gold bows.

 

Underneath the tree was a heap of presents, all colorfully decorated and neatly tied off with ribbons and gift tags. A couple other decorations were set up in the hallway and into the kitchen.

 

Josh led him into the big plush armchair by the window where he was carefully plopped, reclined and then covered with blankets. A bowl of miniature candy canes sat on the little end table beside him.

 

"Merry Christmas Tyler." Josh said, his cheeks tinged red from the effort of helping him down the stairs.

 

Tyler could only grin as he took in the Christmas tree again, its twinkling lights looking enchanting in the little room.

 

In a small voice, Tyler said back, "Merry Christmas Josh."

 

"Don't forget about me!" Debby came out of the kitchen then, wearing a bright red Santa hat, "Merry Christmas, Tyler."

 

"Debby!" He was delighted to see her, "When did you guys do all this?"

 

"This morning." Debby chirped, gently guiding a steaming hot mug of something into Josh's hands.

 

"Oh thank God," he muttered and brought the cup up to his nose to inhale the smell of it.

 

"Do you drink coffee?" She guided Josh onto the edge of the couch closest to Tyler. The furniture had been rearranged to fit the tree into the room, he noticed.

 

"No thank you."

 

Just then the front door opened and Mrs. Dun and Mark came bustling into the house, carrying packages and stomping snow off their boots.

 

"Merry Christmas!" They echoed each other and Debby went to help them unload their arms of presents, putting them under the Christmas tree with the others.

 

"Hello Tyler sweetie, how are you feeling?" Mrs. Dun barely had her snow gear off before she was coming over to give him a gentle one armed hug, holding a plate of cookies in the other hand.

 

He jerked at her touch and felt his cheeks heat with embarrassment, "Sorry... I'm ok."

 

"Don't you apologize honey." She gave him a kiss on the temple before turning to hug Josh hello as well, "You don't have anything to be sorry about."

 

"Merry Christmas guys!" Mark shuffled into the room then and Tyler could only stare at the ugly Christmas sweater he was wearing, complete with blinking lights and bells.

 

"Oh my God, Mark, I can _hear_ how ugly your sweater is." Josh commented and Mark laughed,

 

"C'mon, it wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't wear it."

 

"This is true. It's a time honored tradition, Joshie." Debby commented and everyone laughed when Mark started shaking his shoulders and making all the little bells on it tinkle and chime.

 

The smile on Tyler's face was wide enough to hurt but he could have honestly cared less. He was spending Christmas with his new found family and he couldn't imagine being more grateful to have them.

 

 

 

Debby ended up making them a huge breakfast with all the fixings. They ate in the living room so Tyler didn't have to move into the kitchen.

 

"I am so full." Mark was saying from the floor, "I can't move. Debby, what did you do to me?"

 

"Everything was delicious, thank you Debby." Mrs. Dun replied.

 

"Well, you helped. I couldn't have done it all myself."

 

"Thanks mom and Debby." Josh chorused, still eating bacon from his plate.

 

"Yes, thank you very much for breakfast."

 

"Tyler," Debby frowned at him, "You hardly ate anything."

 

He glanced down at his mostly full plate, "I know... I'm sorry, it was really good I just-"

 

" _Debby_." Josh called at the same instance that Debby said, "Oh, Tyler, no. I was just teasing, you don't have to eat it all."

 

She stood and took his plate from him before collecting everybody else's, "Gosh Debby, you're so mean." Mark held up his plate for her to take.

 

"Shut up, Mark. You can take your own plate into the kitchen." She stalked away dramatically then.

 

"Nooo," Mark howled from the floor, "I can't get up because you fed me too much."

 

Mrs. Dun sighed and rolled her eyes before taking Mark's plate and following Debby into the kitchen for clean up.

 

"Thank you Mom!" he called after her, "Okay, present time." Mark stretched out his hand to paw at the presents just out of reach under the Christmas tree."

 

"No, wait for us!" Debby called from the kitchen.

 

Tyler listened to the sound of the girl's washing dishes in the kitchen and watched as Mark started sorting the presents.

 

"Mine... Josh's... Mine... Debby's... Tyler's..."

 

"I have presents?" Tyler asked before he could stop himself.

 

Josh turned to face him, a happy smile crinkling the corners of his eyes, "Of course you do."

 

"But... I didn't get anybody presents."

 

He suddenly felt so guilty, so undeserving of any of those shiny wrapped boxes.

 

"You came back to us, to me." It looked like Josh was looking out the window, watching the snow fall, Tyler knew better, "That's more than I could have asked for."

 

"We feel the same way," Debby said from the kitchen doorway, Mrs. Dun nodded behind her, "We love you Tyler."

 

Tyler felt his heart bloom in his chest, growing and expanding like the Grinch in that cartoon's did. Tears sprang to his eyes and spilled down his cheeks and all he could do was offer them a watery smile, his heart lodging in his throat.

 

"And he loves us back, right Ty?" Mark shouted from the floor and Tyler croaked a wet laugh, wiping tears from his face and nodding vigorously.

 

Debby laughed sweetly and came over to plant a kiss on his head, "Alright, Santa," She took a seat on the floor next to his recliner and tossed Mark her Santa hat, "Hand out the presents!"

 

 

 

It was all over around three o'clock. After the presents were all opened they had sat around and sipped hot chocolate and nibbled on cookies until Debby and Mark needed to leave to see their own families. Mrs. Dun stayed about an hour after but eventually the house became quiet and it was just him and Josh.

 

Tyler was dozing in his chair, blinking his eyes open now and then to get a glimpse of the glistening snow outside and the brightly lit tree next to it. It was a perfect image of what he remembered Christmas to be as a child.

 

Josh had given him Christmas back, after years of spending it locked away or worse he had been able to enjoy it again.

 

A package was plopped in his lap and Tyler jumped in surprise.

 

"You still have one more present."

 

Josh was standing over him, his fingers twined nervously behind his back.

 

"Another one?" He had already gotten so much stuff, clothes, mittens and scarves, books and movies and even a _phone_ which he could use to text or call whoever he wanted whenever he wanted. Plus it came with internet and games and stuff according to Mark.

 

So many of the presents under the tree had been for him he couldn't possibly imagine there was another one.

 

"This one's from me." Josh smiled, "Although, Debby kind of gets credit..."

 

Tyler looked down at the parcel in his lap, it was wrapped neatly in shiny red paper, a sparkly green bow tied around it.

 

He opened it carefully, not knowing what to expect and gasped when he realized what it was. It was blank music sheets, carefully bound in thick leather. Opening it, Tyler realized his name had been printed on the top of every page, _Music and lyrics by Tyler Joseph._

"Do you like it?"

 

Tyler closed the book and gently placed it on the end table. He reached for Josh to help him stand before wrapping his arms around him in a hug, "I love it. Thank you."

 

He breathed in Josh's scent, melting into the warmth of his body and thought to himself 'I love _you_ '.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading- wow this chapter was mushy - there will definitely be more, I will try not to take months to update this time! Love you guys!


	17. Chapter 17

 

After everybody left Josh helped Tyler back upstairs and to his room where they turned the TV on and watched It's a Wonderful Life; or rather, Josh listened to it.

 

Or half listened to it anyway, because he was too busy remembering the way Tyler had hugged him, and how for a moment things felt like they were back to normal. For a moment Josh could forget that Tyler had ever been taken from him and that he'd never been hurt or subjected to any torture from that son of a bitch he'd let into his own home.

 

He couldn't stop blaming himself for West. If he hadn't been so dead set on getting Tyler a therapist then none of the last four months would have happened. Tyler wouldn't be lying immobile in his guest room bed right now.

 

"Josh?"

 

Josh startled in his seat, "Yeah?"

 

"Are you okay?"

 

He attempted a smile, Tyler must have been watching him more than the movie, "Yeah, I'm fine."

 

The crowd of townspeople were singing Hark the Herald Angels Sing on the television.

 

Josh listened, thinking Tyler had turned his attention back to the movie. George's daughter was telling him every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

 

"You.. you can sit up on the bed with me if you want."

 

His heart gave a hopeful little thump before Josh asked, "Are you sure?"

 

"Yeah... I mean, you just gave me the best Christmas I could have ever asked for, the least I could do is let you sit next to me."

 

Josh frowned at that, if Tyler wasn't ready to be close he didn't want to push it on him, "Do you even want me near you?"

 

Tyler paused long enough to make Josh think he wasn't going to answer him, but then he said, "My... heart knows you won't hurt me, okay? I know you, Josh. I know how much you care about me, it may seem impossible, but you do. And I feel the same way about you, God help me. But, my body... a part of my brain, I don't know, hates it. Hates the touches and the proximity of people. My skin crawls when somebody gets too close."

 

There was a tremor in his voice that made Josh want to reach across the bed and hug him tight. But for obvious reasons he forced himself to stay perfectly still and just listen.

 

"I hate this," Tyler choked and it pained Josh to hear the tears now in his words. "I don't want to feel like this anymore. And I don't care how s-scared it m-makes me, I need help. Please." He sniffled wetly and Josh was crawling onto the bed in an instant, positioning himself next to Tyler and finding his hand on the mattress.

 

"Is this okay?" Tyler squeezed his hand in response and Josh fought back his own tears, "Jesus Tyler, this is all my fault. I let that bastard into my home. I let him take you ...hurt you..." Josh felt sick, imagining that man breaking Tyler's fingers, kicking him in the ribs... he was terrified to know what else he did, what else had happened.

 

"I'm never _ever_ going to let anybody hurt you ever again, okay? In fact, I'm going to get you chipped so I can never lose you." He vowed and held onto Tyler's hand a little bit tighter.

 

|-/

 

Chipped.

 

Tyler was staring at the rolling credits on the television screen, his brain stuck on the word.

 

Chipped. 

 

Like a dog.

 

Like a phone.

 

Embedded with GPS so someone could always find him.

 

So Josh could always find him.

 

"Do it now."

 

Josh furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"

 

"Chip me now."

 

He didn't ever want to be lost again. Away from Josh with no hope of returning home to him. He wanted to belong to this man more than ever.

 

Josh looked a little dumbfounded, "Okay... I'll call someone in the morning."

 

"You were serious, weren't you?" Tyler studied his face, hoping he had really meant it.

 

"I was, I am. I just ...I thought I would need to persuade you more. It's kind of a weird thing to do."

 

West’s basement flashed in his mind’s eye, the bloody tools hanging on the wall, the steel table in the middle of the room, the drain in the center of the floor…

 

He didn’t need convincing, not anymore.

 

“…I’m scared, Josh. All the time. Afraid that he’ll come back for me… that he’ll…” he shook his head, trying to clear himself of the horrible mental images of his time with West. He would feel so much safer with that chip, anchored to Josh in a way that was much harder to destroy.

 

“He’s paying for what he did, you know.” Josh spoke up, “My lawyer, he told me he’s serving three to six months… That’s not enough in my opinion, not even close. But he’s being given the lawsuit, which could extend his jail sentence.”

 

“The lawsuit went through?” Tyler would be lying if he said he wasn't shocked. How could Josh’s lawyer agree to it? He was literally worth less than eight hundred dollars. Not even half the price of a cheap used car.

 

“Yea… well… we actually had to lie a bit about the reason I bought you. The first lie being that I actually bought you, not Mark forging you under my name. But we also have to say that I was in the process of turning you into a service slave.” Josh looked sheepish, running his fingers through his messy curls. He needed a haircut.

 

“A service slave. Like a service dog?”

 

“Yeah... It would mean having you take some tests and me and you going to the SEA facility downtown to take a training class… Sorry. I should have consulted you with this first but it was the only way my lawyer agreed we’d have a solid case. Stealing and jeopardizing a disabled person’s service or assistance slave has a heftier penalty. He could have caused me direct harm because I didn’t have the help that I rely on, plus your recovery time is limiting my mobility. Or something like that.”

 

“So, you’re making me your seeing eye dog?”

 

Josh’s laugh was uncomfortable, which was a shame because Tyler actually found it quite funny.

 

“Kind of, I guess.”

 

“So… I wouldn’t be a bed slave anymore?”

 

“Right. You okay with that? The classes and stuff?”

 

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was playing on the television now, but Tyler barely registered it.

 

He wouldn’t be a sex slave anymore. His papers would read service slave. It was so little, so inconsequential, but it lifted a weight off his shoulders he didn’t know he had. It almost made him feel a little more human.

 

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

 

Josh seemed to relax at his words, nodding to himself and settling back against the pillows.

 

He would be chipped like a dog and trained like a dog, but hey, it was a hell of an improvement over being a live-in sex toy.

 

“And I’ll call someone tomorrow then-” Josh said through a yawn and Tyler looked over in time to see him closing his eyes, "-for the chip."

 

Rudolph's stuffy little voice came through the TV on the dresser as Tyler watched Josh's face grow slack. He sat through the elves' happy working song and a commercial break before quietly calling Josh's name.

 

But Josh's shallow breathing continued undisturbed next to him on the bed and Tyler watched him a little longer still before carefully reaching out to Josh's limp hand and threading their fingers together. Josh's hand flexed in sleep and a smile flitted over his face before he stilled again, features smoothing.

 

Tyler let out a content sigh, feeling safe for the first time in months.

 

|-/

 

The next morning Tyler found himself sitting up in bed, Melissa and Josh standing by with concerned faces while a man with some sort of needle looking tool was leaning over him.

 

"Where do you want it, Mister Dun?"

 

The chip was ready to go, programmed so that when scanned it reads as an ID card and installed with GPS for Josh to keep tabs on him.

 

"I-I don't know. Where do they usually put it?"

 

"Most commonly, in humans, we place it between the thumb and index finger."

 

Tyler wanted to laugh at being called human right now. He knows this man thinks nothing of him, his job probably consists of him installing GPS trackers into cars, phones and fucking key chains.

 

"Is that the least painful place?" Josh asked and Tyler wanted to stand up and hug the man for being so stupidly concerned about his wellbeing.

 

But pain was the least of Tyler's worries, his brain providing him with gruesome possibilities of someone cutting off his hand, severing his arm or smashing the bones and the tracker in his skin until both were useless.

 

The man was shrugging and nodding, about to tell Josh that it was fine probably but Tyler cut him off, "No, not the hand. Do it somewhere deeper."

 

Three faces shot him a look of bewilderment and he met them blankly.

 

"Under... the shoulder blade is probably the deepest I can go." The guy was looking nervously between Tyler and Josh and the former was willing to bet he'd never had a slave talk to him that way before.

 

"Tyler-" Josh was reaching toward him, Melissa helping him so he wouldn't trip.

 

"It's fine, Josh. It's what I want." He leaned forward, allowing their hands to meet in a clumsy bump and tangled their fingers together.

The touch almost felt comfortable and Tyler willed himself not to pull away, Josh seemed to need it more than he did at the moment.

 

Tyler jerked when he felt his shirt being pulled up and glanced over to see Melissa gently peeling the fabric away. She gave him an apologetic smile but he was relieved it was her and not the guy with the tracker needle doing it.

 

Touches from people he knew were hard enough, a guy who was about to cause him pain ripping his shirt up wasn't something he thought he could deal with right now.

 

He leaned forward further and allowed Josh and Melissa's hands to ground him as he waited for the prick and dig of the needle.

 

It came with no warning and Tyler grit his teeth as the needle pierced his skin and burrowed itself beneath his shoulder blade. It felt like someone stabbing him in the back with a hot poker and even when the needle retracted he continued squeezing Josh's hands, the after burn of it just as painful.

 

"Okay, it's in." he heard the guy say and Melissa's hands were off his shoulders, her voice flitting lightly in the air as she spoke with the man and saw him out of the house.

 

It took a moment for Tyler's brain to register that the danger was over and he slowly opened his eyes. His body was on edge, shaky and nauseous and shattered inside.

 

"It's over, Tyler. You did great." Josh's face was a mix of fear and worry.

 

Their hands were still clasped in a tight and sweaty grip. Tyler forced himself to breath and relax his fingers and watched as Josh flexed his own.

 

"Sorry," he muttered and briefly wondered if his nails had left marks in Josh's palm. A fire was pulsing in his back and Tyler let out a shaky sigh.

 

Josh looked like he wanted to comfort him, his hands hovering, "It's okay. How's it feel?"

 

He felt light headed, relief washing away the terror in his bones. He couldn't lose Josh now, it was a piece of home fixed to his body, something to hold onto when he felt like he was drowning.

 

"Like a buoy."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible at ending chapters. What even was that? That was dumb, I am sorry.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What in holy hell - Has it seriously been more than a *year* since I've last updated this???? I'm sorry. I really, really, really suck at chapter updates.

 

Time passed slowly in the house.

 

Tyler healed and Josh hovered as winter's cold grasp held on too tightly. Josh spent all his time sitting next to Tyler on the bed, listening to the television and dozing warm next to Tyler's recovering body. Days melted into nights as he wove in an out of consciousness, only aware of the next day by Melissa's returned presence.

 

She changed bandages and gave Tyler sponge baths until he was able to clamber out of bed and do them himself. She cooked them food and cleaned up the house and basically did way more than what she was paid to do but Josh was grateful. Tyler's presence pulled at him like he was Josh's own center of gravity and Josh happily let himself get weighed down, never leaving Tyler alone for long.

 

Eventually Tyler was able to move around more and Josh followed him around the house. Melissa wasn't needed anymore but was always welcomed and her paid time at the house turned into friendly visits.

 

It became just him and Tyler again, something Josh hadn't realized he'd been waiting for but was dizzy with the excitement of it.

 

Tyler's broken shell cracked open more and more each day until Josh was starting to see him as the glimpse of the man he'd begun to know months before. He was still guarded and reserved but he would talk to Josh at length about whatever song he was currently working on or whatever television show he had gotten caught up in.

 

One morning he was making them breakfast, his socked feet shuffling quietly around the kitchen as he sung softly under his breath and Josh had to hide his smile in his hands, feeling so lucky to have Tyler in his life.

 

"We're in a snow globe." Tyler suddenly said and Josh just grinned.

 

"I miss seeing the snow."

 

"I'm tired of seeing the snow." Tyler quipped and a plate was plopped in front of him.

 

Josh poked at it with his fingers for a moment, trying to figure out what it was, it smelled like waffles... or maybe pancakes.

 

"French toast," Tyler said, "Now stop poking it."

 

Josh felt his face redden and grinned sheepishly, "Thanks."

 

"You want syrup?" Tyler asked and Josh nodded.

 

A napkin was placed in his lap, a cup of, Josh sniffed, coffee was set down as well.

 

"Cream? Sugar?"

 

"Both please."

 

They ate in comfortable silence, just the sounds of their forks on the plates and the slurps of their drinks filled the kitchen.

 

When he was finished his plate was cleared from the table and Josh listened to the splash of soapy water in the sink as Tyler did the dishes.

 

Things were simple again. Everything was back to normal it seemed... or almost everything.

 

Josh had to admit, he did miss the relationship that had been developing between them. He wondered if Tyler would ever want to kiss him again. He hoped so.

 

The selfishness of that thought suddenly had Josh shaking his head as if to clear it.

 

Tyler had just spent weeks recuperating from _months_ of torment, Josh should be lucky the guy was standing on his own two feet right now let alone making him his damned breakfast.

 

He sighed, stood up from the table and proclaimed, "I'm going outside."

 

As he shuffled toward the front closet for his snow jacket and boots he heard Tyler's, "O-okay..."

 

 

 

Twenty minutes later Josh was lying in a foot of snow in his backyard, legs and arms lazily dragging up and down to form a snow angel.

 

He was slowly becoming soaked through with wet snow, making the backs of his legs sting with the cold. His face was wet where the snow was landing on him and melting, freezing his cheeks and nose.

 

But it felt nice.

 

The cold had muted his selfish thoughts until all he knew was the sting of his numbing skin, and the quiet hush of snowfall.

 

Eventually he heard the door slide open somewhere behind him and Tyler call out, "You're gonna get sick."

 

Josh shrugged, his body too heavy and content lying in the melting snow.

 

Let me get sick, Josh thought, and licked a melting snowflake off his lips.

 

He heard the back door slide shut and grinned, feeling triumphant for a while until it opened back up and Josh heard snow crunching beneath boots as someone approached him.

 

The crunching stopped at his head and then there was a pause before Tyler landed in the snow with a _woompf!_

Josh sat up instantly, "Careful, Tyler!" he shouted but Tyler was giggling next to him, a sound that had Josh's words dying in his throat.

 

He laughed as he heard the swooshing noise of Tyler's arms and legs paving way for a snow angel.

 

Josh wished he could see Tyler so badly. He wanted to see his smile, the crinkles in the corners of his eyes. Nose and cheeks tinged pink from the cold.

 

Picturing it made him grin.

 

|-/

 

"I told you." Tyler said as he read Josh's thermometer, "You're sick."

 

Josh groaned and buried himself deeper into the comforter on his bed. His eyes and nose were raw from being rubbed at and a growing pile of crumpled tissues lay scattered around his body like petals off a dying flower.

 

"'m fine, Ty. I'll get over it." Josh grumbled into his blanket, "You don't have to wait on me like this."

 

"Josh, you're sick. I can't leave you alone. You need fluids," Tyler started collecting the tissues and dropping them into a waste basket as he spoke, "You need soup and tea and juice."

 

"Ty, I don't want you catching it. You're still healing - a cold is the last thing you need right now." Josh sounded miserable, like he'd hand delivered smallpox to Tyler's front door.

 

"I'll be fine. It's just a cold." Tyler said matter of factly and left the room to fix Josh some chicken noodle soup.

 

 

 

Forty minutes later Tyler was in the bathroom with Josh, rubbing his back while he threw up into the toilet.

 

Turns out 'just a cold' was actually 'just a flu' and Josh was becoming even more adamant that Tyler stay away.

 

"Please, Ty," Josh was begging him, "I don't want you to catch this."

 

"Josh, stop," he couldn't believe how selfless the man was being, how he had any room for thinking about Tyler while he was in such miserable pain, "I'm not leaving you."

 

"Well, you should!"

 

Tyler pulled back, feeling hurt and offended, did Josh not want-

 

"No, sorry... I didn't mean that..." Josh panted, his breathing pained and Tyler leaned over the sink to re-wet the washcloth he'd been using on Josh's face, "Tyler... I feel like I keep causing you pain... I keep... making things... worse..." He started heaving again, his back arching with the force of it and Tyler winced at the sound coming out of Josh's throat.

 

"Josh, stop." He said gently, laying the cool washcloth against the back of Josh's neck, "You realize you sound like a crazy person? You haven't caused me any pain... it's the opposite. You've given me... everything, you've..." Tyler struggled for words for a minute, how did he convince this man that he'd been literally the only good thing to happen in his life since he was fourteen. That he was literally the _best_ thing to happen in his life, ever. Period.

 

"I love you."

 

Tyler blurted the words before he had time to think about them. He knew they were true and that was all that mattered.

 

The bathroom was quiet in the wake of those three little words until Josh managed a, "Tyler-" before he was retching into the toilet bowl again and Tyler couldn't help but laugh because throwing up after being told someone loved you wasn't exactly the reaction he'd wanted but he knew it couldn't be helped in this situation.

 

When Josh came up for air again he was laughing too, albeit painfully, "Jesus Tyler-" He took a couple deep breaths, face a mask of agony and Tyler quickly sobered to the moment.

 

"Sorry," he said quietly, moving to wipe at the sweat on Josh's brow.

 

"No... don't... don't be sorry." Josh leaned away from the toilet then, scooting back to rest against the porcelain of the tub, "I.. I love you, too."

 

He grinned and Tyler found himself smiling in response.

 

"I've been... wanting to say that for a long time," Josh continued, labored breaths breaking up his words for a moment, "I love you Tyler."

 

|-/

 

Later, Josh was lying in his own bed, alone. He was serious about not wanting to get Tyler sick. His own fever was putting him through hell, chills then hot flashes, back and forth.

 

But the memory of Tyler confessing his love for him kept him floating on a little less painful cloud as he rode out the rollercoaster of hot and colds. Tyler loved him.

 

He'd suspected, for sure. But to hear the words out loud... it did something to him. Made him feel weightless and giddy so ready to get out of this sweaty bed and cuddle up next to Tyler for a make out session. But he of course wouldn't.

 

An 'I love you' wasn't permission to start groping the guy, he knew that. But it was fun to imagine.

 

Just then his phone rang and Josh slapped his hand over to the bedside table to grab at it, "Hello?"

 

"Oh, you sound awful! What's wrong?" Debby's voice rang through the phone and Josh groaned in response.

 

"I sick." He said in an overly pitiful voice and Debby laughed.

 

"You seem in a pretty good mood to be sick."

 

"Yeah, maybe I am." Josh found himself smiling into the phone, wanting to tell Debby everything.

 

Her voice rose suddenly, "Tyler's not around you is he? He can't afford to get sick right now," and Josh felt his smile fading.

 

"Yeah, I know. I banished him from my room. No Tyler's allowed in here."

 

"Ok, good. 'Cause don't forget you guys have to go to that slave service class thingy. It's next week already. Did you fill out the paperwork yet?"

 

Ugh, Josh forgot about that. He didn't even know what happened to that paperwork... it had to be in the house... somewhere, "Umm..."

 

" _Josh_ ," Debby chastised, "If there's one thing in your life you have to be responsible about, it's this! You guys don't fill out and send in that paperwork you can't attend the class and if you don't attend the class that lawsuit could get dropped and that _monster_ won't have to pay for what he did to-"

 

"I know, I know!" He cut her off quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of it, "Believe me, I know."

 

His good mood soured by all thoughts of anger and hatred toward West and the weight of the responsibility he had to have a chance to put that man in his place.

 

"Okay, well... just reminding you. I love you but I know how scatter brained you can be." Debby said softly and Josh nodded into the phone for a bit before actually voicing his thoughts.

 

"I know. And thank you. I'll take care of it."

 

He hung up with Debby shortly after and spent the rest of the night playing scenarios of him rescuing Tyler from West, him attacking West, him killing West... It was satisfying for a while until his brain betrayed him and he started thinking about what had been done to Tyler. What West had done. What those other men had done.

 

Josh ended up crying himself to sleep, his empty arms aching to just hold and protect Tyler forever.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey... I'm just gonna leave this here and run away. :)

Josh had gotten up early the next morning, his bones still ache-y and sore from the toll the flu had taken on his body the day before. After speaking to Debby last night he was anxious to find the paperwork for the service class he and Tyler would be taking next week. 

 

Josh rummaged through the drawers in his kitchen where he tended to stuff random things that needed to putting away but his fingers only came across pens and bag clips, batteries and other small clutter. If only had his sight this would be a  _ lot _ easier… then again, if he’d had his sight he would never be looking for these papers in the first place. Tyler wouldn’t be safe under his roof but somewhere far away and at the mercy of some sick fuck or worse… dead and gone from this world.

 

A wave of nausea rolled through him and Josh didn’t know if it was from his train of thought or if it was from his flu. He slammed the drawer he was searching through shut and wiped away the cold sweat that was forming at his hairline. He couldn’t afford to screw this up, he needed for once in his life to be responsible and find-

 

“Josh?” the floorboards creaked in the hallway, “What are you doing up? You okay?”

 

“Yeah, sorry, I…” Josh felt dizzy as he turned toward the table, he needed to sit, “I’m looking for something…”

 

Tyler was at his side, helping him across the kitchen and lowering him into a chair. A cool hand laid across his forehead, “Josh, you’re burning up. You need to go back to bed.”

 

Another wave of nausea rolled through him and Josh felt himself starting to stick to his t-shirt, “Okay, but, I need to find something first.” He told Tyler and tried to brush the other man off as he stood.

 

“What is it? I’ll look for it,” Tyler continued to hold on to him like he was afraid Josh was going to collapse any minute.

 

Josh bit his lip, embarrassed and ashamed to admit to Tyler that he hadn’t taken care of this yet, “Those service slave papers…” He trailed off, not wanting to tell Tyler he had lost them.

 

Tyler let go of him for a second as he moved away and was right back at his side, “These?”

 

Josh heard the rustle of papers and sighed with relief, “They need to be sent out before we go. I’m so sorry I haven’t gotten to them yet…”

 

“It’s fine, I can fill them out right now.” 

 

Josh slumped back in the chair and listened to the scribble noises of pen over paper and wood. Tyler asked him for the answers to the questions he didn’t know and in a few minutes the papers were being stuffed in an envelope and ready to mail back out.

 

A weight had been lifted off Josh’s chest, he realized, and suddenly he felt bone heavy and tired. Tyler helped him back to his room and he collapsed into bed. Shivering and cold, the last thing Josh felt before drifting to sleep was the heavy warmth of his comforter being tucked around him.

 

|-/

 

Tyler tucked the blanket around Josh before quietly leaving the room and heading into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He sighed and leaned his back against the wood, feeling relieved to be alone. Ever since West it had become difficult for him to remain in close proximity with Josh, with anyone for too long and it was moments to himself like this he relished. The house was silent, it’s only other occupant fast asleep down the hall, and Tyler stood in front of the mirror over the sink, staring at the familiar face in the reflection.

 

After the first months with Josh he had begun to look like a new person. He’d put on weight and gotten some color after hours of mowing the lawn and pulling weeds. It was a change he had been happy to see taking place in the mirror every morning. But now… sunken, bruised eyes stared at him through pale skin marred with scars. Through his shorn hair he could see the still healing scar that jut from his temple to back behind his ear, pink and puckered and surrounded by staple holes. It looked ugly on his head, the way his sunken eyes and cheekbones made him look ugly like a starved rat.

 

He didn’t like this version of himself, this starved, pale, pathetic,  _ weak _ version of himself. This is what they did to him, he thought, the people that called themselves his  _ Masters _ . They beat him, used him,  _ broke _ him until he was nothing but this empty shell… this bruised and battered vessel that they filled with nothing but fear. That way he was compliant, that way he didn’t fight back, that way they could do whatever they pleased with him. They didn’t see him as a person and for a long time he didn’t see himself as one either.

 

Until Josh.

 

Josh changed everything. Josh had saved him.  _ Twice. _ Here he felt warm and loved and cared for and not by just Josh but his family and friends and Tyler wanted to do them right. He wanted to feel whole again. He wanted to look in the mirror and see someone deserving of their love.

 

He sighed and stripped off his clothes with careful ease, mindful of the tender and healing bones in his fingers and wrist. The small casts on his fingers had come off the other day but he still had plaster encasing his wrist and Tyler couldn’t wait for the damn thing to come off.

 

He stepped into the empty shower tub and turned the water on, holding his damaged wrist out and away from the stream of steaming water. His good hand ran over his body, bony fingers bumping along his rib cage and catching on the sharp jut of his hip bones. 

 

His fingers brushed over the raised bumps on the soft skin inside his hip then and a lump caught in his throat. Clenching his jaw tight, Tyler tried to ignore the familiar feeling of disgust he felt when he remembered the little parting gift West had given him. The  _ bastard,  _ Tyler thought and reluctantly looked down at the new scar on his lower belly. At about two and a half inches long across the inside of his hip a scar read  _ Property of Dr. Donald West _ . 

 

For a moment Tyler felt like he was reliving it, tied down to the cold steel table in the basement, screaming in pain as West branded him and the smell of his own burning flesh filled the room.

 

Tyler realized he was crying and angrily wiped at his eyes before snapping off the water in the shower. He was tired of feeling scared and angry at West, of waking up from a nightmare where he’s still being tortured by that maniac. He was tired of seeing his goddamn name permanently burned into his skin, a physical reminder of the hell the man had put him through and the fear that constantly followed him around now, even when he was free and safe of West. 

 

Tyler’s heart thumped at the possibility of Josh ever finding out. He envisioned Josh’s fingers deftly picking up the words on his skin and the look of disgust that would inevitably cross his features. The tangible proof that West had taken a piece of Tyler with him, ruined him more than he already had been ruined, leaving nothing left for Josh to claim. Nothing left for Tyler to give.

 

He stepped out of the shower in a hurry, dripping water all over the bathroom tile and hallway carpet as he made his way down into the kitchen, a single thought driving him there: He was going to get rid of this stupid brand. He was going to take back control of his own body.

 

He quickly surveyed the kitchen, his eyes landing on the block of knives for a moment, debating. He didn’t know if he’d be able to finish what he started with a knife, the pain could be too much. Unless… Tyler turned the knob on the stove and listened to the ignitor  _ tickticktick _ before the gas caught and blue flames bloomed on the spider burner. He turned the heat up, watching the flames turn hot orange and lick against the iron bars above it. Tyler frowned before grabbing an oven mitt to lift the iron cage away from the flame, leaving it open and easy to get to. He slid the widest chopping knife out of the block then and held it sideways over the fire, watching as the metal slowly turned pink, then angry red.

 

Tyler bit the inside of his cheek as he let himself debate for a moment whether or not this was a good idea. But if anyone could take the pain it would be him.

 

He only let himself think a second longer before he took the knife away from the flame and pressed the flat side of it against the soft skin below his belly. 

 

A scream tore itself out of his throat before he quickly reigned it in and bit down on the skin of his shoulder. His skin sizzled like bacon hitting a hot, greased pan and Tyler was tasting blood by the time he pulled the knife away from his skin. His jaw relaxed around his shoulder and Tyler opened eyes he hadn’t realized were closed and felt tears clumping his eyelashes together.

 

_ Ow. _

 

He looked down at the work he’d done and grimaced at the nasty gloss of his burned flesh. It was red and agitated and the outline of the knife’s blade was clear on his skin. But it had done the job so far as he could tell and Tyler sank to the floor, hissing when his pain flared at the movement.

 

Josh would never know.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! I love you guys all so much, your support and encouragement have been amazing even when I have been awful. Please let me know what you think, I feel so rusty and detatched from this story I hope you're all enjoying it still.

It took Josh a couple days to get back on his feet, but finally the shivering and the cold sweats and nausea had left him. His appetite returned and he was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich while Tyler was cleaning the stove.

 

“Hey, what do you think the class will be like?” He asked, his hand feeling around the countertop for the lid to the mayonnaise jar. 

 

The class was only in a couple days and Josh was beginning to feel nervous about going, he had no idea what to expect.

 

“Iunno.” Tyler mumbled, his voice coming from the floor. Josh listened to the sound of a brillo pad scratching over burnt-on food and grease stains. 

 

“You want a sandwich?” He offered before he put everything away.

 

The scratching stopped and Josh heard the oven door swing closed, “No thanks.”

 

Josh took a bite of his food, talking through it, “Do you think there’ll be tests? I’m not a great test taker.” He was shoving things back into the fridge, thinking back to what it had been like when he was a student. He shuddered at the thought, all that stress and uncertainty. Then again he’d also been a teenager at the time and he had been stressed and uncertain about more things than tests. Like, realizing he was gay, for one thing. Outing himself to friends and family for another.

 

Shutting the fridge door, Josh grabbed his plate and started to turn, not realizing Tyler was so close and accidentally colliding with him. 

 

Tyler hissed sharply at the contact, “Sorry! Sorry! Did I bump your wrist?” Josh asked, frozen in place.

 

“No, I’m fine.” Tyler’s voice was strained and Josh frowned.

 

“What hurts?” 

 

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” he barked and Josh felt a little hurt at the sharp tone. That wasn’t like Tyler.

 

“Ty-?”

 

“Josh, seriously. I’m fine.” Tyler’s voice was hard and Josh could only listen to his quick retreat out of the kitchen, wondering what he did wrong.

 

|-/

 

The day before they were supposed to go into town for the service class Josh was up before Tyler. Which was weird, because he was the one who slept in late, not the other way around. Tyler was always the first one up.

 

His talking alarm clock informed him that it was 12:06 PM when he finally heard Tyler’s bedroom door crack open. He stood from where he had been sitting up in bed and went to the hallway, “Tyler?”

 

“Hmm?” Came the groggy reply.

 

“You okay?”

 

He listened to Tyler clear his throat, his voice still gritty from sleep, “Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

 

Josh shrugged helplessly, “It’s late?”

 

“I was tired.. Jeez, it’s freezing in here.” He heard Tyler’s teeth click together as he shivered, “You leave a window open?”

 

Frowning, Josh shook his head. The temperature was fine, he’d had the thermostat up to 72 degrees since snow had come.

 

“Hm.” Tyler hummed and Josh heard him shuffle in the direction of the bathroom.

 

_ Oh no _ , he thought, his brain finally catching up to him,  _ I got him sick. _

 

Josh kept his ears attuned to Tyler the rest of the day, monitoring him and hoping against hope he’d been wrong. They sat together in the living room, some daytime soap playing on the TV while he felt Tyler switch between pulling the blanket over him and throwing it off himself all day. Then the coughing started around dinner time, a deep hacking that had Josh’s chest aching. 

 

“Tyler, maybe we should reschedule that class tomorrow.” Josh had said as he settled back on the couch with a bowl of cereal. Tyler had refused food again.

 

“What? Why?”

 

“You’re sick. And it’s all my fault, I’m so sorry.” He grimaced as another coughing fit wracked through Tyler.

 

“We can’t skip it, there’s no rescheduling.” Tyler said matter of factly, “I’ll be fine.”

 

Josh had tried to argue more but he knew Tyler was right. If they missed this class there was the danger of the lawsuit being dropped and there was no way in hell Josh was going to let that happen.

 

|-/

 

The morning of the class Debby drove them into the city and dropped them off at the courthouse. Tyler led Josh through the building until they found the right room and took a seat. 

 

It was a small room that had been laid out like a classroom, chairs lined up facing the front where a teacher would be, except there were no desks to be found. They were the first ones there and they waited quietly for a few minutes. Tyler shivered in the room, a tickle formed at the back of his throat and he swallowed down the cough that was coming. He didn’t feel too hot, that was for sure. But this class was important and a little fever wasn’t going to stop him from completing it.

 

A woman and her slave came into the room then and Tyler easily identified which one was the slave. Her head was bent respectfully and a white plastic collar was clasped tightly around her neck. The woman, smartly dressed and around the age of 40, glared at Tyler as he looked at her openly. She sat at the opposite end of the room, her slave kneeling on the floor next to her and Tyler awkwardly looked away.  _ Oh. _

 

He debated kneeling on the floor next to Josh but stood his ground when he figured if Josh didn’t care, why should he? 

 

Two more people came in, collared slaves in tow and Tyler watched out of the corner of his eye as each one kneeled on the dirty floor while their Masters took the chairs. He sighed resolutely once he realized all the freemen were shooting him murderous looks and scooched his chair out of the way to kneel.

 

Josh’s hand around his arm stopped him, “Where are you going?” he whispered and Tyler heard the tension in his voice. 

 

“Nowhere,” He whispered back and continued to kneel onto the floor, “This is a very public place.” He said and tucked his shoulders in like that would keep him safe from the angry looks being thrown his way.

 

Josh pulled on his shoulder, a frown creasing his eyebrows, “I don’t care about that. Get up from there.”

 

Tyler’s heart thumped as he heard a woman clearing her throat intentionally at them. He dared to glance up and saw a man open and close his mouth, clearly getting ready to say something to Josh about controlling his slave. He didn’t want to get them thrown out, he didn’t want anybody yelling at Josh.

 

“Master,” Tyler spoke clearly so the people in the room would hear him, “Please, this is where I belong.”

 

Josh’s face looked pained and he opened his mouth to say something but thankfully the teacher took that moment to walk in, loudly introducing herself as ‘ _ Mrs. Parker, but call me Judy, please.’ _

 

“Leave it.” Tyler whispered to Josh, hoping he’d get the message. This was the world they lived in, there were rules for slaves and in public Tyler needed to be following them. 

 

Thankfully, Josh turned his attention to the woman at the front of the room, his hand leaving Tyler’s shoulder. He swayed briefly without Josh grounding him, his stomach painfully roiling and he thought about how glad he was to have skipped breakfast.

 

As it turned out, it was uncommon for slaves, especially  _ bed _ slaves, to have their ‘type’ changed. The other three slaves in the room were brand new to the system, learning their roles for the first time. They would graduate and earn their fancy navy blue collars and then be sold to someone who needed them. This was actually the tenth class for them, first for Tyler and Josh, and seeing as Tyler had already been through basic training he only needed to attend the last class, or classes if the instructor thought he need more training.

 

And by the nervous way Josh’s leg was bouncing in the chair beside him, Tyler decided he needed to try his best to ensure they only would have to take this one class.

 

“Well, everybody, I would like to introduce to you our new classmates,” Judy spoke and gestured in Josh’s direction, “This is Josh Dun and his in training service slave.” She began a polite clap but Josh interrupted her, his teeth grit angrily, “His name is  _ Tyler _ .”

 

“Oh, okay.” Judy said awkwardly and continued her clap, a few other claps in the room followed before it was just uncomfortably silent. 

 

“Alright,” She continued in an overly cheerful manner, “Well, now, I was thinking that we’d go over to basic commands one last time, and Josh, if you and your- um, if you and Tyler would like to demonstrate at the front of the class? It would be easier for you to understand what it is were doing since thus far we’ve been using visual methods for the slaves.”

 

Tyler saw Josh stiffen in his chair, “Oh, um… commands? We don’t…”

 

“It’s alright,” Judy encouraged, “Tyler’s not a novice, he should know them. I’ll help you. Come on up, boys.”

 

Slowly, Josh stood and Tyler followed suit, stilling for a moment as the room swayed around him. He placed Josh’s hand into the crook of his elbow and guided him to the front of the class, bowing his head before Mrs. Parker. He kept his eyes respectfully lowered as he let go of Josh and took a step back, shadowing Josh by keeping out of the way but by being close enough to step in and help in any way he could.

 

This wasn’t Tyler’s first rodeo. Master Olenski had loved showing Tyler off in public and he had attended so many cocktail parties and benefits he’d lost count. 

 

“Good,  _ good!” _ Judy said, “You see how he stays out of the way so as not to be a distraction but is ready at the beck and call of his Master? That is what we want out of our slaves. They should be invisible until we decide otherwise. Very good.”

 

Tyler glanced up, long enough to notice the muscles in Josh’s jaw clenching and unclenching, but thankfully he was staying quiet.

 

“Now, Josh, I noticed that you have Tyler guide you with his arm? And that’s fine, but I would just like to let you know that there is always the option of using a leash.” She smiled brightly and Tyler sent a silent prayer that Josh say nothing, “If you’d like, I do have a collar and a leash, we can see how well he-”

 

“That won’t be necessary.” Josh bit out.

 

“Alright, well for the rest of you, we do have leashes up front if you’d like to continue leash training. It serves as a helpful guide and as a firm reminder to keep the slaves in place.” 

 

Tyler peeked out at the room as the other freemen all got up and retrieved leashes for their slaves.  _ Why not just get a damn dog? _

 

They spent the rest of the class up front as the visual example for the rest. Judy kept referring to Josh as her ‘happy volunteer’ and Josh kept scowling at her like he wished nothing more than her quick demise. Tyler, meanwhile, fought to pay attention to what was being asked of him through a pulsing headache and a cold sweat that was forming under his arms and along his back.

 

She made Josh speak commands he’d never use and Tyler displayed them all with near perfect execution. Each word came out like an apology from Josh’s throat. Reluctantly he would say, “Kneel” and Tyler would drop smoothly to the floor, his knees barely making a sound as they thumped on the hard floors. “Lead” Josh would say and Tyler would take position at Josh’s side, ready to guide him anywhere he needed to go. “Around” said Josh and Tyler would move to Josh’s other side and so on.

 

Judy seemed very impressed by Tyler, she had only had to correct him once. He’d forgotten to ‘shadow’ after one of the commands, standing next to Josh and not dropping back. He’d been too busy fighting the nausea in his stomach, trying not to projectile vomit all over Mrs. Parker’s nice dress suit. She’d reached out and backhanded him across the face, catching him off guard and snapping him back into focus. Josh had nearly lost it, launching at her and telling her to keep her hands off Tyler.

 

She’d given him a nasty look and Tyler knew she wanted to tell him off. It wasn’t normal to treat slaves the way Josh treated him. These freemen, they thought Josh was weak for letting these things slip, for calling Tyler by his name. 

 

“You’re in a vulnerable state, Mr. Dun,” Judy had said, “I just don’t want you to get too lax and allow that slave to take advantage. He needs structure and punishments or these little slips will turn into something bigger.”

 

Josh stubbornly shook his head and Tyler was waiting for him to say the worst. Instead, he said, “Are we done here? Did we pass?”

 

Judy sighed, “Yes, you passed.” She turned and dug a navy blue collar out of her bag, passing it into Josh’s hands along with a graduate certificate, “But he has to wear this.” She gestured with the collar, “In public at least. It’s the law.”

 

Grumbling something under his breath, Josh turned to face Tyler, his fingers working over the buckle until he finally got it undone.

 

Tyler kneeled clumsily, his head spinning, and presented his neck the way he’d been taught and a worried little frown etched its way into Josh’s eyebrows. Hesitantly, he reached out, finding Tyler’s throat and with gentle hands he fastened the collar loosely around his neck.

 

Tyler stood and lead him out until they were back on the street. 

 

“ _ Jesus _ ,” Josh exhaled, “What the ever living fuck was that?”

 

Stifling a cough, Tyler dug his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick text to Debby that they were done. He was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go home and pass out in bed. His burn throbbed hot and painful on his skin and Tyler ignored it.

 

“I’m sorry I had to put you through that.” Josh said to him and Tyler could have laughed.

 

“I’m sorry  _ you _ were put through it.” He countered, “That? That was nothing for me, don’t worry about it.”

 

“Ugh, that bitch slapped you!” Josh balled his fists in the air, looking like he was ready for round one in the boxing ring, “God I wanted to slug her so bad.”

 

Tyler tried and failed to stifle another cough until he was bent over and hacking out everything but his lungs. He felt Josh rubbing his back when it was over, “We need to get you home.”

 

“Debby’s on her way.” He rasped but couldn’t agree more.

 

Outside the snow had been pushed into piles along the road and blackened by car exhaust. It hadn’t snowed fresh powder in days, but it was still icy cold outside and Tyler shivered in it, wishing he could grab a piece of the charcoal colored lump and press it to the burning skin at his hip.

 

Debby’s Beetle pulled up ten minutes later and Tyler all but collapsed into the back seat while Josh climbed into the passenger side.

 

“Jeez, how’d it go? You okay Tyler?”

 

“I think I got him sick,” Josh’s sheepish voice said from the front, “And oh my god, Debby. It was a nightmare.”

 

“Tell me about it on the way,” she said, “Let’s get him home.”

 

Tyler passed out before he could hear Josh tell her about the class.


End file.
